Sunday, November 15, 2009

Things I learn after throwing a party...

There were some ups and downs, highs and lows, goods and bads of throwing a party. After throwing a bbq party last night, I think it should be shared for everyone's pleasure.

1. Meat should be sliced very, very, very thinly.

2. Meat and chicken should be left marinated overnight, not just 3 hours....damn.

3. Never, ever feel ashamed or afraid to ask for help from friends...thanks hakim, adlan...MVP dowh korang...

4. Malaysians tend to be late for at least 15 minutes, remember that Aiman.

5. Be ready for some unexpected company...damn little

6. They were some unsporting people...suh ikut theme pun susah. Tak de baju konon...porraahhh!!! haha...

7. Them sporting people, you guys are sure to be on my list for any party I'll be throwing next time.

8. Girls are so insecure and cruel. Last minute cancelation friends coming along la...tak de baju so can't come la...takut nanti tak de gang la... The point of going to a party, IS TO MEET NEW PEOPLE AND HAVE FUN!!!! celaka...

9.Place to get food and place to chill should be placed not too far of a distance.

10. Have enough food; prepare for more than what you'd

11. Need to have something serious to dare with kalo maen game...JILAT!!! JILAT!!! haha...

12. People should say goodbye to the host when leaving the party...tak yah la tibe2 menghilang terus...

13. Girls don't trust me...celaka...

14. My social circle consist of mainly boys...celaka...

15. Pretty much of the lads are cool, sporting ones...great to invite to a party.

16. I never knew that people don't have at least one pair of rock oriented clothes at their house.

Last but not least...

17. Tight-ass jeans will at first kill and suffocate your balls, but, lame2, it feels kinda

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 30th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Don't blame me, blame my gender.

Heads up, before this thing starts, yeah, this post, will indeed have something to do with my gender; being a male, having testosterone, doing manly stuffs, FANTASISING and other things that are within the realms of your imagination.

Note the bolded word, yeah, gonna talk about that now. Before reading this, don't be a bloody killjoy, don't close your mind, break away from your stereotype-mold of a person, and lastly, DON'T TRY TO BE ALL NAIVE.

Every time I see a pretty lady walking past me by the street, I WILL MAKE HER KNOW THAT I'M CHECKING HER OUT; with my eyes slightly arched downwards, with my mouth closed, with my eyeballs slowly and surely following the direction of her movement, and when she walked passed me, I turn around to check-out her rear view, and also to see whether she turns back to make sure that I was checking her out. All of these are done under the main condition that she was walking alone, with no male counterparts walking besides her that society deems as her mate or that there won't be any misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or bodily harm...haha.

There were lots of different reactions that were pretty amusing and at the same time, awesome.

There were women that looked back at me, with their eyes arched upwards, smilling, making a cute face, and their heads slightly tilted to the left or right, as if asking me the question: "What do you think?"

There were women that looked back and after realising me looking at them, quickly turned their heads back around as if saying: "Stop're making me blush.."

There were women, of course, that gave no reactions at all...arrogant bastards...

There were women, don't act surprised, that walked back towards me and asked directly: "Were you checking me out?"

There were women, again, don't act surprised, that walked back towards me and shouted at me: "Pervert!!!"

I could go on and on about them different reactions but decides to stop now for the good of mankind...haha.

Everytime I see a nice pic, either beautiful, cute, sexy, classy or any other superlatives that you could find to describe a woman in a good manner, in Myspace or Facebook accounts of the opposite sex that are my acquaintances or not, I would of course share it with my fellow peeps and comment about it.

"Nape la dia ni cun sangat.."


"Bapak cun la sial!!!"

"Holy SHIT!!!"

"Curves dia...maut bhai..."

"Tak leh lagi putih ke muke dia ni.."

"Mata japanese anime wey..."

"Mesti best kan balak dia..."

"Aku rase mak dia ni pun mesti cun gak..."

The conversations stated above are some of the many examples of the things that use to come up when I share nice pics of women with the lads that.....appreciate the beauty of women the same way as I do and the fact that they are showing it for us to look, yeah, ni kira cam favourite past-time hobby kitorang gak la...haha. Oh, and the pics weren't restricted from social networking sites only, female artists yang cun2 pun kitorang layan gak...

Everytime I meet a friend or any new acquaintances, that are of course of the opposite sex, I would thoroughly "scan" her to see which part of her body that she is showing off and screaming to the public, especially men: "Do not touch the merchandise boys..."

When she is trying to push out her facial features by enhancing them details that make them stand out, like great hair, red-blood lipsticks, thick black mascara, or anything elses that make men notice her face, yeah, I will notice it alright. When she thinks that I'm not looking, yeah, I will in fact make my imagination work overtime. I will imagine her with different types of hair, different length, different styles and different colour. I will imagine how she would look like without her makeup, with different colour of foundation, blusher, and different colour of lipsticks. I will imagine her with glasses or with contact lenses.

If she's wearing them tight-ass jeans, yeah, you guessed it alright, I would focus on her arse when she turns around so that I would get a clearer picture of the shape and proportions. And the same thing goes if she was pushing the two elements up north. I would curi2 check her breasts out, just to get an idea of the shape and size. To determine whether it was appropriate with her body frame or not. A short-framed woman with a big ass, yeah, if could sometimes both be a blessing and a curse....depends on the situation of course. But I just couldn't find a fault when it comes to women with plenty of mammary glands to go around with. Again, don't blame me, blame my gender.

My point being, I told some of my female friends of mine that are pretty close to me about this habit of mine, many of them gave mixed reactions...both almost all agreed that I should keep it to myself. But, knowing that I'm just too curious to know on how people would react if they knew this, I must admit that it's just too hard to keep it in...haha.

Some might argue that I'm a pervert, but seriously, dah diorang nak tunjuk, dah diorang nak people firstly recognise them by the physical characteristics that they want people to firstly recognise them with, I think it's pretty unfair to give me that passive-aggressive treatment if I don't even had a chance to start with don't you think?

Oh, and don't think that I'm the only weirdo that's with this "disease". If you women wanna show it so badly, we men will in fact receive it, helly yeah, enjoy it with open arms. Don't be pissed off because frankly speaking, we men are secretly admiring you and are indeed attracted and is giving full attention towards the "attributes" that you women are showing off and wanting us to give attention to in the first place. And think this as favor from me to you women that are reading this because basically, I am telling you ladies the things that are sometimes in the minds of men everywhere.

Damn it...I would probably have more male enemies after this for revealing our deepest darkest "secret" to you guys of the female species... Oh, and any House fans out there, regarding the title of this entry, could you guys tell me which episode it came from? haha...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 29th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Am I just that pathetic or just too cool? bloody month since my last post... Anyway, let's cut the foreplay. Back to the topic of my entry...hmmm, I don't know how to put it, or where to put it, this is because I think I spend too much time alone...all by myself....with nobody else in sight. Don't believe me? Well, please take some of these few cases into account then....

Case 1

Believe it or not, it'd been quite a long time, 2 months to be precise, since I had breakfast with someone other than myself sitting on the same table. Yeah, 2 months... I don't know if it's any big of a matter to any of you but I don't know la...for the first few days, I felt nothing was wrong. Eating alone all by myself in the morning is a perfectly normal thing to do. 2 or 3 weeks later I was starting to check out other people with their partners or friends that are having breakfast around terms of their newspapers, their clothes, their shoes, the things they eat and all them other petty stuffs. After that period of time, I was starting to think about stuffs. I started to doubt my communicating skills, I started to lose focus, strangely, lost some of my appetite and yeah, up to a certain degree, I started to wonder whether I was just not that normal to start with....haha.

Case 2

When my mom told me that my room was starting to smell like me, I gave little attention to it. I brushed it aside thinking that it was another one of my mom's lame attempt to clean up my room....haha. I don't know how, after coming back from playing football one evening, I went straight into my room to take my towel before one defining odour stopped me on my tracks. I thought that something was up so I went back out of my room and yeah, the odour went away, just like that. So I came back in and boom, the scent came back. I think I am able to define the smell, break it up to smaller segments so that it would give you an idea of what I was dealing with at that time. You know that new car smell right? That plus some scent of men perfume that your father always use and that hair-gell smell...haha.

So I frantically checked my room to search for any old clothes, towels, bedsheets or things that contributed to the smell but found nothing. I was mystified, frustrated, and up to a certain degree, quite angry actually because I am pretty sure that my sense of personal hygiene is not that bad. Suddenly, words of my mom the other day was ringing in my ear. That smell....was that my smell? haha...pikir punye la pikir, I couldn't find some logical sense to turn it around and over the particular puzzle so yeah, I accept jer la.. But seriously, other than this particular huge mountain of unfolded clothes, a layer of dust, visible through the naked eyes, that was covering the furnitures and tiles of my room, and books that could need a wee-bit more effort of putting away, yeah, I think I was doing quite okay actually.

While I was looking around, just l like that, boom, I think I know why my room has this so-called "my scent" lingering in it...yeah, you guessed it, I spent too much time in my room. There's 24 hours in one day, I spent approximately 14-16 hours a day in it doing stuffs that are private...haha. Maybe my body odour kinda got stucked onto the bed, the floor, the furniture....I don't know la...could anyone tell me? haha..

Case 3

I couldn't remember when was the last time I went out to hang out together with people that are not as the same sex as other words, with girls...haha. The things that you're thinking in your head right now, those are not the reasons behind my worries. My main concern is whether the opposite sex would think me of someone that is not...normal...haha. I asked the lads, yeah, the say I'm normal. I asked them lassies that I know pretty well, yeah, they too say that I'm normal. My view and desire towards the opposite sex never changed, and I never see guys in ways that are....aduyai...lost for words... Mai, fill in the blanks with some fancy word that you know...haha.

Do girls find the tendency of wanting to be alone somehow freakish? Weird? Because seriously, I need to break this "lucky" streak that I'm in right now...haha.

Case 4

What will happen when you watch a little too much comedy shows all the time? You'll start to think that everything is funny and starts to take your foot off the pedal a little bit more. Yeah, it's not wrong to not take everything so seriously...but what's concerning is when you take matters that are supposed to be dealt seriously a little too lightly. My brother, he skipped sekolah agama one time too many, and I busted him. Instead of busting his head off with loud and harsh words, I smiled at gave him a little laugh. I don't know what was his reaction seeing me laughed because he was expecting something else...haha.

Because you see, I love to kill time by watching comedy tv shows. Someway, somehow, that is enough to make me forget my loneliness, and make me think that being alone is not that bad of a thing to be in. But, I don't know guys tell me.

Case 5

You guys ever had this feeling of don't want to be in the same room with that particular person? I don't know how to say this...but I think I am uneasy to be in the same confined place with people that I know. I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond in my mom's room, my mom came in, and like an immediate automatic reaction, I stood up and went out of the room....haha. While being in a car travelling long distances, if it's with my mom, I must be the one who's driving in order for my mom to fall asleep...haha. If not driving, I would plug in my earphones to listen to music or play my take my mind away from the current moment and position... 10 or 15 minutes of doing nothing and having empty conversations, yeah, that's fine with me... But longer than that, I often have trouble coping with it...aduyai...

Guys, the things that are mentioned here, I am indeed aware of it being a problem. But because of me enjoying spending time alone by myself, I just don't know how to react or cope with it. Could anyone please help me ease this pain and get it off my back?

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 28th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Haha..I'm a Wilson....

Snapshot Report Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 93
Subscale percentile = 34

According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is slightly below average. People who score like you do feel that their ability to understand and deal with their own emotions and those of others is just barely acceptable. Emotionally intelligent people have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are generally able to control their moods. It’s easy for them to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons. They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. They also report having an easy time offering support to others; likely due to an empathetic nature and a solid ability to offer advice. Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others.

Haha, I read a post from Mai, utter rubbish from mindless dude(she's a dudette by the way), and yeah, I must admit that I was curious to see how well I would score due to the fact that I never took these sort of questions and some way, somehow, deep inside me, I was starting to get all confused with what kind of character I would be in House Land due to some complications happening for the past couple of months. I thought and hoped that I would be a House but damn it, I turned out to be a pretty decent human being after all, emotionally at least...LOL.

People who score like you do feel that their ability to understand and deal with their own emotions and those of others is just barely acceptable. "

SPOT ON!!! Yeah, I was screwed up pretty badly a few years I guess I'm on the right track then huh...

Emotionally intelligent people have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are generally able to control their moods. "

Yeah, this sounds pretty much like me...if not consistently being in this sort of state due to the fact that sometimes, when I'm angry, BOOM!!! Just like that everything went off. When I'm disappointed and sad, instead of crying, I watch comedy..that's just comical... When I'm stressed out and can't always get what I want, I would be in that silent, lifeless, emotionless mood...responding with sort responses like yeah, don't know, oh, hmmm, haha, stuffs like that. Oh, and yeah, I would curse and curse and curse and be angry at everything behind the backs of them people that are frustrating me...but thankfully, it will last for like a few minutes....haha.

It’s easy for them to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. "

Haha....out of 10 times trying, I would be successful for like only 2 or 3 times....haha, so yeah, I'm a work in progress.

In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons. "

Hahaha...for several reasons...yeah, it's true alright. I will communicate with acquaintances just like saying hi and other shitty stuffs, usually for a few minutes...nothing deep and long. If they do intend to stay, I would probably just listen and let them do all the talking. But if communicating with people that are friends and beneficial beneficial, in terms of giving me a good time, laugh, flirt, gossip, listening to their problems and offer solutions thus making me feel all good about myself and other stuffs like that, yeah, I'm pretty good at that.

"They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy.

This is true when it involves people that are of the same gender. Notice why all of my top friends in myspace are boys? LOL. Hmmm, girls, on the other hand, I don't know la... I tried to pick up their signals, interpret their signs, but seriously, for those that I meet for like the very first time, they couldn't see past my physical being. Other than those who have decent sense of humour, I couldn't see other ways on how to communicate with them. So, to them girls that know who they are, yeah, COUNT YOURSELVES PRETTY LUCKY...or is it that's lucky...haha

They also report having an easy time offering support to others; likely due to an empathetic nature and a solid ability to offer advice. "

Haha, true indeed. All thanks to House. Seriously, I don't know where I would be without that bloody TV show. But I'm not sure about the whole empathetic nature thing though. I give out advice based on logic, not random feelings.

Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others."

Haha, couldn't agree more. I kinda know where my weakness is, like being all lazy and will easily give up on matters if the fire isn't there anymore, but strangely, instead of dealing with that, due to my laziness, I am just way too lazy to deal with that...probably due to lack of motivation...see? Told you right? My other problem is lack of motivation but because I'm too lazy to find motivation....I'm kinda like stuck in this bloody vortex where I'm spinning round and round and round furiously, but ends up getting

Oh, and only now I realised that I'm a Wilson....stuffs inside my head are only theoretical...only when the moments come, under severe pressure and being all desperate will I do all them bad and gutsy stuffs. And what character in House do you think you are?

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 27th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The reasons to why I celebrate Hari Raya.

Hmmm, it's philosophical alright, the reasons to why we celebrate Hari Raya. I mean, everyone should have their own reasons to why they are looking forward to the particular day, and every single one of them reasons should be different right? With that in mind, it is the thing that had been bugging me all week, to know which one of them many reasons, are the ones that can be considered...logical.

For as long as I can remember, the two main reasons to why I am so eager to celebrate Hari Raya is first money, and then second, the food....yeah, I'm that shallow... Actually, I don't know how to rank these two in terms of which one comes first. Comparing money and's like comparing a threesome and a

Anyway, I'm not talking about them shitty RM1, 2 or if you're lucky RM 5 duit raya...them things are childplay... I'm talking about the motherload...RM100 here, RM200 there, and if you're really, really, really lucky, RM...

wait for it...
a lil bit more hype...
RM 500!!!

I still remember a few years back, on that particular Raya, I made a record high of RM 1000 just from receiving money from grown-ups... Were they feeling somehow obligated to give that much money just to prove a point and to feel good about themselves? I mean like yeah, they do give me money everytime I went back to Kluang, like maybe RM50 and stuffs, but RM500 on a single day? Had they done something terribly wrong that it's worth RM500? But what the heck right, their guilty conscience renovated my pocket to be a little bit more deeper and harder to burn through...haha.

I do think that this reason of mine, is indeed logical simply because to earn some extra cash. But strangely, weirdly, I never knew what happened to all that money though. I was still immature to handle that amount of money at that particular time so my mom, like any other typical, good mothers out there, decided to keep the money for my future's sake....yeah right. haha...

But damn it, this year, I only made....RM 150.


Moving on, second reason is the food. Oh my god, the food, I tell you, it's like tasting a teenie tiny microscopic bit of heaven.

Ketupat=RM 2.80

Sambal kacang= RM 2.00

Rendang daging= RM 4.50

Kuah lodeh (this is what us javanese call it..ala, yang kuah putih tu)= RM 1.50

Combine them all together= PRICELESS.

Am I being too critical here by stating that them raya food are indeed better than sex, drugs, and alcohol COMBINED? No, no...what am I saying. Nothing beats them three...haha.

And dudes, in particular the dudettes, I MAKE MY OWN BLOODY KETUPAT...yeah, as in find the bloody tree where I can get them bloody ketupat leaves, anyam them bloody ketupat leaves to make it all cute and square, and boil them bloody cute ketupats so that I can later fill ma stomach with them. So girls, what do you guys think of me now?

And don't get me started with them kuih-muih. My favourite, them cornflakes with honey holding them little flakes together, sprinkled with sesame seeds and little pieces of fruits. ESTACY!!!

BUT WAIT!!! I discovered a new version, cornflakes with chocolate sauce. That's not the thing that I'm so eager to tell you though, you eat both of these two versions TOGETHER.

The taste?

Haha...anyway, guys, these are the two main reasons to why I celebrate Hari Raya.

But wait, what about them forgiving each other and stuffs you ask?

What about them forging stronger relationships with your relatives and stuffs you ask?

What about them religious side of raya and stuffs you ask?

Chill, I will touch on them more sensitive matters in my hopefully, next blog entry. I'm still in festive mood to write stuffs that are sensitive and provocative.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 26th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tonight's top 10 are....

Tonight, we would see 10 questions that I'd personally encountered that ranked as my personal best, in terms of being the most bizzarre that is. And sekarang tengah sangap Late Show with David Letterman...kira parody la DRUMROLL FRANK!!!

10. Eh, you are not the father? I thought your father was the son leh....

9. Were you on tv last night?

8. Is Obama really your uncle?

7. You and Brian, both from the same mother?

6. You're speaking Chinese or Mandarin?

5. You're not married?

4. Mister, is your baby a boy or a girl?

3. Eh, how come your mother is bigger than your father and you are bigger than both of them?

2. The condoms are on sale sir, how many boxes do you want?


People tell me the reason you grown so big is because of your circumcision(berkhatan) it true?

We'll now take a break for the commercials but don't go anywhere, the Late Show will be right

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 25th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

You know what comedy is?

hahahahahahaha....I'm writing this particular entry with terabytes of laughter to spare after reading some of them postings from my fellow dudes and dudettes(a female dude...), going through some myspace profiles, going through some of the pictures that they have, and so on. Without wasting anymore time, let's move on to the good parts...

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise the fact that some of the dudettes that I know have this very, very, very, VERY SOFT underbelly towards the needs of affection, attention, "love" and care from the dudes that they know. I mean girl, you're like less than a bloody month after your recent break-up, and now, after all the crap, shit and nonsense that were clearly stated for everyone in the world wide web to clearly see about you not needing a new dude, you found yourself a new guy...a guy that you deem as your messiah to save you from all them bloody needs of yours.

Yeah, I am a non-believer of true love, hopefully that fact will change, god's willings, but you're another prove that further justify my stand that there is no such thing as true love. Bloody hate me all you want, but I could still clearly remember all them alleged great things you said of your former love. AND I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE THING YOU SAID ABOUT YOU CAN'T FORGET HIM AND STUFFS. Is it just me or could women be these great mythological beings that are able to fully control their feelings regarding their past words and actions so that they will constantly feel good about themselves?

Yeah I'm jealous, jealous for realising that women are afraid of me, jealous that I could never be that dude that girls fancy, jealous that this whole bloody world is all about first impressions and superficiality and mundane constructs talking about mundane matters when it comes to the art of courtship... But hey, I come accustomed to the fact that I can't always get what I want... Because of that, I will admit that writing this entry is one of the ways to voice out my frustration...besides meeting the

Kepada sesiapa yang terasa, first thing in your mind must be "I think this dude must be so bloody pathetic that he is way too bloody lonely and way too bloody stupid to have any bloody friends moreover a bloody girlfriend..." Hahaha...aduyai, suke hati la wey. I'm just writing all these things as my personal source of humour, to see and let others know that people are willing to do stupid stuffs when they're "IN LOVE". Sape lagi yang nak hina and maki lebih, silakan,

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to read a particular blog where the particular writer hates this particular person, writes it in the blog, with the name of the person that was being hated nowhere to be seen, and at the end of the blog, this particular quote appears:

"I really don't wanna fight with you, but because you're being such an arrogant ass, you leave me no choice but to write this in my blog. If you do eventually reads this, it was your fault that I write all these stuffs..."

haha...yeah, funny isn't it? You're involving yourself in a conflict but still opting to stay on the fence? Screw the other person for acts of asshood but screw you harder for not voicing it out to him. Screw the other person for being oblivious and obnoxious but screw you harder for not dealing it the right way.

But what about these things that i'm doing you ask? Hahaha, the acts of making an ass out of yourself as mentioned above are not worrisome complications for me...they're my source of humour and laughter. I have no problems whatsoever with the dudes and duddetes that I observed to have done them pretty funny things. I think that the things that you guys had done should be known by everyone...I should share the joy and laughter right? Keep on doing it, other than sex, drugs, and alcohol, you guys are the things that's keeping my sanity in check...haha.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise this particular person is trying too hard to be innocent. Do you really think that I'll accept the fact that you're saying you never, ever, ever, ever watched porn in your life? And you're saying that it's all disgusting and stuffs...and you're from KL...that's just pure comedy... Look at the way you dress, look at the way you act and talk, even a bloody guy that is visually impared can sense your hypocrisy miles away...

Come on la...we're bloody 18 year olds already... We can be open about our sexuality, we can talk matters that are "matured", heck, we can even get married for god's sake...

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise someone being something that that particular someone is denying of not being. You're saying you're not gedik, but look at how you spell them words in your blog, look at how you construct them words in your blog and look at the things you write about in your blog.

First time adding you in myspace, you're telling me not to forget to comment your pics. Aduyai...why are you so bloody insecure? And judging by them pics, yeah, it is safe to say that you are indeed gedik.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise that things might not be as good as you had planned. You hate me, and you talk bad about me behind my back. And you act to be all friendly and nice in front of me. You think that no one would tell me about all the stuffs you tell them. Haha...too bad, they told me.

I guess if you're not talking to me after this, or you're fighting with other friends of yours that are my friends too, I think you had already read this particular entry and decided that it's time for you to drop the act.

Last one, you know what comedy is? Comedy is where you succesfully escape a RM600 fine from the police after committing multiple traffic offences by acting all poor, desperate, and innocent. Aren't Malaysian law enforcers just great, respectful individuals? lol...

Again, I would like to stress out that all the things mentioned above, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS WITH IT. I'm just sharing it with everybody so that they too can read about it and we all can have a good laugh together...that's all.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 24th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

White lies....

This thing had bothered me for quite some time now...especially after knowing a sensational revelation a few days back that I must admit managed to rocked my world... A white lie, something that is subjective yet ironically, people have this tendency to view it as an obligation of usage when it comes for the saving of a particular person of interest...especially when it involves feelings.

So my question is, what and where is that ultimate borderline which separates our conscience into telling that particular person that it is enough, it is time to tell the truth or ok, this thing I'm doing, is for the best interest of everyone, so it's not a bad thing.

You and this particular friend of yours, you guys are one heck of a bloody great team. You guys had been best friends through thick and thin. Both of you shared the joys and pain of life, both of you were there for each other when anyone of you needs the other half in desperate times. You two are like brothers or sisters, but only of different mothers. But, you knew all of the bad things that the other half had done. You told him or her that they should stop doing all them bad deeds. But no, the other half didn't listen...they kept on doing the stuffs that are morally wrong...and, they asked for you to unconsciously enable all them bad things that they're doing...example, by not telling his or her parents the truth about the things that their child had done behind their backs. In your mind, yeah, for old time's sake, for best friends sake, a white lie won't harm anybody.

Another situation, you and your bf or gf had been together for quite some time. Amidst the joy, fun and thrill of having a soul mate, you think that the special one is flaw is possible in front of your eyes that might depict him or her in a negative manner. One particular date together, your mate tells you that it should be time for both of you to try out "something new". The possibilities of the term "something new" is abstract and's up to you readers to judge what are the possible "new" things that are morally wrong, and most importantly, against what your religion is all about. I will not touch on matters such as these. Your mate asks you whether you're ok with it or not, you wanted to say no, but in your mind, yeah, for coupling's sake, for the sake of being in the moment, for your mates sake, for the sake of trying new things out, for the sake of not being dumped, you say it's ok, a white lie won't harm anybody.

Different situation, you found out that one of your siblings had done something bad, something horribly bad that it's simultanaeously horrible and disgusting. If that particular sibling of yours is older than you, he or she will just give you that look of "DO NOT BLOODY TELL NO ONE ABOUT THIS...IF NOT, YOU'RE SCREWED!!!". If you're older than that particular sibling of yours, he or she will just give you that "Please don't tell anyone about this....I'm begging you, nobody needs to know. Please have mercy on me..." look. Your conscience is telling you to do the right thing, but in your mind, yeah, for siblings sake, for the sake of having mercy, for the sake of not humiliating your siblings, for the sake of being a supposedly good older influence, for the sake of not being hated for the rest of your life, for the sake of not receiving the cold shoulder treatment, you shut that conscience up, and say that it's ok, a white lie won't harm anybody.

Last one, your friend uses your other friend in order to get something out of the victim. After finally achieving the aim, your friend is starting to have doubts and guilt over the whole thing that had happened to the victim. But the victim didn't realised it, so your friend is asking you not to tell the victim over what had happened to him or her without they knowing it. Your conscience is telling you to do the right thing, but in your mind, yeah, for friends sake, for the sake of not hurting anybody's feelings, for the sake of some things should just be kept secret, for the sake of not wanting to make matters worst, for the sake that time itself would be enough to heal the wound and cover up the mistake, you shut your conscience up, and say that it's ok, a white lie won't harm anybody.

People, what is it that drives us to succumb to the whispers and allure of this particular conception of being a saviour, or being a soul that needs saving? Is it trully possible to save anyone based on lies? Can the definiton of a lie be altered only because you think it's not a bad thing to do so? Could the consequences of dealing with lies be thrown away simply because of our intentions? Is it possible to get away from the true consequences of lying? And most importantly, is it ok for you to lie in order to escape another police ticket?

Oh, and don't get me wrong. I do deal in lies...EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Lying to me is like porn, without it, MY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE!!! haha... I'm asking because yeah, I am just that curious.... And damn it, don't make it look so bloody obvious that you're trying to judge me as a bad person...I admitted before of being a hypocrite, we all are, the only difference is whether we show it for others to see or not. At least now I can watch porn with this bloody monkey off my

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 23rd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

People with power.

Well, my heart opens up to write on the above subject as to the fact I was pulled over by two cops while on my way to Alamanda last night. I had always been wondering, for them people who are influential in something, any particular thing, do they actually know that they're in some way, somehow, playing God?

Back to the cops thing. Ok, I was pulled over by two cops because apparently, they somehow blocked this secluded road on route to Alamanda by pulling over people that they SUSPECT to have broken the law only by glancing upon them for like only 3 or 5 seconds. And I thought that because the road was supposed to be secluded, what are the chances of meeting a bloody cop right, furthermore two of them...but yeah, somehow, all the 8 planets managed to allign themselves, all the powers in the cosmos banded together so that on that particular night, on a particular road where it was supposed to be secluded, on a particular road that I always took before this without bumping into any cops, on that particular trip to Alamanda, precisely at that particular moment, yeah, they're this two bloody cops...damn it... Oh, and I was riding with a friend as my passenger...double damn it...

They asked for my license and IC, so I gave it to them without any complaints...they got two bloody guns for God's sake. My fist strikes hard and fast, but not faster than a speeding bullet... Anyway, up till that moment and time, I could only hope that I wouldn't get a ticket because my license was only L and I pasted no L on my bike. Crossing my fingers, I was preparing my mind to think out of an elaborate excuse, A.K.A a white lie in order to flee another ticket. Mind you that I already had a RM 300 fine that was still waiting for me at home embracing me everytime I entered through the front door of my room with it's despicable and sarcastic laugh...celaka. And my mom doesn't know about

"Bang, L mane? Tak lekat pun kat moto.."

"Erm, ni moto first ade lekat...kat umah."

"Pastu L, tapi bawak orang. Mane leh camtu dik..." It seems that after looking at my IC, only then they realised that I was only a bloody 18 year

"Tak, dah buat P dah...baru jer last week buat. Tak dapat lagi..." Yeah, a white lie...

"Dah setahun baru nak buat P?" Oh shit, he's right. Come on Aiman, THINK!!!

"Tu sebab ade dua bro. Pass lesen kete lu...baru moto." REBOUND!!! lol...

"Abis tu, tak kan la banyak kali kot fail moto..."

I swallowed my pride...

"Lima kali bro...haha... Tak power ar pasal moto ni..." I was trying to make him feel that I'm this dush, so that he'll think that I'm inferior than him, giving him this illusion that he has authority over the whole situation....yeah, I'm an evil genius!!! Fist bump.....

They gave this little expression to each other that I was this budak kampung or something. I was kinda disgusted, but anything to escape a

"So bro, ni kene saman ke tak ni?"

"Nak kene ke tak?"

"Kalo boleh, bagi warning je boleh tak?" Fingers crossed, I kept quite and hoped for the best.

"Ok, dah, gerak. Laen kali aku jumpa ko tak lekat P, siap ko..."

I told my partner to get back on the bike, and we both continued our journey to Alamanda.

After that little thing with the police, with the law to be precise, I wanna ask my dear readers, what makes people think that they can play God all of a sudden? To be frank, first of all, I'm jealous with people with power...because I don't have as much power as they do. Secondly, I pity them because they're such a pathetic reason of a human being when they abuse their power and authority. Lastly, they use their authority and influence to make decisions that could alter a person's life.

I still remember my MARA loan interview last March, for the final question, they asked:

"What question do you want to ask us my boy?" I was kinda hoping that this sort of question would come out because I practiced in front of the mirror with the question a bloody lot of times. When the question came, yeah, like Barney Stinson seeing Asian girls with big boobs in bars, my mouth became all watery all of a

"Erm, no offence, but I want to ask that what makes you three people think that you guys are capable and qualified to judge a young boy or girl based on some 5 minutes interview and a resume on his past achievements in school? Is it because you guys are much older than us? You guys are more experienced than us? You guys had done this thing for such a long time that you guys are experts in decoding any person in 5 minutes time? I mean do you think that you guys are willing to hold responsible to answer to The Big Guy above one day because of the answer between a "YES" or a "NO" could somehow effect a person's life, possibly denying a person of a better future because you guys managed to succesfully decode a person in 5 minutes time into being eligible or not into accepting this loan?"

Yeah, they answered...but I wasn't quite listening because I was pretty tired at that particular time and my mind was already set on getting to bed once I reached

Dear readers, my point being, it had always intrigued me on how these people with power managed to sleep at night knowing that they're the only ones that are comforting themselves, telling themselves that they had made all the right decisions on matters regarding other people. I mean, do they actually have this power into controlling their conscience and manipulate them into telling themselves that they are indeed capable and have every rights to control such powers to determine the outcomes of others that were supposed to be carved out by the other people themselves?

My advice, to them aspiring leaders, just think about it very thoroughly when you're about to have power in your hands to decide the outcomes of many different important things that will effect many different things either directly or indirectly. I trully believed that I could be just one question away from not getting that MARA loan because to be frank, without the question that I'd just asked them, they'll probably think that I'm just this normal biggie...there are many people like me in this world...I'm just not THAT guy that they're searching for...not THAT guy that contains the X-factor...

Only now I trully understood the meaning of:

"With great powers come great responsibilities..."

Again, Hollywood, thank you....

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 22nd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Something good from watching TV.

I was watching How I Met Your Mother on the internet like 4 hours straight from 12 am till 4 am just now, after that, Stacked and then Whose Line Is It Anyway on StarWorld. Yeah...I love comedy. 5 hours of laughing your ass off early in the a dark room...ahhh... Yeah Barney Stinson, UP HIGH!!!

Anyway, today's blog entry would be about relationships; how we do it, and how people in the West do it. Yeah yeah, I know, I'm not a big fan of writing stuffs about lovey-dovey things but sometimes, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... After watching HIMYM, which is a pretty awesome show, UP HIGH BARNEY STINSON, I must say that how most of us based serious relationships on foundations that are....shakey. Exemptions of my observations, shut up, this entry is not about you. NOTE THE WORD "most"...not "all".


Boy likes girl. Girl playing hard to get. Boy not confident, scared so he get the girl's number from her friend. The girl somehow overlooks that flaw and find him somehow interesting. They contacted each other, VIA MESSAGES, for a few weeks. Romantic poems here, daily cheesy messages through the phone, chocolates there, a little bit of pixie dust, bang, boom, pow, they're a couple, they love each other. AND THEN THEY DECIDE TO GO OUT ON THEIR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.


Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Both are scared and shy to make the first move. A friend play match-maker and introduced them to each other. Yada yada yada, bla bla bla, pixie dust, BOOM! They're a couple, they both love each other. AND THEN THEY DECIDE TO GO OUT ON THEIR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.


Girl likes boy. Boy's confident, handsome, hard to get, and flirtatious. Boy initiated the first move. Girl's practically dying due to over-excitement and will do and say yes to anything to the boy. Yada yada yada, bla bla bla, pixie dust, BOOM! They're a couple, they both love each other. AND THEN THEY DECIDE TO GO OUT ON THEIR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.


Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Both are confident. Both watch Hollywood romantic movies. Both are open-minded. Both like to take it slow. Both went to more than just one or two dates. Obviously, both have experience in dating and relationships before. Yada yada yada, bla bla bla, pixie dust, BOOM! They're a couple, they both love each other.

Out of the 4 examples, I am willing to bet that the last one would last longer than all the first three combined. That is because they take it slow. One thing about being a couple, we all wanna know our partners better, we all wanna know all them teenie tiny secrets and details that make our partners special. But through the phone? Texting? Words written and shown on a screen? Well, one thing's for sure is that we can only know whether that guy or girl is good with words or not...that's all.

In them first world countries, people get to know others that they are interested in better by going on dates. In fact, they are willing to go on many dates because to them, building a relationship with that special person is a process of trial and error which takes more than just once or twice. They need to kiss lots of frogs before finding the prince. To them, by going on dates, they can get to know the other person outside the responsibilities that are clutching them when you see them everyday at school or college. Because outside of these responsibilities, they will not try as hard as they were to act good, be nice, or be a saint because they felt that this is their time, their space, their rewards and they will use it their way.

They go on first dates. And if they like how their partners looked on the inside, they will be a second date. And things will move forward from then onwards if things are turning to be positive. And if the other partner decides to act like a person he or she is not, as we all know, these people might as well just bloody rot in hell.

Personally, I think that this is the utter most ideal way, or should I say, Idealest...UP HIGH STINSON, for a person to build new relationships, if not serious ones. Because this way, one can see their partners in more ways than one. One can view their partners in many angles as much as them handphones, myspace, or even yahoo messengers could only possibly do...but by going on dates, yeah, the angle is infinite. Am I sounding dirty on something...haha.

And furthermore, people who are serious about relationships care about this little thing I call I-Love-You-ginity. To these people, this thing is like their virginity. They can only lose it once. Because of this, they want it to be really, really, really meaningful and the person that will be receiving it, is one heck of a lucky fella. But for virginity, once you decided that you want to put a hole on someone, or let it be drilled by someone, whether you mean it or not, you will lose it forever. FIST BUMP STINSON...

I once asked my friend a question. I asked him that you said I LOVE YOU to this particular girl, many times, and because we are humans and we can't see the future, let's just say that if one day you two are to break up due to some unknown reason, what is the worth of I LOVE YOU to the new girl some 3 months, 5 months, 1 year, or even 5 years later? The dude is my I won't humiliate at least...haha.

And words like BOYFRIENDS and GIRLFRIENDS mean something to these people too. They will not go on a first or second date and call each other their BFs or GFs soon after that.

But dude, the things that you are saying, those are for couples that are serious, that actually wanna get married to each other you say? And besides, you're not even in any relationship, what makes you think that you can give us lessons on relationships. Well, if that's the case, all I'm saying, view that three sacred words from a different view from now on. Or tone it done or something. The rights to date someone is totally yours, the rights to like someone is totally yours, I respect that. That is why I never told anyone of you to not like someone or not to go on dates. Most of my friends are either still in school, college, as old as me, or if older, would be at around 20 or 21, I'm just saying you guys should just tone it down a bit...the I love you part. Because people like me are a little bit offended if you guys keep on changing partners like changing I wish those people can get AIDS or something...haha.

People, I might be a pessimistic, narcissistic, sarcastic, pathetic reason of a human being. But this human being still believes that love, true love is out there somewhere. In a place where it is surrounded by a tall brick wall, with sentries and dogs guarding and a mote surrounding it with alligators, crocodiles, and piranhas in it... =_=' A rare, miraculous natural phenomenon that occurs only when it receives orders from God personally to do so. A hypocritical romantic perhaps? Well, each and every one of us is a hypocrite so yeah, it's not too bad to be called a hypocritical romantic...or should I say hypomantical....yeah...totally nailed it...HIGH FIVE!!!

Readers, all I'm saying, there will constantly be people looking at those couples who are being soooooo bloody happy in front of everyone else with the green-eyed monster as their friend. They are at wits end thinking how on earth does this dude keep on changing partners..changing soul mates...changing the love of their life at a weekly or months basis. These people are the ones that should be given a chance to be with the partners or their friends, because they view love as something sacred and godsend. But because life ain't perfect, and that badass brick wall with sentries, dogs, crocodiles, and piranhas still guarding this little thing called love, and it have not received personal orders from God Himself to roll out, yeah, these people can only fantasize and hope something good will happen to them...eventually. haha...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 21st blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Who bloody says that size doesn't matter, is a freaking bloody asshole...haha. you guys may get some clue on what this following blog entry might be about, yes, it is, it's about size. Physical size in general and my physical size to be precise..haha. Oh, and I'm writing this particular entry because I saw many people out there, that had this same problem as me, but are powerless to voice out their opinion and rights. I'm trying to help out my fellow brothers and sisters... And I wanna see how many girls will eventually change their view on me after reading this particular entry....(fingers crossed) haha...

Anyway, if some of you guys, not the ones that I'd met, want to picture out on how I looked like...roughly, well, the first thing that I'm most proud of is my height. Imagine me being in the following information first...

I stand at a centimetre ruling of...

wait for it...


wait for it...


still not enough hype....


a little bit more...



this is gonna be legendary....



180cm!!!! HAHAHA...

I'm proud to say that I'm one of them few Malaysians left in this WORLD that actually reached that milestone height of 180cm because frankly speaking....most Malaysian men are short. And seriously, in Europe, 180cm is like the minimum height you need to be in order to pick up chicks in bars....kening2 ^_^ haha...


And now, let's move on to the physical side of my story that I'm not too comfortable weight. I now weigh in at a kilogram measurement of....

wait for it...


wait for it...


a little bit more...


102kg!!!! hahahaha...haha...ha..h..ah...ha...

I guess the combination of Javanese genes from my mom's side of the family, and my dad's genes, which came from somewhere up north, results in this bloody huge guy named Aiman Aqeem Toreq...or better still, Aiman Toreq...haha.

BUT!!!! Before you close your eyes in disbelief and horror, I need to remind you that I was 123kg like some 5 years ago...back in form 1...waduh...THE HORROR!!! haha.. Aiyo, before this, I was pretty ashamed to let my friends know that I actually hit that dreaded 3 figures mark in the weight department...but after watching House, I must say that, sometimes, you really need to be able to laugh at yourself with other people so that you won't take all things too seriously.

Don't get me wrong...being overweight is a bad thing; you need to wear extra big clothes, extra big pants, extra big shoes, extra big underwears, control your eating in which is a bloody hard thing to do, and the worst thing that can happen, is that people making jokes about you. And I'm still facing the problems of a person that is overweight because the fact still remains that...I'm overweight...

I was pretty stressed out back in my younger years but after learning the fact that if you make jokes about yourself first and better than anyone else can do it, and people actually laughed along with you, people tend to think that you're funny, approachable, and to a certain extend, quite intelligent. I still remembered that when guys make fun of my weight, I'll say things like:

"Tayar pancit? Bocor la sengal..."

"Kete ni senget? Ye ar...aku turun sekarang...jalan kaki balik..."

"Nope....I didn't do anything.." (When the KTM train stopped or turned abruptly)

"Teet teeet teeet...overload.." (When entering a tuna can-like lift)

"Ye ye...aku makan besi angkat telo..."

"Wey...jalan pelan sikit....aku lapar ni...."

And when girls, some of them open-minded ones that actually do commented on my weight, I'll say things like:

"Geli konon...tau ar ko suke...."

" time, aku pakai baju yang ketat-ketat cam korangnyer..."

"Wey...aku ade spare tyre tau if the car broke down or anything..."

"Gelak2...makan kang..."

and my favourite...

wait for it...


wait for it....


"Bising ar ko...malam tadi tak banyak bunyi pon...." ^_^ Get it? haha...

I still feel kinda upset and stressed out when people makes fun about my weight, but hey, at least I know how to improvise and make it less hurtful. Apparently, no matter what people say about not to give a damn on what others think about you, TRUST ME, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GIVE A DAMN because first, you live in this place call society. Second, body chemicals that will constantly effect your body, emotions, and mind. And lastly, humans tend to be insecure. guys must admit that a 20 kg drop in my weight is a pretty cool achivement. I still have that very, very, very old spare tyre that had been with me for a bloody long time, but at least the spare tyre is slowly and steadily getting smaller right? haha...gelak2...makan kang...

In the end of the day, I'm just saying that to the ones that actually made fun of me, with or without me noticing, with them fat jokes and everything, you guys just keep in mind that it is possible for ANYONE to lose weight....but NOT EVERYONE, in particular Malaysians, can actually reach that 180cm mark.

And remember, with the constant advancement in medical science and plastic surgery technology, in the future, they are bound to be more than one way for me to lose weight the easy way. Liposuction, sauna, gastric bypass, pills, drinks, and them exercise machines that helped you to lose weight even without you noticing are the techonologies that existed today are bound to be more advanced in the future. I lost 20 kg the hard way...imagine what will happen when I eventually do embrace the easy way of losing weight....yeah...I word...LEGENDARY!!! haha..

But what about height enhancement technologies you ask? Oh...yes, first, you have this surgery where the doctor put in a spare metal section into your spine to make you have an extra spine column in order for you to grow an inch taller. Next you'll have the treatment in which they split your tibia into two, and then they'll screw the two section up with an iron bar. Lastly, my favourite. They'll make you go through this radiation treatment to your head in which they'll enlarge your skull, making your head bigger, thus making you look tall with a bigger head...

I have witnessed their capacity for insolence, we are indeed worlds apart, but not like us, there's little to them than just being skin deep. I am Aiman Toreq, and I send this message to any other pugilist out there that are feeling down, lonely, and on the verge of giving up: Don't give in, because if you do, it proves that they are right and what you had been fighting for all these while, are worthless, stupid, and crap.

Recognise that? haha.... It's from a movie...which I'd done a little bit of improvising of course..

Oh, before I forget, to the people that do accepted me for how I actually looked like on the inside, and managed to see through and get pass this 180cm and 102kg frame that so many people find so bloody intimidating about, in particular to them girls, from the deepest of this shallow heart of mine, God bless you...and thank you.

Anyway, to them pretty people that constantly think that they're better than anyone else under the false pretense that their physical appearance is the ideal model for everyone else to follow, thus giving them this illusion that they can give out shameful, hurtful, and shallow remarks about the physical being of others that are not similiar to them, to me, yeah, you guys can do that. I'm ok with that. Because it's your right, it's your mouth, and there's no legal constraint that are present to deny you of that right. I can only peacefuly retaliate by improvising things or to write blog entries about this....haha..

But I'm just saying, this treatment that you guys are shoving to our faces with, maybe, just maybe, someday, it will happen back to one of your family members... Your brother perhaps...sister, mother, father, uncle, grandparents, kids, aunts, nieces or maybe your decendants 1000 years from now...who knows... My point is that, someday, when this shit do eventually happen to people that are connected to you, people that you actually care about, I just hope that you guys too would peacefully retaliate by improvising things or write blog entries....haha..

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 20th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.