Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The reasons to why I celebrate Hari Raya.

Hmmm, it's philosophical alright, the reasons to why we celebrate Hari Raya. I mean, everyone should have their own reasons to why they are looking forward to the particular day, and every single one of them reasons should be different right? With that in mind, it is the thing that had been bugging me all week, to know which one of them many reasons, are the ones that can be considered...logical.

For as long as I can remember, the two main reasons to why I am so eager to celebrate Hari Raya is first money, and then second, the food....yeah, I'm that shallow... Actually, I don't know how to rank these two in terms of which one comes first. Comparing money and's like comparing a threesome and a

Anyway, I'm not talking about them shitty RM1, 2 or if you're lucky RM 5 duit raya...them things are childplay... I'm talking about the motherload...RM100 here, RM200 there, and if you're really, really, really lucky, RM...

wait for it...
a lil bit more hype...
RM 500!!!

I still remember a few years back, on that particular Raya, I made a record high of RM 1000 just from receiving money from grown-ups... Were they feeling somehow obligated to give that much money just to prove a point and to feel good about themselves? I mean like yeah, they do give me money everytime I went back to Kluang, like maybe RM50 and stuffs, but RM500 on a single day? Had they done something terribly wrong that it's worth RM500? But what the heck right, their guilty conscience renovated my pocket to be a little bit more deeper and harder to burn through...haha.

I do think that this reason of mine, is indeed logical simply because to earn some extra cash. But strangely, weirdly, I never knew what happened to all that money though. I was still immature to handle that amount of money at that particular time so my mom, like any other typical, good mothers out there, decided to keep the money for my future's sake....yeah right. haha...

But damn it, this year, I only made....RM 150.


Moving on, second reason is the food. Oh my god, the food, I tell you, it's like tasting a teenie tiny microscopic bit of heaven.

Ketupat=RM 2.80

Sambal kacang= RM 2.00

Rendang daging= RM 4.50

Kuah lodeh (this is what us javanese call it..ala, yang kuah putih tu)= RM 1.50

Combine them all together= PRICELESS.

Am I being too critical here by stating that them raya food are indeed better than sex, drugs, and alcohol COMBINED? No, no...what am I saying. Nothing beats them three...haha.

And dudes, in particular the dudettes, I MAKE MY OWN BLOODY KETUPAT...yeah, as in find the bloody tree where I can get them bloody ketupat leaves, anyam them bloody ketupat leaves to make it all cute and square, and boil them bloody cute ketupats so that I can later fill ma stomach with them. So girls, what do you guys think of me now?

And don't get me started with them kuih-muih. My favourite, them cornflakes with honey holding them little flakes together, sprinkled with sesame seeds and little pieces of fruits. ESTACY!!!

BUT WAIT!!! I discovered a new version, cornflakes with chocolate sauce. That's not the thing that I'm so eager to tell you though, you eat both of these two versions TOGETHER.

The taste?

Haha...anyway, guys, these are the two main reasons to why I celebrate Hari Raya.

But wait, what about them forgiving each other and stuffs you ask?

What about them forging stronger relationships with your relatives and stuffs you ask?

What about them religious side of raya and stuffs you ask?

Chill, I will touch on them more sensitive matters in my hopefully, next blog entry. I'm still in festive mood to write stuffs that are sensitive and provocative.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 26th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tonight's top 10 are....

Tonight, we would see 10 questions that I'd personally encountered that ranked as my personal best, in terms of being the most bizzarre that is. And sekarang tengah sangap Late Show with David Letterman...kira parody la DRUMROLL FRANK!!!

10. Eh, you are not the father? I thought your father was the son leh....

9. Were you on tv last night?

8. Is Obama really your uncle?

7. You and Brian, both from the same mother?

6. You're speaking Chinese or Mandarin?

5. You're not married?

4. Mister, is your baby a boy or a girl?

3. Eh, how come your mother is bigger than your father and you are bigger than both of them?

2. The condoms are on sale sir, how many boxes do you want?


People tell me the reason you grown so big is because of your circumcision(berkhatan) it true?

We'll now take a break for the commercials but don't go anywhere, the Late Show will be right

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 25th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

You know what comedy is?

hahahahahahaha....I'm writing this particular entry with terabytes of laughter to spare after reading some of them postings from my fellow dudes and dudettes(a female dude...), going through some myspace profiles, going through some of the pictures that they have, and so on. Without wasting anymore time, let's move on to the good parts...

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise the fact that some of the dudettes that I know have this very, very, very, VERY SOFT underbelly towards the needs of affection, attention, "love" and care from the dudes that they know. I mean girl, you're like less than a bloody month after your recent break-up, and now, after all the crap, shit and nonsense that were clearly stated for everyone in the world wide web to clearly see about you not needing a new dude, you found yourself a new guy...a guy that you deem as your messiah to save you from all them bloody needs of yours.

Yeah, I am a non-believer of true love, hopefully that fact will change, god's willings, but you're another prove that further justify my stand that there is no such thing as true love. Bloody hate me all you want, but I could still clearly remember all them alleged great things you said of your former love. AND I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE THING YOU SAID ABOUT YOU CAN'T FORGET HIM AND STUFFS. Is it just me or could women be these great mythological beings that are able to fully control their feelings regarding their past words and actions so that they will constantly feel good about themselves?

Yeah I'm jealous, jealous for realising that women are afraid of me, jealous that I could never be that dude that girls fancy, jealous that this whole bloody world is all about first impressions and superficiality and mundane constructs talking about mundane matters when it comes to the art of courtship... But hey, I come accustomed to the fact that I can't always get what I want... Because of that, I will admit that writing this entry is one of the ways to voice out my frustration...besides meeting the

Kepada sesiapa yang terasa, first thing in your mind must be "I think this dude must be so bloody pathetic that he is way too bloody lonely and way too bloody stupid to have any bloody friends moreover a bloody girlfriend..." Hahaha...aduyai, suke hati la wey. I'm just writing all these things as my personal source of humour, to see and let others know that people are willing to do stupid stuffs when they're "IN LOVE". Sape lagi yang nak hina and maki lebih, silakan,

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to read a particular blog where the particular writer hates this particular person, writes it in the blog, with the name of the person that was being hated nowhere to be seen, and at the end of the blog, this particular quote appears:

"I really don't wanna fight with you, but because you're being such an arrogant ass, you leave me no choice but to write this in my blog. If you do eventually reads this, it was your fault that I write all these stuffs..."

haha...yeah, funny isn't it? You're involving yourself in a conflict but still opting to stay on the fence? Screw the other person for acts of asshood but screw you harder for not voicing it out to him. Screw the other person for being oblivious and obnoxious but screw you harder for not dealing it the right way.

But what about these things that i'm doing you ask? Hahaha, the acts of making an ass out of yourself as mentioned above are not worrisome complications for me...they're my source of humour and laughter. I have no problems whatsoever with the dudes and duddetes that I observed to have done them pretty funny things. I think that the things that you guys had done should be known by everyone...I should share the joy and laughter right? Keep on doing it, other than sex, drugs, and alcohol, you guys are the things that's keeping my sanity in check...haha.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise this particular person is trying too hard to be innocent. Do you really think that I'll accept the fact that you're saying you never, ever, ever, ever watched porn in your life? And you're saying that it's all disgusting and stuffs...and you're from KL...that's just pure comedy... Look at the way you dress, look at the way you act and talk, even a bloody guy that is visually impared can sense your hypocrisy miles away...

Come on la...we're bloody 18 year olds already... We can be open about our sexuality, we can talk matters that are "matured", heck, we can even get married for god's sake...

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise someone being something that that particular someone is denying of not being. You're saying you're not gedik, but look at how you spell them words in your blog, look at how you construct them words in your blog and look at the things you write about in your blog.

First time adding you in myspace, you're telling me not to forget to comment your pics. Aduyai...why are you so bloody insecure? And judging by them pics, yeah, it is safe to say that you are indeed gedik.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise that things might not be as good as you had planned. You hate me, and you talk bad about me behind my back. And you act to be all friendly and nice in front of me. You think that no one would tell me about all the stuffs you tell them. Haha...too bad, they told me.

I guess if you're not talking to me after this, or you're fighting with other friends of yours that are my friends too, I think you had already read this particular entry and decided that it's time for you to drop the act.

Last one, you know what comedy is? Comedy is where you succesfully escape a RM600 fine from the police after committing multiple traffic offences by acting all poor, desperate, and innocent. Aren't Malaysian law enforcers just great, respectful individuals? lol...

Again, I would like to stress out that all the things mentioned above, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS WITH IT. I'm just sharing it with everybody so that they too can read about it and we all can have a good laugh together...that's all.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 24th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.