Saturday, March 3, 2012


People tend to say a particular thing which will then come with different interpretations when asked for justification or reasoning to compliment the moment of asking and their feelings with minimum fuss.

And don't worry this is not a post to bash a particular people or anything. It's just an accumulation of feelings regarding events that happened since my last entry.

2 years is a long time don't you think? It's funny how, correct me if I'm wrong, you were trying to just erase or force yourself to blank-out those feelings and memories like it didn't matter. Like you're trying to start fresh and new and treat what had happened as a mistake. Sincerely I do hope it's a lot more complicated than that.


Everything that I heard, it came from a sincere intend to amend things. From how you put it, trying to start new. I listened attentively, as always, because I thought that's what people are supposed to do when someone's talking to them. Judgemental? I'll admit that it's my fault and I'm sorry. But it's my second nature and my main aim was always to have your best interest at heart. Like a good, caring special friend should.


Too early. Not ready. Focus on yourself. At least that's what you told me. And even though I'm 30% against it, my other 70% said that I have no business whatsoever and I should support you, like a good, caring special friend should.


To be frank I'm sad. Disappointed. At least compare between apples. Not between apples and oranges. That hurt me much. As if mine's didn't matter and it was nothing. If you put it that way, how are mines supposed to matter to start with? Level out the playing field. Make it fair for me. Please? Like a good, caring  special friend should?


Let this be clear. My sadness and disappointment never manifested into hatred. You too know that I'm not that type of guy. Besides, your best interest at heart were always my main motivation for my actions. There were problems at the start but after realisation, memories and goodwill are far greater motivations for me to do it one last time for you, like a good, caring special friend should.


I do hope that things are getting easier for you than it is for me. Because by then I'll know that you're doing fine and judging on what had happened, it indeed seems like it is easier for you. I'm genuinely happy. A little bit of sadness but overall I'm happy if its true, like a good, caring special friend should.


What do you mean not granted much privileges?