Thursday, February 26, 2009

African body builders, little elephant, BIG SAUSAGE INCIDENT and my first outing with my college friends...

So, this is my first blog entry since moving into my new environment. I must say that I am sorry for not entering new ones for the last few days as I was so bloody busy. Anyway, today, was the day that me and my other mates that were from the same orientation class to have our first outing together. 

The bus will move at about 9 a.m so I arrive at the orientation hall at about 8.50. After filling up some forms, I then sat down with my original CHINESE FRIENDS, THAT'S ALL THE WAY FROM MAINLAND CHINA!!!!

Sorry la my chinese friends from JESS...these guys are REAL CHINESE. ORI...haha.. We talked about many things. From Starcraft to Warcraft and of course..DOTA..haha. We talked mainly about computer games rather than anything else...

So, after getting a little bit bored  with my Eastern friends, I set my sight to my brothers from AFRICA!!!

I feel so bloody small you know..haha. Anyway, we chilled, we talked, as if we'd already known each other for a long time...maybe it's down to my nigger-ish roots. Oooppps, I shouldn't say the n-word...damn!!!

If only ma hair was little, from this picture looking on, I swear to you that I'm one of them...haha..

So, at about 9.30, 30 bloody minutes late, only then did the organisers decided to move and start our journey to Port Dickson. While riding in the bus, I chilled with my Chinese friends, and when I'm bored, I moved to my African friends. Don't know why but I feel like I'm a minority in that bus... =_='

After we arrived at the beach, at around 11.30, I first checked out the beach and a suitable place to put my stuffs. After finding a good place, I put down my stuffs, changed my clothes, and ran right on down to the water!!! And like a big bloody rock, after jumping into the sea, I sank all the way to the bottom. When I get my head out from the deep, I felt this bloody taste in my tounge that THE SEA IS SO FREAKING BLOODY SALTY!!!!! Maybe it was because of me who hadn't went to the beach for decades but when this homie of mines, I.B, jump into the water,

"This shitty sea is fucking salty!!!" he said to me. =_=' I guess seawater in Nigeria taste like chicken huh? haha...

I then went on a banana boat ride with both of my friends of different skin tone. It was my first so I was expecting a lot from it. But, as the ride went on, it turned out pretty boring and the only fun part was when the boat made a 90 degree turn and we all fell into the water. I swear to God that someone took the chance to kick me in the head while I was still submerged...=_='

Back on dry land, after cleaning myself, and of course after changing my clothes, I sat down with my chinese friends at a nearby stall to have our lunch. Oh, and the most interesting thing that happened was that while I was changing my clothes, inside those public toilets and changing rooms,  one of my chinese friend decided to like go bloody naked and bare everything to us. 

"Kepala buto mak dia..." I told myself. Luckily, he covered only his southern part, in front of course, with his hands while leaving his freaking Mainland China ass open and vulnerable to everyone. The other guys changing there were like,

"What the fuck?" haha.

"His dick is still in elephant form!!!" Abdu, from Zimbabwe told me while urging me to look at the thing that he was paying so much attention to. 

"I want to eat later motherfuck!!!" I told him, while keeping my voice as low as possible as my naked chinese friend was like a few feet behind me. =_='

While that little show was still on, I kept my view away from that spawn of Satan and looked around as I noticed that all these African friends of mine, ARE FREAKING BLOODY BODYBUILDERS!!!! Well, almost all of them. 

"I bet yours is like a freaking 100 foot long sausage huh?" I told I.B, whose body was like as tough as hell, with a little smurk in my face and pointing to his southern region. What was about to happen next is something that I'll never forget in my whole bloody life!!!

He pulled the front of his shorts with his right hand, took his left hand and put it on my head, turn my head towards that part that he want to show me and said in a very cool tone,

"You mean this? Nah, it's nothing..."

I was like.....stunned...speechless....amazed....bewildered...and confused on how could such a thing grew so bloody long and so bloody big. I will forever see sausages in a new light from now on....damn...

After that little, or should I say BIG accident, I quickly moved away from that dreaded place and out to the open beach to get a big chunck of fresh air back into my already confused brain. I'm still finding the logic on how that thing could grow to such a size!!!! damn it...

After having our lunch, with of course I.B next to me =_=', we then chilled by the beach to wait until 3 because that's the time that we'll be going back. We talked about some stuffs about their country, about Malaysia, about Malaysian food, about Malaysian chicks and all those manly stuffs that we men often chat about.

"Dude, that girl, is she married?" Ahmed, from Nigeria asked me refeering to a girl whose sitting on a bench along with her friends.

"Oooo, I understand. Ok, we never had this conversation ok?" I joked back at him while giving him a little smug in my face.

"No, no. I'm just asking. I wanna take a picture with her but she says she can't do that" He told me about what had happened earlier.

"In fact Ahmed, I'M HIS HUSBAND!!!" I answered while still joking and messing around with him.

"How am I supposed to bloody know if she's married or not." I tell him.

"Oh...." was Ahmed's response.

Haha...pity him. Only just 4 days in Malaysia but had already fallen in love...celaka...haha..

Anyway, when the time reached 3 and we all made our way back to the bus. We then continue our journey back to the college on that bus, raining, and this annoying Iraqi man who kept on taking pictures of everyone who were sleeping. I was sleeping so he showed me no mercy...haha. But I guess being friendly ain't a bad thing...

Looking back, it'd really been quite a day for me. From that HUGE SAUSAGE INCIDENT to looking my African brothers eating Malay food.. =_=' haha..they're were sewating like hell. Oh, the downside is that those African chicks, decided NOT to jump into the water....DAMN!!!!

So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. My first ever 5th blog entry in my life is already finished..haha...

Friday, February 20, 2009

Nursyahirah Fatimi, Lagenda College, Raja Asyaari, Accidents, Wan Ahmad Fathizuddin and Qoqo Qrunch...

You know what man? I think I got some good shit that I need to share with my fellow homies out there. For today's dose of AAT dope, I'm ma start my crap from last night where I got this lil nigger of mine, Wan Ahmad Fathizuddin. You know this lil punk ass bitch, I don't know whether's he's high on some shit or something, but holmes, this shit, man, I kinda think that he got some shit going down with my dope. Especially with that girl I talked about earlier, Nursyahirah Fatimi. He was so freaking high that he thought that I was shitting around with my blog!!! I'm ma shove this AK-47 into your ass bitch!!! So, if you still got shit with my dope, we settle it tomorrow, at the mamak hood I told him. And he gonna give me this sms shit at around 7 whether he'll show his punk ass face but he forgot to bring along his balls! HAHA!!! Like he freaking have one... So, to all haters out there, better don't shit around with this fool cause I'm ma do a drive by to pop your sorry ass with MY BULLETPROOF ESCALADE!!!! 

Around 9, me and ma momma, man I love her, went to Mantin with our big ass Fortuner to settle some shit with those college fools that I'll be going to. We got our asses stuck in that ride for about 45 minutes cause ma momma got lost and confused with the way going to the college. I ain't giving much shit with that because I was high with mh NDS dope. Damn it homies, that shit was way better than some crack or women!!! DAMN!

Inside the college, my momma get down with her business!!! She freaking shove some shit up some people's mouth, do a 1-9er to some shit and we got the shit finish around 12.30.I gotta tell ma homies, this shit is some nice dope dawg!!! It was even bigger than ma bullet prove ESCALADE!!! This place got lots of foreign shits, and most of them niggers too. And I'm ma tell ya, those niggers, especially bitches, have some of the finest ass I ever seen man!!! Oooooeeeii!! Who needs Malay asses when I can get my hands on black asses all day long right!!!?? DAMN!!!

At around 3.30, my other nigger, Raja, ym me and tell me stuffs about some shit. After the conversation was over, I asked him, with a .5 at the side of his head, whether I can smoke some crack or whip some ass at his hood. He said yes,I rushed my ass onto my BULLETPROOF ESCALADE and together we ride on the road to his hood. Along the way, I managed to bang some pretty nice asses though...oooooeeeeii!!!

In his hood, yeah I smoked some crack and whipped some asses but the shit was not quite happening though. I left the shit and head on to the this shit called Warta where pimps and whores are plenty. Arriving there with my BULLETPROOF ESCALADE, I did a few drive bys to pop the asses of my competitions. After buying some new crack, I went back to my hood with my BULLETPROOF ESCALADE while shooting some people on the way back. 

On this last stretch of road, I was cruising, I was riding with my BULLETPROOF ESCALADE while suddenly, this dumbass driver in front of me pulled the brakes. I got off my BULLETPROOF ESCALADE with two MP5s on my hands, opened the bitch's dumbass doors and empty my rounds up her sorry ass. I opened the shit's gas input and put in a piece of the bitch's shirt that I just ripped off. I set it on flames and took the remaining 50$ from the bitch's car. I slowly walked back to my BULLETPROOF ESCALADE when the bitch's car went BOOM! MAN THAT SHIT FEELS GOOD!!!!!!

I then went to the morning's mamak crib to use the 50$ I just got from the bitch I just burnt. I asked for a few cans of beers but that stupid ass bitch took such a long time that after receiving my shit, I took out one MP5, reloaded, and empty the round up the fool's sorry ass. DAMN I FEEL DESTRUCTIVE TODAY!!!

I also received a call from the punk ass bitch I mentioned earlier, Fathi, about smoking some new crack with his new niggers at this shit called Alamanda. I said no problems cause all my cracks at home are kinda shitty. Around 8, I got the bitch's sms saying sorry about tonight's shit... SORRY!!!??? Man I was sooo pissed off I gave my crew orders to take him out. My crew made me proud by taking that punk ass bitch with a drive by, HOW I ALWAYS LIKE IT!!! These niggers of mine gonna get some new shit tonight!!!!


Haha...guys, chill... Just trying out new ways to write my 4th blog entry. You guys must be honoured to have read a black man's blog!!! haha...

So there you have it, with that ladies and gentlemen, I finished my first ever 4th blog entry of my life!!! haha...

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Hamko Hamise Chura Lo, Knocking On Heaven's Door, DOTA, Crashes, and Amirah Syamimi.....

"Aiman!!! BANGUN!!! DAH PUKUL 6!!! Nanti terlepas Subuh!!!" My mom filled my early seconds of today with shrieks coming from a harpy...and it's 6...damn... =_=' Some way, somehow, I managed to get this big butt of mine off the ground, and put aside that custom made alarm clock, I forced myself to enter the bathroom with possibly memories of the route to my toilet guiding me as my eyes were still shut tight due to me sleeping late last night. 

I then went to the mamak stall, next to Bangi Perdana's 7 Eleven to have my breakfast.(Free advertisement...haha...) I then of course ordered 2 roti telur and 2 milo ais to satisfy my hunger. (Don't bloody act like you just bloody know me... =_=') As I was eating, I noticed this one fine teenage girl in her school uniform seating directly in front of me, on another table of course. Judging by her height, breast size, width of her thigh, her body curvature, and any other secondary sexual characteristics I observed, I must say that she's probably around form 4 or 5. And her name was Nursyahirah Fatimi. WOW...Syahirah....Fatimi...cair I beb...

I'm not a bloody freaking sex offender or child molester if that is what you are bloody thinking right now!!! A fine female specimen was sitting right in front of me eating, doing her stuffs, using her godsend natural gift to her advantage and how do you expect me, a normal young man, with tons of raging yet unused, reactive, volatile, unstable and mercurial male hormones to react normally other than to observe her carefully, thoroughly, meticulously, comprehensively, and taking every possible notes about her?  And I'm mentally fine too thank you for asking...haha... 

So, slowly, I brought out my phone, played Ukay's Disana Menanti Disini Menunggu on 50% loudness, put it on the table and continue eating. I observed her reactions when I think that she ain't looking. Kira tengah nak act cool la ni..haha... TAPI!!!! Boleh lak masa tengah2 makan, dapat message celaka dari Hotlink about buying rm10 worth of top-up at the cost of rm5. And for those who know me, you guys know la kan ringtone I...hindustan, bukan maen kuat lak tu...memang celaka...satu restoran dengar....******!!!!!! Dia pun terkejut, terpandang kat I, dan tersengih-sengih.... I pun wave la tangan kat dia...buat2 malu... Memang ****** betul hotlink ni...*****!!!! There's more!!! Kedai maple tu ngan my family are like homies...nak apa, ambik, tulis kat bill....pergh..ada bill beb... Anyway, the thing that was pathetic is that this bloody indian, yg baru keje tu, came near me, MINTAK BLUETOOTH RINGTONE TU!!!!! =_=' Celaka kan!!??
I pun bagi jer la kat dia....****!!!!!

Anyway, after eating, I went back home to play Valkryie Profile 2 on the beb...level 20!!! haha... Around 1, I went to take my bro back from school. After doing so, I chilled downstairs while cooking burger fillets for my bro. At the age of 11, he was already as high as my armpit. I memang mengharapkan sangat2 so that he won't be bigger than me...kalo tidak, HE CAN BLOODY BULLY ME AROUND!!! Anyway, time masak tu, my phone was playing Guns and Roses's Knocking On Heaven's Door. At this particular time, I remembered that traumatic 17th February...the day where I was involved in my third accident. I was thinking, thank Lord Almighty that there were no cars on the opposite side of the road. Katakanlah if got a big ass lorry, time I jatuh...damn....hmmm... And when I was eating my burger, I got this message from my wife, saying that she was involved in a hit and run. Baru semalam cakap kat blog yang ajis ni memang akan one day run over something or kill someone while driving his car...tengok2, harini accident...=_=' Worried memang worried, but thank God no one got injured... Good luck mate with explaining things to your parents...haha...

Anyway, around 2.30, I need to send my little bro to sekolah agama. After that, on my way back home, I came across a few friends of mine that asked me to go play dota along with them. Although unwillingly, I followed them because frankly speaking, I got nothing to do at home and I do kinda need to brush up on my dota-ing skills because it's like 2 months since I last played a competitive match. Besides, I thought that these friends of mine were noobs, because I played against them before...but am I in for a surprise...haha.. So, at first,  it was supposed to be a 3V3 battle. But my teammate got to go home suddenly, so, it was now 3V2. I choosed my favourite character, PHANTOM LANCER!!! I thought it was going to be a fairly easy match, but in the end, THEY WERE ALL BEYOND GODLIKES!!!!!!! =_=' I thought to myself that I really need to get my acts together again by training harder!!!...damn...DAMN!!!!

So, around 6 in the evening, I began writing this blog. While writing, I pun decided to tegur Amirah Syamimi ni... So, bla, bla, bla, I pun ayat la dia...nak ajak dia buat blog.  I managed convince her to try bloging and walah!!! This is the result... and I'm recognised as her number 1 fan!!!!!!! WOOO!!!! And furthermore, I got a bloody new pet name, first it was toto, yep, as in sports toto =_=' but then changed to Qoqo when I told her that Toreq is my father's name. Seriously, why do everybody thinks that Toreq is part of my name!!!??? Tu nama orang lama!!! Orang dahulu!!!! Orang yang layan rock2 kapak, rock jiwang!!! Orang yg keturunan Thai!!!! Haha..I told her that it was cool but she insisted on changing my pet name from Toto to Qoqo, as in Aqeem, yes, Qoqo... =_=' Layan jer la...

So, I guess that this is it for today's blog. Again I wanna congratulate my idol, Amirah Syamimi for completing her first blog...and also to Ajis, my wife, paham2 jer la.... 

With that ladies and gentlemen, I finished my first ever 3rd blog of my life...haha...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Whose Line, Collin, Alang, Shima, Battle Gear karaoke and light at the end of the tunnel...

It would take quite an effort for me to get through the trauma of yesterday, but someway, somehow, I managed to put yesterday's experience past me and slept through a pretty painful night with my freaking bloody ankle, and also my bloody left elbow.

So today, when I woke up, somehow, I got this little urge to watch Andrey Arshavin's video at Youtube. I wasn't really hyped up with his arrival at Arsenal, but after watching this particular video,, I must say that I was pretty impressed with this guy. So Arshavin, and together with Eduardo, you two will spark the Arsenal revival!!! Haha...

So, around 11, I went to JESS to take my SPM trial result copy because my mom said that the college group wanted it for my MARA screening tomorrow. So, I bring along my uncle, who will be going back to kampung later, to like pressurise the teachers and staffs there to bloody give him the bloody copy as fast as possible because the ast time I went there, this person told me to go to this bloody place to meet this teacher, this teacher then told me to wait for like a bloody 15 minutes before refeering me to another teacher, and finally this teacher told me that the person I'm looking for is out...gila celaka... So, with my uncle doing the job, I was really surprised that he managed to get the job done for like a mere 10 minutes....compared to my 2 hours, and not even completing it!!!!  =_=' 

After that, I was back at home again enjoying whose line at Youtube. I stumbled upon this bloody great video that I wanna share with you that made my heart stop functioning, my veins bursting, my spleen breaking is this bloody video!!! DAMN IT COLLIN!!!! LOL!!!

That and when suddenly I received a message from Azlan Husaini, challenging me and my girlfriend, Zafril Amzar B. Mohd Najib  at Battle Gear in Alamanda. ( Stay away from him girls!!! He's mine!!! ) So I call him up and also my wife, Abdul Aziz B. Abdul Rahman, because I need the ride and he has a Kelisa and eventhough he sometimes drove like a bloody blind and nervous pig with no opposable thumbs to safely grab anything...haha. But still, he's my wife and I love her anyway...haha

So, Ajis came to pick me up at around 12.30 before we eventually moved out at 1.30 because I need to wait for my brother to come home. We then went to Zafril's house where when I reached there, I was soooooooooo bloody surprised to see Faris Syahin and Shima to be there. What would be more of a shocking revelation is to be revealed...hehe..

Anyway, so there we were, cramped into that small Kelisa, with a barely legal driver on the wheel. With Ajis's driving skills, sometimes I swear to God that he will eventually run over something or kill someone. With me playing my NDS, and with 30 minutes gone, yes, 30 minutes, tell me about it, we finally reached our destination. =_='

Must I remind those who are reading this that I'm walking around Alamanda with a half-functioning left foot, terkenjot-enjot for like 3 hours? haha.. Anyway, while we were in front of Al-Ikhsan when I suddenly saw a sight that I will never forget...FARIS, WHICH I CALL ALANG, IS HOLDING HIS BLOODY HAND WITH SHIMA'S BLOODY HAND!!!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though I was shocked, bewildered, puzzeled, speechless, thunderstruck, flabbergasted, and all other synonyms you can find to describe that  particular feeling at that particular time, I finally realised that my Alang is now a man... Teringat lagi dulu yang dia cakap dia x penah tipu mak dia, yang dia x penah pukul orang, yang dia x penah marah orang, yang pompuan x menggelikan...haha, yeah, you go holmes. Tak pe, kita tengok sape yg kawen lu, correct Zafril?

Anyway, when we finally reached the arcade, I went on a test drive before my opponents arrived. Without doubt, I totally own my competition before Hakim, Azlan, and Adlan appeared before me. To tell you the truth, I was quite eager to see how good they were. With each and everyone of us on our resective car, we went like for a bloody 9 rounds before calling it quits to take a rest. That's 9 bllody ringgit splashed out on a mere dangerous driving simulation machine...haha. Well, diorang ni memang poyo jer lebih...boleh tahan ar beb. Tapi x lah sehebat yang diorang hyped about...ceh...haha... Out of the 9, I came in 1st once and 2nd for the rest... But I must say that they're quite skillful...respect you guys...

Moving on, after a brief trip back to my home, with only me and Ajis, because I need to get some emergency stuffs done. After that little detour settled, me and Ajis went back to Alamanda to continue our day. Once we arrived back at Alamanda, I was pretty disappointed with the fact that Azlan, Hakim, and Adlan were already on their way back home. Put that disappoinment aside, suddenly, I got this freaking idea of...WHY DON'T WE GO KARAOKE GUYS!!?? A few of my mates were shocked, but after a little bit of brushing up with my persevering skills and finally managed to get them to join.

So, at the Superstar Karaoke box, we were hit by an early setback with a pretty high rate. So, to make ends meet, Shima and Alang decided to bow out, choosing moving around romantically around Alamanda together, ceh, rather than singing with us. So, it's me, my girlfriend and my wife, singing a total of 10 songs in our room. Orang ingat gay threesome beb...haha

Here's a list of what we all sang:

Ajis: Sweet Child of Mine-Guns and Roses
         I Don't Love You-MCR

Zafril: Rolling-Limp Bizkit
            All The Things That I've Done-The Killers
           Sugar We Going Down-Fall Out Boys

Me: You Give Love A Bad Name-Bon Jovi
        Taman Rashidah Utama-Wings
        Ku Dihalaman Rindu-Lefthanded
        Kekasihku Di Menara-Ukays

Untuk Ajis, suara memang comel giler time...haha. For Zafril, menjerit cam ****** jer keje, ****!!!! But for me, suara memang x sedap, nyanyi lagu2 jiwang lak tu...kesian kan...tu ar, badan jer besar, tapi layan gak jiwang...tidak salah lelaki menangis...

Anyway, about 6, we finally went out to of the there and make out way to Burger King. Macam biasa, keje I memang mengepau so yang kene memang ajis and zafril...haha. Sikit jer kot...but sumpah I thought that Ajis macam x puas hati...

Anyway, we then went back to the car, now parked outside of Alamanda. Baek2 keluar jer exit kat Carrefour, nampak polis. At that pasticular time, thank Lord Almighty that Ajis is already in his car waiting... Kalo x, haha...memang kene bantai si botak tu kat umah...

Anyway, when he found out that there were cops, abis menggelabah dia... He was sooo bloody nervous that if the cops actually paid a little bit more attention to the car, Ajis will definitely be in a very big trouble...tu pun lagi sikit nak accident depan polis...haha. Memang bertuah anak Abdul Rahman ni..

So, on the way back, as usuall, we need to endure to almost 40 minutes of madness with my wife on the wheel... Sumpah, nak naek ngan ajis ni, memang kene tulis wasiat lu... =_=' Furthermore, I'm sitting up front, next to him, and everytime that bloody meter went more than 50km/h, some unknown obstacle is on the road, or he's a little bit late of breaking, I completely froze myself, my body went stiff, my heart skipped a beat, my eyes missed a blink, and my hair were raising.... Sumpah memang celaka, I have one hand on the grabbing handle and one hand on the handbrake...=_=' Imagine my fear, my dread, with his driving at that particulat time...

Anyway, we first dropped off Shima near her house, and than Alang at J3 secondary because he parked his bike there, and lastly, to Zafril's house. After dropping me at my house, Ajis continue his trip home and I arrived home safe and sound, and yes, still in one peace. During the stairs up to my room, I felt a certain glitch in my left ankle. Damn, it was painful, and I was like screaming. My mom went out of her room and said: "Ye!!! Aiman? Jatuh tangga ke??" =_=' Moms, mesti nak fikir yang paling buruk kan...haha..

So, when I was in my room, after taking my bath, I received a message from my ex, Wan Ahmad Fathizudin B. Wan Jamaluddin, that's a mouthful, through ym about my first blog, how bloody cold-hearted he was, and finally, the main purpose of him ym-ing me is that he wanna ask me whether he can ride with me to Hot Station so that we can get our new football jersey because his scooter, EGO, ceh, is broken... I said yes, what can I do right, and we went there at about 9.40.

I was pretty amazed with the quality of my jersey, the best that I'd ever owned, and also because the thing behind it spells...


Oh, and while I was at Hot Station, my cousin, Fatin, all the way from Ayer Hitam, Johor, gave me a sudden call...I was quite shocked, but because she said she got an all day's worth of free calls....I pretty much get the point. Haha...after grabbing something to eat, I went home and finish this blog. I must say that in order to blog, finish it, or even start one, one should never try to rush things as it will diminish the quality of the blog. I am sorry if the qulity of this one is a little low for those who are reading it...I'll try my best to not rush things tomorrow...

Anyway, with or without me noticing it, poof, just like that, my day after that traumatic 17th of February 2009, turned out to be quite a good one. And i think I kinda like this whole online story-sharing thing. Oh, and to Alang and Shima, x pe, kalo korang x kawen, siap korang... Oh, and to my other girlfriend, Amirul Hafiz, soooo sorry sebab x ajak...I thought you were busy, with your college thing...sorry tau... 

So, there you have it ladies and gentlemen, my first ever second blog of my life...haha...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Toreq's son darkest hour

Wow, here I am, with my very first blog. I thought that I will never get myself entangled in the web of online story-sharing but I guess they'll always be the first time for everything...

Moving on, as the title suggests it, 17th February 2009 could be the darkest day ever in my life. I thought that I could be too critical with myself as I only lived for like 17 years+, but frankly speaking, I do think that this sort of days, if I would ever come across again in the future, could not be much more worse than this...I sure do hope so...

To kick things off, due to me worrying that I will wake up late for my very big day on the 17th of February, which will be me taking my JPJ road exam, I decided at around 1 a.m. that I will not sleep until the next day. I'm ok with that because I tried to resist the temptation for 2 straight days and succeeded.(For those who are weak at body and soul, better not try it) Furthermore, at 3.40 a.m, my favourite football team, Arsenal FC will have it's FA Cup replay against Cardiff at the Emirates Stadium after being postponed a forthnight ago due to bad wheather. 

So I killed time by repeatingly played my NDS, Mobsters, Speed Racing, and Overdrive on MySpace, and watched clips from Whose Line Is It Anyway on Youtube. I bloody laughed out loud all by myself many times in the middle of the night before so I guess that for anyone of my neighbours that were still awake, I think they knew that it was me laughing my trademark laugh. (Ask Amir Fitri about it, he got a bloody vendeta against my laughter.. =_=') It turned out to be a pretty good decision because at that game, Eduardo, which is the club's striker that suffered a full leg-break last season ( for those who want to see and feel it) made his first start after being out for a year scored two fantastic goals that helped to secure Arsenal's place in the next round.

After the game, I chat with two of my old crushes...yes..two...(Stop thinking that a big guy could not have a past romantic life) They do remind me of my past that was so...pathetic...haha.. Anyway, around 7.30, I went to my girlfriend's house, Zafril Amzar, so that we could sit together on my motorbike with his arm around my waist and we cruising past the morning dew around Bangi Lama...haha... After receiving our blue cards from Mazris, we went to the Cemerlang Driving Centre to take our respective JPJ test. Mine's was in the evening, but because I had futsal at 11 with Ihsan Aminuddin, I asked that aunty at Mazris whether I can bring it to the morning session and without any doubt whatsoever, SHE BLOODY SAID YES!!!! 

After arriving at the driving centre, I saw a few of my friends that will also seat on the penultimate Kancil seat and be judged whether to bath in the glory and joy of passing the exam or suffer the dismay, purgatorical consequences of FAILING. We then stood behind this bloody long line just to get a bloody number. When it was my turn, everything went smooth until that JPJ chick said "Oh minta maaf encik, sesi encik adalah di sebelah petang. Encik tidak boleh memindahkannya ke sesi pagi kerana sekarang pun ada banyak orang yang sedang menunggu giliran mereka"

After giving her one last dismay look and hoping for a miracle, I turned around and told myself "Kepala P***** dia la. B*** apa x leh. Abis tadi yang kat Mazris cakap boleh tu apa CELAKA!!!" I headed to my bike, leaving my girlfriend alone, and headed back to my house because futsal will start in 2 more hours. Oh, I also saw Tam Ai May, whose looking sooo bloody cute with that purple stripe outfit and of course the ever so good-looking Syadza...ergh...I drool everytime I am in her presence...haha...

Fast forward to futsal, hmmmm, I must admit that I had played better matches so this one is pretty forgettable. And we were playing against Ihsan Tusirin's team, which is like a bloody professional futsal team because we got hamered bad. And the son of Aminuddin told me that it will all be fine because it is only a friendly. There were two events that had happened that had greatly influenced my day. One is a tackle from the opposing player that bended my left ankle pretty much like the Eduardo's leg-break. But I managed to pull out in time and just suffered a little glitch in my ankle. And he bloody moved on like nothing happened. From that moment onward, I started to get this feeling that something bad is going to happen. My early paranoia came true as I was chasing for the ball, somehow, I managed to land awkwardly on my left ankle  and twisted my ankle. The sad part is that no one was near me and I did this to myself... =_=' BUT THE BLOODY PATHETIC PART IS THAT THESE SO CALLED FRIENDS OF MINE, COULD LAUGH AT ME....damn...tau2 jer la sape yg terasa tu...

I went back home, with a half-broken ankle, feeling a little bit sad and frustrated to what my so called friends done to me...but hey, who am I to complain right? Let's just hope that these people won't get into a bloody car accident with me being right on the spot laughing back at them...damn... At home, thank Lord Almighty that my uncle was there playing my PS2...=_=' But, my uncle is pretty good in "mengurut" and "meluruskan urat2 yang telah terpesong" and so I gave him my left ankle for him to wave his magic. And it was a pretty painful session as my uncle waved his magic, I kept on screaming, sometimes laughing, towards the magic that he was putting me through... Some 10 minutes later, I must admit that I can walk with less pain on my left ankle as I slugged through my 5 minutes bath, with all the pain and the screaming...haha..

With my left ankle's performance compromised, I sure do have doubts whether I can change my motor gears and of course, the dreaded Kancil clutch. But I brave through the unknown and uncertainties and made my way, again, to the Cemerlang Driving Centre. During my trip to the centre, I must say that the road was pretty awesome and the feelings of riding it at around 80 km/h with your bike and 40 km/h with Mazris Kancils are two very, very different feelings. 

After arriving at the driving centre, I was made to wait for another 30 minutes when it was finally my turn to ride the dreaded MOUNTAIN OF DOOM!!! I was confident to finally and officially conquer this obstacle that many had failed to do so in the past. So there I go, 10km, 20km, 30km, 40km, when finally I was on top of the mountain. The feeling was great, even though for only a brief second as finally when reality hits me back in the head, my front tyres passed the yellow line and I forgotten to put on the brakes... I flew past the whole thing like a bloody jet plane... At the other side of the mountain, I finally pull the handbrake, put my head on the steering wheel as one JPJ officer came over to congratulate me on my failure. 

"Nasib baek ko ingat tekan break dik...aku takut sampai ke semak ko lupa nak tekan break..."
Those words...those bloody words...will forever ring in my ears till the day I die!!! CELAKA!!!

Down but not out, I managed to conjure my remaining spirit to have a final confrontation with the devil. Apparently, the devil wears Prada as my JPJ officer is a woman. 

"Ceh, hina sangat ke aku harini.." I told myself...

So, I done all the routine 5-point early check. I guess I managed to impress her when I switched off the engine to show that I'm different from the rest...haha.. So, we passed the first obstacle which is the little hill outside Cemerlang with no problems. But I must admit I took my time with that right hand corner out of the hill, probably 5 minutes. Because of me watching too much House, after seeing her being a little bit aggitated by my slow right corner off the hill, instead of trying to please her, I drove at around 40km/h and I can clearly see she being annoyed with each passing second.

Again I took my time at the first traffic light, as slowly as I can be. I moved my eyes a little bit to see her reactions when I think that she was not noticing... So, along the very slow ride, I tried to push the limit of the slowness of the Kancil at the 3rd gear. I think I was moving at around 40 km/h.

"Awak ni bersiar-siar makan angin ke atau sedang periksa JPJ? Saya tengok awak tak penah guna gear 4 pun..." She said suddenly out of the blue breaking the silence inside of that small Kancil car.

After hearing that, I went to change my gear to 4th after rounding the shop lots. I used that gear all the way back to the Cemerlang Driving Centre while going 30km/h. Sometimes even reaching 20 or even 10 just trying to prove a point...haha...

When reaching the final corner before my stop, because my car was in 4th gear and went like 20 km/h, the car went semput and is very close to stalling.

"Tegur sikit jer terus tak nak tukar gear dah...aduhai..." She said without looking at me. I think my effort of trying to annoy her without failing my test was succesful after hearing that remark of hers. I then put on a small grin to signal my victory. 

"Sorry dik, adik gagal sebab kurang cekap mengawal steering kereta, tidak menggunakan gear yang sesuai mengikut kelajuan dan adik drive perlahan sangat yang boleh membawa bahaya kepada pemandu dibelakang. Sign sini dik.." She said to me with no sense of guilt at all shown in her face, somehow proud and arrogant though..

After hearing that, I was shell-shocked. Driving slow is actually bad for someone. With reluctance and a huge sense of being denied of a pass, I forced myself to take the bloody pen and sign my name....

"Terima kasih kak, semoga hidup akak diberkati tuhan...assalamualaikum..." I told her with my voice growing deep full with anger and rage before managed to control it and left the car. 

"Baek-baek tau...dia ni p***** sikit.." I told the other guy waiting outside of the car for his turn.
The guy gave a grin and forced himself to experience the devil himself.

I was so bloody furious by being denied of justice that I quickly limped myself to my bike and ride my way out of the cursed place. Before moving, I played Highway to Hell by ACDC on my phone before putting on my helmet. I must admit that I was riding pretty fast, fueled with my anger, sorrow, and disappoinment, not to mention the song, I was also riding pretty dangerously. I felt nothing of such feelings when I reach the traffic light and gave a sharp left-hand turn into the Akademi Percukaian. I must have missed the bump on the road as I came in cornering at around 50km/h, with such speed, such poor road quality, and of course ACDC's song, my bike went airbourne for a brief moment before came crashing down and skidded half a foot off me. Luckily, the traffic weren't hectic and they managed to stop in time of me came crashing down. 

With Highway to Hell still loud in my ears, and my already twisted ankle being hammered by the weight of my bike, and a bloody huge wound now located on my left elbow, I struggeled, I forced myself to put away the confusion, to conquer the pain, and collect my stuffs, my thoughts and continue on riding with my now injured body, and bike. Thank Lord that there was this one fine soul that helped me up and collect my things before I continue on riding.

I kept on cursing, cursing, cursing, and cursing my bloody luck today and wished for nothing worse that could happen. Suddenly, with the already grey clouds looming over my head, drops of rain begin to fall upon my helmet, my head, my injured body, and of course, my bike. I bloody stopped my bloody bike, open my bloody helmet, and bloody shout....


I almost swear of God that that chain of events almost made me cry..... I took in a long, deep breath before finally start my journey back home again, this time around 40km/h with my already battered bike and wounding body in the deep pouring rain. 

Reaching home, I slowly opened up my shirt and cleaning that nasty wound on my left elbow with running water and lots of cotton sheets. 

While writing this first ever blog or mine, my friend, Syakira, all the way from Johor, seemed to be my only bright light for today's very, very dark day for me. 

And at the end of this blog, I came to notice that there is this one saying that says...


I gave that thought a little laugh because thinking of the things that had happened today, with the above saying, it's pretty ironic how things work out...haha...

So there you have it boys and girls, my first ever blog, about me being rammed with chains of unfortunate events...haha..