Aiman Aqeem Toreq

Homesexuals. Something to fear? I don't think so.

2012-01-17T18:40:00.001+08:00

This post is not about being a homophobe. I'm not a homophobe. At least I think I'm not because I never encountered a real living breathing male or female homosexual before.

That begs the question, am I being my usual self that is always being afraid of the unknown? How could I be sure regarding my stance about homosexuals when I never even met one before to start with.

Why I'm touching this subject matter now is because there are sources saying Malaysia's possible future Prime Minister stand regarding homosexuality and quoting him as saying "we will have to review some of our archaic laws."

To the neutrals or maybe those who are indeed homosexuals, to you lot I now maybe moving myself towards the category of being a homophobe. But, my friends thus far are of different cultural, religious, social, and economical backgrounds. If I could get past these variables that weighs more than someone's sexual orientation when determining friendships and acquaintanceship, I could half-heartedly say that I am indeed ok having friends that are indeed homosexuals.

The only reason to why I'm not sure on how I will react towards homosexuals is because I never met one before. But my intentions are, when I do finally meet one, that I will treat him the same like any of my friends or acquaintances.

So what if he's homosexual, loves cars, have good sense of humour, and plays video games and football? I don't think it would be a problem for us to be friends and hang out.

So what if she's homosexual, loves shopping, a good cook, educated and loves Twilight? I'm quite sure that it won't be a problem for me to be friends with her. And judging by how pathetic I am with girls, I must say that I could develop a crush on her. Heh.

I guess all these fears are coming from mainstream media feeding us these ideas that homosexuals act differently from their non-homosexuals counterparts like guys will be all soft and woman-like and girls will be all man-like(?). This could be stereotypical but I'm sorry because that was how I was exposed since young that homosexuals tend to act or be like that.

Personally if I could, I would not let the laws in Malaysia to be changed to accommodate homosexuals and transsexuals in Malaysia.

I'm a god fearing guy and I'm the first one to admit that I will and had messed up more times than you could imagine. But I know my limits and according to the guidelines, men were made for women and women were made for men. Anything remotely straying away from that well written and well documented line is considered a major sin. From my humble views, anything that is sinful is a problem.

Malaysia, not to put it through the eyes of cynics, doom merchants and pessimists, is already a beautiful place laden with problems. I love my country and I don't want her to bring upon herself another problem that she doesn't deserve.

Some people say that homosexuals are born with it but I would like to humbly refute this point. If we are indeed born with it, why is the world population kept on growing year by year?

Projections depict that the world went on a steady inclination of inhabitants from the 1800s right up till the 1920s. Sure you can say medical and technological advances were made but the bottom line still remains that you need sperm(s) and ovum(s) to create new human(s). This proves that homosexuality is a choice and not something you're born with.

What do you think would happen if the first few humans follow this urge to become homosexuals? Wouldn't we be extinct by now? So you're saying it's not fair then? Why you and not someone else if you think being a homosexual is a "bad" thing.

Life's not fair.

Believe me if I could, right now, I would go on and buy myself a piece of bacon to know what and how it tastes like.

If I could I would go buy myself a glass of French wine to know what and how it tastes like.

If I could I would go and have myself an orgy with at least 5 women to know what and how they taste like. Heh. :D

Don't you think it's not fair for me to not being able to have none of those except only to copulate with one woman, up till 4 God's willings, but only one at a single time, for the rest of my life? Haha. Life's not fair. I get you. Just move on with it because that's how I see God tests us.

With temptations, decisions and tribulations.

And I'm not bashing homosexuals. I'm just trying to prove my point that homosexuality is a choice, not something you're born with.

To me, I would like to humbly state that homosexuality is a sin. I'm sorry if it offends you. I believe in the Afterlife and I'm still way behind in terms of preparing myself for that ultimate destination. And I do believe in prevention is better than cure.

I believe in the concept of heaven and hell and I don't want to wake up one day knowing even one of my children telling me that he or she is a homosexual. That would just eat me up. Tear me up inside and just kills me.

Please, anywhere but Malaysia.

Alone.

2011-12-16T04:59:00.001+08:00

Alone. By yourself. On your own.

And don't worry. This is not some dark, emo anti-social post rejecting humanity.

Is it really a bad stuff being all of the aforementioned words? Had modern society managed to change its citizens into being unable to live on their own? Had we descended, or ascended into being beings that are depending, like 80% of their day, on social interactions?

And without it will we be lost? Incomplete? Insignificant?

Most of us, our first love with (online) social networking is Friendster. Then dawned the age of Myspace and when that came to an abrupt halt due to the emergence of Facebook, Google+ is now, still trying hard to dethrone it from its peak.

What is (online) social networking actually? By chatting in the prepared chat box, or commenting on pictures or posting on your friends wall, does it counts as socializing? Is it really that effortless and mundane? I don't know about you but the only conversations that are at the back of my mind through these mediums are the ones that happened at most 2 days ago, unless I go check it up on my wall of course.

I'm not saying it is bad because I also log into Facebook almost everyday and will let my homepage set on idle almost as long as I'm awake.

Maybe because I like the fact Facebook is everything mashed into one; the romance of its simplicity and wholeness that makes it so important in our daily lives.

But.

But after reading a particular article about being alone; the art and importance of being alone, I came into fruition that it could be some of the free daily importance that some of us never get to appreciate and practice because we are too occupied with everything else.

The only time we make time to think about ourselves is when something good or bad is happening.

Think about it. When was the last time you spent at least 20 minutes thinking about what you want for yourselves or from yourselves? When was the last time you spend at least 5 minutes thinking about reasons, motives, or consequences?

I'm not saying you should spend 5 minutes to think whether you should open a particular door to get to the other side.

I'm saying you should spend some Me time.

How about try to learn that particular recipe that you had always wanted to so that you could cook yourselves something nice and pretty every now and then?

How about try to learn how to play that particular musical instrument that you always wanted so that you could in the future find free ways to amuse yourselves?

How about try to get in shape or at least lose a few pounds so that whenever the next time you look at yourselves in the mirror, you will feel better about yourselves and about your body?

You could surprise yourselves from many different perspectives with your achievements and your results.

Too much of a hassle?

How about going outside and sit on a stool, in a park, next to a road just looking at things? A tree, a building, other people, a cat, a dog, the sky or even the ground.

Still fond of your calories?

Just lie in bed and look at the ceiling.

Some say that it's day dreaming and is it a bad thing, day dreaming? At most it will let you have a nap and if you fall asleep for 2-3 hours straight it means that you're not having enough sleep at night and your sleep cycle is screwed.

My definite and explicit point, it is really sad to realise that you are in a place of being needy almost 80% of the time. The extend of always wanting to have someone there "just in case" just for the sake of not wanting to get lonely is pathetic and verging on vanity; you're too afraid of everything.

Stop thinking about others already. Be selfish. The only thing you'll get by always wanting to have someone to talk to is rapid 5 second intervals shots of alertness.

No Shame November

2011-11-19T18:45:00.001+08:00

Found this from Athifah Ain. And this is her blog, http://athifahain.blogspot.com/

Challenge accepted.

People say that space is the final frontier. Because it is the final unknown; Mysterious. Mystifying. Baffling. In a sense, I could connect those 3 adjectives into another word; Future.

To be frank, I gave what might happen to the future, my future, little concern of how it may turn out. I always thought that I will not do too bad because as a child, I'm not exactly a wild child nor a troubled teen. Adventurous, not me. The closest thing I get into smoking was shisha-ing, and that was only a one-off. Rebellious, only towards my parents, just like every other teenagers. Hence the logic of I will live an ordinary live with my own family in the future doing some job that will be enough for us to be content with.

But then, just like fine French wine, we all will get better with age; a little bit smarter and wiser. I started thinking of all the possible consequences that might happen some 10 or 20 more years from now.

And it wasn't too rosy. Read in the internet on how environment factors will have huge implications on genetic mutations.

I am worried.

Especially the part of how my children will turn out. Cigarette smoke have the capability of changing the genetic make-up of your gametes. And as we all know, most of the smokers in the world are inconsiderate towards the consequences of their actions. I don't know if I can survive if my children would have genetic diseases like Down or Turner Syndromes. I don't know if I would have enough strength to pull myself through let alone my family.

My dad is and still a smoker and I'm truly grateful to Allah s.w.t because I turned out normal genetically.

I am worried.

If I will never find the right one to call my significant other. Sure you will eventually end up with a husband or a wife, but ain't the possibility of knowing that you won't end up with your soul mate, and you're married only because you don't wanna get lonely, a daunting, terrifying, and frightening prospect?

I am worried.

If I will not be able to finish my studies and will eventually derail my career path which will then lead me to a dead end job where I will never be happy. It's challenging, going to a new place where you are so unfamiliar with and there are nobody that you can relate to when the going gets tough.

I am worried.

If I will be a big disappointment to my parents. Of course they won't tell you, and of course they will still love you But I know from past experience that how they will treat you will tell whether they are disappointed or not. And because by then, I will be too big of a piece of crap to even realise that I am only their what-if son. That's frightening.

I am worried.

If 20 years from now, when I will eventually end up with normal kids and a loving wife, thinking back on the past 30 odd years, there will always be a little voice at the back of my head telling me, WHAT IF.

The future. It's a huge pain in the ass, full of uncertainties and improbabilities. I hate uncertainties. It makes me feel puny and powerless. Humanity can of course continue spending 30 billion dollars a year on space exploration. But what harm would it do if they could channel to me some of that money. Even 100k, once in a lifetime, would be sufficient to shed some light on how my future would look like.

Please. I don't want to live in the dark.

Inner demons.

2011-11-15T18:18:00.001+08:00

How? How exactly do you do that? How do you stop habits that had been going on alongside you as long as you could remember? All this while you thought that these, to a certain extent, reflex and subconscious actions are harmless and undisruptive....till you reached a certain age that is. Either through people or the Internet, you later realised that these actions lie on the wrong side of the social or religious norm; they are either sinful or against the law, depressing or dispiriting, disheartening or miserable.

How do you program your brain, mind, soul, or conscience into stopping or dropping these urges that you have grown so accustomed with?

From the smallest of "bad" habits like tendency to chew your nails, masturbation, pornography, procrastination, swearing like a loose cannon to the "worst" like alcohol addiction, women, drug addiction and gambling; with negativity being subjected to the readers comprehension and understanding, how do you stop these actions that, every now and then, had for a brief period of time in the past, gave you joy, pleasure, and relief from the constant, routine activities of your daily life?

How could you stop something that were so good, to you at least, only because society deems it awful? Do you bound yourselves to society's demands and obligations?

I admit that I'm no saint. Done my fair share of bad deeds in the past. Just like you, I'm a normal human being with flaws and mistakes, prone to repeating it time and time again.

After moving to Kazan, with time, loneliness, and depression as my constant companion, my "bad" habits grew from bad to worse. They were kinda being my drugs to get me through the day. For the first six months here, done them almost everyday. Furthermore, being in a foreign place, where Islam is not the major religion, far from social and religious practices that are different from Malaysia, I was out of control. There was the occasional repentance and feeling of remorse here and there, usually for about 1 or 2 weeks, then I will continue my usual "activities" until my next shot of resentment and regret.

Probably these short periods of regret are a blessing in disguise.

One day I came into fruition that I can't continue living my life this way anymore. I can't continue living in a pool of sin. I can't keep on pretending and lying to everybody that I'm fine. What made that particular feeling of remorse and self-pity different is that deep inside me, I felt like being the utter most useless piece of crap ever in the universe. I felt so downbeat with all the lies I said to my mom, with all the sins I done to Allah, especially the latter. I spent an hour crying and the rest of the day feeling like crap. Even a harmless email full with motherly love and advice brought me to my knees and bursting into tears.

Times were spent thinking and regretting about all the sins I done. I had probably done more sins in the past six months here combined than I ever had with 19 odd years living in Malaysia. The next few days were probably the darkest for me. I didn't know what to do. The only escape was when I was asleep.

But Alhamdulillah, I don't know how or why, my thoughts brought me into questioning the logic of having those short periods of resentment and remorse in the past. I was drowning and falling ever deeper by the second into the abyss. Why didn't I go all the way by continue doing other sinful acts? Why did I had those brief periods of trying to bring myself closer to Allah s.w.t?

Alhamdulillah, finally I realised that, it's because Allah s.w.t still loves me. No, not love, that's too much. Allah still acknowledge the fact of my existence and gave me chances by the abundance, time and time again to go back to Him where everything makes sense. And of course it's also because of the constant prayers and doa from my mom to Allah s.w.t, wishing for her son to always be protected and not stray from the righteous path.

I cried. I never cried so much in my life. I cried until my eyes were sore and red that I thought they were bleeding because of me crying so much and so hard.

Well, at least now I'm feeling less awful than I was since that faithful day. Not to say that I am now a totally different guy free of sin and wrong doings, there are the occasional colouring over the lines, but alhamdulillah I managed to keep almost all of them into the category of small sins. Resentment and remorse, alhamdulillah, is what quickly follows every time my foot slipped through the cracks.

Being even a measly 10% of a better guy than I was back then is a huge achievement for me. Baby steps.

You'll need perseverance and dedication to change a lifetime worth of bad habits. You'll get there eventually.

I started praying, had intentions of taking care of my solat and khatam the Quran before I go back to Malaysia early next year.

My intentions for writing this entry are only to share with people about the fact that, enlightenment or hidayah is never out of reach. God or Allah s.w.t is The Ever So Compassionate and The Ever So Loving. We are His creations and of course He will give us a fighting chance to go back and stay on the righteous path because He is The Ever So Kind. If there were never any chance to begin with why are there the existence of heaven and hell.

This is only from my personal experience.

I'm only 20 years old and some might say that I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm still too young and they'll be future trials and tribulations worse than this.

But I was at the edge, to the point of no return. Stared at the ever widening jaws of Hell, blinded, and was probably on my last few threads of salvation.

I'm here not to preach, just to say that a mom's daily prayer and her doa led to Allah s.w.t saving me from going under. I guess it's true then, "Syurga Di Bawah Tapak Kaki Ibu." :D

I introduce to you, Abby! :D

2011-11-15T02:35:00.001+08:00

Haha ok this time, no BS. After that previous attempt to start writing again some 10 months ago, haha, I will renew my vow with this blog that she'll get more attention from me from now on. And I'm gonna call her Abby.

Anyway, the reason I wanna start writing again is because I'm not that occupied living here in Kazan and often found myself wasting time with useless activities such as playing video games. Haha. My subject this year will only be Russian language hence the abundance of free time available.

With this renewed vow to Abby I promise you my writings will definitely be adult-ish. Topics will revolve around my university life, what I think of Kazan, Russia, what's happening in Malaysia, what's happening around the world. No more hate posts( there will be some eventually ) and no more lovey dovey stuffs ( there will be some eventually ). I'll try to keep it at a bare minimum. My new aim is to make Abby as a platform for me to share my views and opinions of relevant things that are happening around the world.

May Allah bless you and everything associated to you. :D

1 month living in the jungle aittttt.

2011-01-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

Yeah, as the tittle suggests, I'd now been living in Kazan, ALONE, without any other Malaysian students around and communicating with people is such a pain in the ass, for about 1 month now. And the idea juices are running riot now because I'm writing this while listening to Guns & Roses' Welcome to The Jungle. WAD UP. haha

Anyway, ever since I'd been here, my mind was kinda stuck in Malaysia; thinking about Jasmeen, family, friends, Alamanda, the Battle Gear arcade machine, haha, and of course, Malaysian food. You don't know how hard is it to be fully happy with your conscience regarding the Halal-validity of the foods here. At most times I would just sit up in my room forcing myself to only eat 1 pack of instant noodle, brought all the way from Malaysia, per day so that I would still have abundance of it left to survive for another 5-6 months....not! Sooner or later I need to taste some of them Tatarstan food. haha.

And you know what sucks more than that? Not a job definitely, get your mind out of the gutter. ; D The fact that for the first month here, I only had class for like 3 times. As I was needed to wait for the other international students, mostly from India, coming another 1 week from now, or that's what I'd been told anyway. So I spent almost 30% of the day watching shows/movie on the internet and 50% of the day playing games. THEY'RE JUST SO MUCH THAT THE HUMAN EYE CAN TOLERATE WITH BY LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN FOR 80% OF THE DAY. I'm now forced to wear my Ray-Ban aviator so that I won't have double vision. haha

Well I'm writing this not to complain, maybe just a bit, but I just want some company, some people to talk to, some people who understands my culture, some people who would remind me of home. Don't get me wrong my roommates are awesome, and I could read Russian quite okay, but to actually speak and understand what you're talking about, or even the other person is talking about, that is another different matter. And you know what, most of the interactions done with my roommates are via Google Translate or I needed to play charades with them. haha. And of course, interacting via keyboard with other people could only give you like only 10 secs of the excitement if compared to actually talking with someone with your mouth can provide. haha.

Never in my wildest dreams this time around last year that I would thought of being thrown into some foreign, distant land far, far away, alone in the pursuit of knowledge. Well, that's what life will bring to you. One day you're eating tosai and iced milo while reading The Sun for breakfast, and next thing you know, you're having cereal with milk and open up facebook to check up on your notifications for breakfast. urgh. People say that Karma's a bitch, I think that's the more appropriate title to give to Life.

But as I spent most of the days thinking about random stuffs, I realised that I'm actually quite fortunate. I have a room all to myself, the city centre is 10 minutes walking distance and so is the university, I taste some local food and to my surprise my stomach is tolerable with it, and the gym is next to my hostel. So yeah everything is not all doom and gloom, I just need to overcome the language barrier. damn.

And I managed to survive in an all chinese environment when i was a child, surely this couldn't be as challenging as that one right? And I managed to learn chinese the last time around...so the only major difference here is the subjects involved are given freedom to have pre-marital sex with each other....that's the only major difference. haha.

So yeah, life, FUCK YOU. The score now is 1-0 in favour to you, but I promise, God's willing, I'll try my level best that by the end of this semester, to turn you around and hump you hard straight through the back just like how you had done so to me up till now, DOGGYSTYLE. Come on guys, give me A for effort for that awesome life analogy. haha

And now I'm signing off with Guns & Roses' Paradise City in the back ground. Oddly enough, that's the thing that I need to do with Kazan...to change it to my personal Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. haha.

So there you have it, my 2nd ever entry after my comeback. haha. hope you guys enjoy it.

From Russia With Love. haha damn it i love that line.

2011-01-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

Anyway guys, i'd been living in kazan, which is located in the republic of tatarstan and coincidentally being part of the russian federation for almost 2 weeks now. and to a certain extend, i'm finding it ok living here, except the part where i miss jasmeen comel and my family and friends so much. and piece of advice, if you're thinking about moving into a country alone where you won't find any other people that's from your original country, MAKE SURE YOU BRING LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF INSTANT NOODLES. instant mee goreng makes me forget my worries...just until i look outside through the window and find that snow is everywhere. damn. haha

anyway, here are the pictures, due to popular demands, that shows you guys how i'm living around here.

these 3 are the pics of my university. it's main office that is because the university faculties are separated and are just walking distance from it. and currently, my classes will be here.

this is the main road leading up to the university.

the next three pics depicts the shit-load amount of snow that fell since the past few days. haha

this is the intersection leading up to my hostel.

this is the road from the intersection leading up to my hostel.

again the amount of snow. haha

and this is my hostel.

shit-load amount of snow again. haha

i live on the 2nd floor. my room is the third one from the right.

i wanted to take a picture of a big cute dog for jasmeen but it was camera -shy. damn. haha

a cute pink house right in front of the hostel.

the main front entrance.

parking lot.

yeah, you guessed it, SHIT-LOAD AMOUNT OF SNOW. haha

this is the hallway to my room. and guessed what, they're co-eds. damnnnnnnn.

door to my house/room? i know it says 302, yeah, that's how these people here think. haha

and this is the kitchen. it's situated along the hallway.

and this is my room.

yeah, and because i live in a room, alone, when it should be for two, keeping things tidy and systematic is not one of my main concerns. to me, as long as you can see it clearly, systematic enough. haha

this is the only window in the room. and you know what, because it's so freezing cold, it also acts as a fridge. my drinks and fruits are beyond that curtain. and it's just as fresh as putting it in the fridge. haha

the pink house from my room.

ha ni yg tak puas hati, kecik gile. haha. tido cam kene bersile. haha. damn. tapi still syukur.

ha this is the stuffs that i should do/take every morning before going to class. them orange-coloured pills are vitamin c. and most of the medicine are used for me with my excessive sneezing condition. and alhamdullilah, sejak sampai sini, tak kene sinus attack lagi, even though awal2 pagi time subuh. haha. maybe it's because of the air quality instead of the temperature? and tengok la tu, yg kaen putih tu....tu jasmeen comel buatkan tuk kite before kite dtg sini. everyday tengok sbb rindu kat die sayang die. muah2. ^__^

ha this is my get-up in the room, before i go to class and chilling around usually. sorry for the excessive smiling. haha

ha ini pulak baju tuk ke class. sweater vest fuck the whattt. haha

and this pulak coat every time i wear before going out so that my balls won't fall off after being frozen. haha

and this is the complete get-up usually before i go anywhere outside of the building.

and trying to take picture with both hands wearing gloves. impossible. haha

haaaaa nak gedik jap. haha

so overall hidup sini ok. murah. sbb duet beza ngan malaysia 20-30 sen je. and i'm looking forward into loosing some few pounds sbb bilangan makanan, especially maggee tu akan dicatur sebaik mungkin. haha. and part rindu kat family, friends, and my dearest jasmeen comel kat malaysia, especially jasmeen comel, i fill that up with sleeping and reading novels. haihhhhh. and probably blogging just to take my mind of the issue.

so there you have it, my first ever entry after my comeback. haha. hope you guys enjoy it. and jasmeen syg, muah, i love you. rindu meen sgt2. ^__^

HELL YEAH I'M BACK.

2011-01-06T06:25:00.000+08:00

Damn it. Feels like a thousand years since I blogged. Man these blogging hands will be needing some fine-tuning. And to my 70-odd followers, fear not, I'm back to entertain you guys. As if diorang pun still blogged. haha. Anyway, to those reading and had been waiting for my highly-anticipated comeback, to quote Michael Jackson, "THIS IS IT!"

And Jasmeen Jumain, I MISS YOU. SO MUCH :'(

Don't worry guys, the contents could be lovey-dovey, but not excessively. haha

The ultimate music challenge.

2010-03-29T14:17:00.000+08:00

You know something? I'm sick and tired of lots of my friends going around saying they know lots of stuffs regarding music.

They say that I'm boring because I'm old school.

They say that I'm pathetic because my type of music is irrelavant to the modern age.

They say that I know nothing about music.

Well, I just got one thing to say to them: MUSIC CHALLENGE APP on FACEBOOK. Go prove your worth...you talked the talk, now please, walk the walk. And don't worry, this particular app is not bias towards only my type of old school music loving people, the music questioned consists of many different genres. So, in other words, IT'S FAIR.

And one this I don't get....why isn't this app popular? Hmmm....

So, what you waiting for? Go now, prove that you're better than me...because seriously, you guys will need more than just luck in this. Oh, and please check my score out boleh? haha.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 43rd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

haha...typical me.

2010-03-25T21:57:00.001+08:00

Haha...for this particular entry, I just wanna share with my fellow bloggers and readers about the conversation I had with my significant other half not so long ago. And after reading it, I'm sure you guys will see the relevance of it with the title of this entry. Oh, and prepare for some ultra-smooth-cheesy-Hollywood-influenced-romantic one-liners....haha.

Her: Abang, nanti kalau meen tak kawen ngan abang camne? Kalau meen kawen ngan orang laen camne?

Me: Thinking...

Her: Abang?

Me: Nanti the night before your wedding, abang gi jumpe meen and tanye meen nape meen kawen ngan laki tu...and nape meen tak kawen ngan abang...

Her: ....

Me: And if meen still nak kawen ngan die, abang will walk away and on your wedding day, abang won't come sebab abang simply just couldn't do it....

Her: Awww.....( she hugs me....so sweet...haha )

Me: And on wedding day meen tu...nanti abang gi alamanda sorang2...

Her: ?

Me: Haha...abang gi alamanda maen arcade sorang2...maen arcade sambil nangis.

Both of us burst into laughter...haha.

Her: Ape la abang ni....haha.

Me: Pastu, abang will run away from Malaysia...far away from here sebab tak nak teringat kat meen....

Her: Mane?

Me: New York....sebab abang memang dah lame nak live in New York and experience life in the greatest city in the world...

And bla bla bla bla bla....

And the rest of the conversation was either blurry or too private to share in here....haha. At the end of that conversation, it surprised me a whole lot because I never even knew that I had it in me to say something so nice and romantic...haha. But, as usual, at the end of things must have elements of comedy...haha. And to those that didn't get my sense of humour, I'm so sorry to had wasted your time...so sorry for you to put up with my crap...haha. But give me a break la...I'm bitten by the love bug...show me some love ait.... ^__^

And to my significant half, the sight of seeing you laugh and smile and always be happy when being with me....from the deepest of this shallow heart of mines, it's the best feeling in the world and it makes me feel so happy and complete....because of that, I must thank you for making my life so much better...

It seems that no one deserves misery and pain all his/her life...to those who think that you don't deserve love and happiness...please, believe me, I'm a living example....you do deserve it....maybe the big man upstairs think that you're not quite ready to meet him/her just yet...because He's afraid that you will waste that person that you had waited for so long to be together with. My advice, just don't go searching because if you do, you'll stop God from doing His work and you wouldn't want that to happen, right? haha...

Oh god...I must stop from being all too cheesy and mushy-mushy...haha.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 42nd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

2 weeks in 10 minutes....

2010-01-16T08:15:00.000+08:00

It'd been a while since I wrote anything. So, let's give you readers a recap of what had happened to me for the past two weeks since the turn of the decade. Let's make it a wee bit more interesting by turning it into a review of things that had happened that managed to make me think about things...haha. Besides, talking about me is boring.... Oh, and football fans, there might be some news that will/won't rub you down the wrong end depending on how you receive it.

Anyway, first up, it's gotta be that one heck of a titanic news regarding a particular Manchester club finding themselves laden in a MASSIVE 700 million United Kingdom Pound Sterling debt due to the process of owning the football club by a particular "business oriented" family from the United States - The Glazers - and the football club I'm talking about is non-other than the red half of Manchester, Manchester United. I read reports on the club spending nearly 200 million alone since the take over, and exploring the depths of The-Season Ticket Holders-and-TV rights-and-Player Transfers-and Copyrights-and-Sponsors-and-Etc-Cookie Jar in the process, JUST TO PAY THE BLOODY AMOUNT OF INTEREST to the banks that The Glazer family borrowed their money from. And keep in mind that the take over process occurred only a distant five years ago...just imagine if THAT amount of money being used on the development of the club as a whole instead of paying interests...

Oh, and that world-record transfer of 80 million pounds of a particular Christiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid actually made the net season turn-around profit of the club for last season to a mere 40 million pounds. Oh, and of course, there's now RUMORS flying that they might need to sell Wayne Rooney, yeah, WAYNE ROONEY just to keep the ship afloat. I feel lots of different emotions when reading this, this whole shenanigan surrounding the two-time Champions League Winner...but all I can say is that, LET'S DO THE LEEDS EVERYBODY!!!! haha...

Secondly, yeah, about football too...but now, it's regarding the red half of Merseyside - Liverpool FC - . Rafa promised them die-hard Kop faithfuls that the top-four finish is "guaranteed" by the end of the season....but I beg to differ Rafa. Your lads fell short to a decent looking Reading team who's placed some 25 odd places below you mid-week....a team of millionaire athletes losing to the not-so-rich footballers of a modest Reading side...you have more problems in your team than the infinite amount of money that them Arab owners of Manchester City bring to Eastlands Rafa... Although not owing as much money to the bank in terms of interest as their Manchester United counterparts, but believe me, they too are in some serious battle to turn debts into profits, with some 300 million pounds recorded as the club's net debt at the end of 2008.

With no fund to bring in additional players to play in the Gerrard-Torres team, I'm not that too optimistic with Liverpool chances of finishing above in-form Birmingham at the end of the season. Oh, and had I told you about Liverpool and their new stadium thing? Good luck with all them refinancing, and bank loans, and further interests AGAIN for the new stadium ait.... AGAIN, LET'S DO THE LEEDS EVERYBODY!!! haha...

Other than that, yeah, there's this whole incident where this particular church was, fortunately, did not went up in smokes after fire were set ablaze by some jackass arsonists... Come on you people, we're Malaysians. We're supposedly citizens of a developing country...to those who are offended...I would like to state my apologies on the behalf of these assholes for their stupid, moronic act of trying to kick the soft underbelly that is threatening the balance of social, cultural, and religious harmony and understanding that this country is so proud of for so long.

Let's not let these preposterous acts of some imbeciles threaten the thin line that is our country's peace and harmony. If we do, it would justify their balls-less acts and purposes and we, as a nation, would easily be recognised by the international community as a country without a strong backbone and could easily succumb to racial disharmony and religious tensions. There are better ways than planning to burn down a temple or a mosque as a sign of retaliation because it would further fan an already combustible situation. Besides, it solves nothing and would further spark more "sensitive" confrontations in the future. Those that the people selected to represent them, please, at least try your best to solve this particular matter as it would pose a major threat and further jeapordise the nation's continuity and ability to develop itself and fulfill it's potentials.

Phew, enough politics, let's talk some entertainment...haha. You guys watched the whole thing that went down about this whole Tonight Show involving Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien? Apparently, it got something to do with time slots and the two personalities got their shows move to a later time slot and cut short due to poor ratings... And, because of this, David Letterman is having a field day criticising both tv hosts and the NBC execs that are running the company...some hilarious shit I tell you...haha. Oh, and I must again tell you that the greatest comedy tv show ever created are EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, FRIENDS, AND WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY!!! I cracked myself up every single day till the point of my pancreas barely holding out from going KA-BOOM! haha...

And there's also the 7.0 magnitude earthquake that struck the island of Haiti...decapitating the country's lifeline to the outside world due to many of it's infrastructure being leveled down to the ground. If you readers couldn't donate even RM 5 for a worthwhile cause, at least give them a 5 second thought in your prayers every night before you go to sleep. You tried your best, now let's just let God do His work no His own...

Lastly, I committed myself into a relationship that I believe that would last for a very long time. We both know what we want, we both know how we want it, and above all, we both know that that's what we need. If you're reading this,I want you to know I would try my best to make this relationship lasts for both of us as I believe that what we have here is truly special. God's willings...amin.

Anyway, I brought you football, politics, entertainment, and a wee bit of my private life for you dear readers to read in less then 10 minutes...I think I done quite ok right? haha...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 40th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

2010...start of a new decade...

2010-01-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

Ok, I read through many blogs...and most of them, talk about what they wanna be/accomplish in the new year and how they reflect the past year. I don't know about you guys but yeah, I think, all them personal aspirations on what you guys wanna be or accomplish in the new year...should like stay inside you...because sharing them with everyone else is like pointless? And oh, be a better person and get good grades in school...that's the Holy Grail of all New Year Aspirations eh?(sarcasm)

Anyway, my entry's gonna be a bit different. Instead of stating what my aspirations are for the new year, I'm gonna share with you about things that I achieved in the past that I'm proud of...or things that happened that made me proud...because yeah, only by looking and reflecting on the pass can we build ourselves a solid foundation on how to tackle the unknown.

Enough philosophies...I'm gonna start at the new millennium.....the 2000...because the 90s are all the too blurry for me...bad memory...haha.

2001 standard 4

Hmmmm....blurry.

2002 standard 5

Hmmmm...ha! Rap music...HIP-HOP!!! lol. If being exposed to rap music and hip-hop and all them influences that it brings counts as an accomplishment...yeah, proud of it... WORD UP!!!

2003 standard 6

Ha! Candidate for Year of The Decade. Final year in primary school...a senior. Haha...anyway, that's not what I'm proud of...ehem-ehem.

-Chinese Chess Competition: School Champion

-Chess Competition: School Champion

-Finally got a thing for basketball.

-Let the girl that I had a crush on for so long know that fact...like only 0.0001% of it...lol

-UPSR 5A 2B (Bs for chinese ait...)

-Starts loving Arsenal FC.

I always remembered 2003 as a year where I realized that I got lots of potential to fulfill...only because I started late...that's why weren't able to completely fulfill it. Oh, and thank you chinese teachers, friends, and learning environment that were all so competitive which because of that, built a solid foundation for me to tackle the new high school environment.

2004 form 1

Hmmmm..the transition year from being in an all chinese environment into a race that is of my own...strangely, I felt weird at the begining of the year....nak sangat masuk JESS...sebab all my chinese friends went there...haha.

-Ha! Dropped like 15 kilos...from 120 to 105...legendary!!! ^__^

-Arsenal went the whole 03/04 season unbeaten...49 FUCKING GAMES!!!HAHA!!!!!! TAKE THAT CHELSEA!!! TAKE THAT MAN UTD!!!! And I think Liverpool tak yah try pun...lol

-Either in form 1 or 2, dapat nombor 2 wey kat 3 on 3 challenge at al madani....kalah kan team irman ngan aspa...but losing in the final to wanja's team...di mana diorang adalah power sangat tahap celaka...haha. But no. 2 not bad right?

-My academic results turn out quite ok...top 10...lol

-And I stood up to a form 3 jackass....tried to bully me konon...ko ingat telo aku sekecik kau!!??? haha

2005 form 2

This year I put my foot off the pedal in terms of learning...instead, I tried lots of different things. I always remember this year as the Experimentation-With-New-Stuffs-And-Get-Your-Arse-Kicked-By-Dad Year...quite a mouthful...haha. But...let's not get into the details ait...

2006 form 3

Known as the Emotional Year. Tried lots of new things that got to do with chemical reactions inside of the body...in other words...matters of the heart...

-Got myself a girlfriend...woo hoo!!! lol

-The end of the road for my beloved Highbury stadium....I'll forever be missing you dear Highbury...thanks for all the memories... R.I.P Highbury 1913-2006

-PMR 8A

-Arsenal VS Barcelona Champions League Final. Even though lost it 1-2, we had a good go and that was probably my proudest moment as an Arsenal fan so far.

-OFFICIALLY A HOUSE FAN!!! haha

2007 form 4

I spent this year in a whole new environment....a hostel. Spending time here kinda like reinforced my inner-Houseism...lol. Besides lots of great individuals, yeah, there were also ups and downs while being there.

-Got into acting....^__^ In the school theatre that is...

-Got into debating...second speaker of the government...ASSEMBLE!!! lol

-Played rugby.

-Lost weight...haha

-Stood up to the "people" that thought I was wrong...awesome...

2008 form 5

Known as The Most Regretful Year...I played around wayyy too much...results of that, I surely had wished to not had done things that had happened...crap. Notswithstanding that fact, got transferred into JESS and met lots of new people...made lots of new friends. Probably the awesome-est 4 months ever in a very long time...haha.

2009

I'll always remember this year for a particular thing that had happened at the tail end of 2009. I was lost throughout 2009 searching for direction...and thank sweet lord almighty...found it at around October. The best thing that had happened in a long while for me....thank you. Oh, and this is also my candidate for the Year of the Decade. ^__^

So...between 2003 and 2009...for Year of the Decade...after doing some hard thinking and soul-searching...with a landslide...2009. 2009 is the Year of the Decade for me....to the intended recepient that contributed to making this year the Year of the Decade for me, from the deepest oy my shallow heart, thank you. Hope 2010 would be a great year for both you and me...^__^

Don't know if you guys noticed it...but for as long as 10 years of living...I only remembered like only a handful of great and meaningful events that had happened... It's a pity for all them other great events that had happened to be forgotten...but surely, there's even a bigger meaning to why I only remember these great events amongst all them other greats...right?

And to them readers that read this petty post and all them other posts before this, thank you. To all them readers that read all them posts and put down comments, A BIGGER THANK YOU AND >:D<...I really do appreciate it...^__^ May God bless you and your family, and may you have a wonderful 2010...

And seriously, please, 2010, please bring me songs that are great...and yeah, you 90s and 2000s got nothing against the 80s...haha.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 39th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Questions that people ask me....

2009-12-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

...regarding matters of the heart. Haha...yeah, don't act surprised, but strangely, people do ask me about this particular matter that I'm not too fond of. I ask them back why the heck would they listen to me, well, let's just say that I'm not bias when giving out advices...haha. Ok, so I'm here now to share with you guys what were the questions and what were my answers.

Situation 1:

Anon1: Dude, me and this chic, we met in Myspace. After lots of conversations together in YM, I think we got lots and lots and lots and LOTS of stuffs in common. You think this worth my effort man?

Me: Hmmmm, do you think her reactions and answers were sincere? I mean were she trying to impress you with her answers?

A1: I don't think so.

Me: Were you trying to impress her?

A1: Yeah...why?

Me: How long have you been doing this?

A1: 3 weeks...why?

Me: Were the conversations long?

A1: Yeah....like 1 or 2 hours...non-stop.

Me: And why are you asking for my approval for your actions? If there were doubts about the potential that might happen between you and her, that would had stopped you like 2 weeks ago. And obviously, that would had stopped her too. If she's that sympathetic type, she wouldn't even talk as long as 2 hours non-stop just for the sake of being polite and sympathetic... OBVIOUSLY, she thinks the same about you...dude, make the first move man....good luck mate.

Situation 2:

Anon 2: Dude, this girl that I really, really like....she just confessed to me about her feelings towards me...

Me: And the problem is?

A2: I find this very hard to believe....

Me: Why is that so?

A2: Just look at me man....I'm not the type that girls fancy...

Me: Hmmmm...good point. Do you think it's just physical attraction between you and her?

A2: At first it was...

Me: And now it's not bla bla bla cut the crap... First impression, to me, is always important. THE FACT that she told you what her feelings were towards you...means that you two got something that's more than just physical attraction. I think that's a plus for you man...

A2: I sure do hope so...

Me: Haha...so, what will you do now?

A2: I'm gonna treat her like royalty... Man, could this thing be special man?

Me: Dude, give it a lil bit more time...meet her face to face, spend some time with her...then you'll know the real thing that's going on between you and her...

Situation 3:

Anon 3: Dude, I just spent the whole night sleeping in the car outside her house man....

Me: And?

A3: I don't know what else to do to prove to her how much she means to me, how much I appreciate her, how much I want this thing between us to progress and I'm not messing around with her trust.

Me: Why were you in the car to start with?

A3: She starts to mumble through the phone about something inside her that's telling her that I'm not being serious with her...

Me: Tell me why you're in the car sleeping in front of her house again?

A3: No la...I thought of wanting to go and hug her directly...just to kill off the insecurity that's inside her...

Me: And to prove to her how much she means to you...she won't come out?

A3: Yeah...

Me: Dude, to most girl, that could probably be the most romantic thing any dude can do to a dudette that he likes. I tried sleeping inside a car before, let me tell you something, IT'S PURE HELL!!!! It's either you're freezing your ass off because it's too cold due to you don't wanna switch of the AC...or you're like slowly sweating because the car slowly yet surely becomes all humid when you're asleep. If that won't kill you, the cramped up space sure will..gonna hurt your back big time man...

A3: Your point man?

Me: Haha...yeah. Hmmm, dude, that's like dedication at it's highest quality. To most guy, they would probably go back like 1 or 2 hours later. Did the dudette told you to go home? Did you went home?

A3: Nope...she told me to go back home but I didn't...I was serious.

Me: And I sure do hope that she realise that... Dude, you tried your best...no more you could do if she still don't trust you after you little crusade. She sure is one lucky girl man....to have you attention and dedication of that magnitude...I think I'm kinda jealous you know...haha.

Situation 4:

Anon 4: Dude, can you help me out man...?

Me: Yeah, sure...what is it?

A4: I just gave my new gf a new necklace....I am hoping that she would really, really realise that I'm totally committed to her, that I'm serious with her, that I'm honest about wanting to be with her and I appreciate her very, very much...

Me: Go on...

A4: Do you think she would think the same way as I do about our relationship?

Me: Dude, that's not the main point of concern right now. What matters most is your feelings towards her. Only your conscience that's able to determine sincerity and purity regarding your intentions with her. I ASSUME that you do like her more than just physical appearance...I ASSUME that you like her for who she really is...I ASSUME that you're not just hyped up due to the heat of the moment...I ASSUME that all them things that you told me are true...with that in mind, dude, god willings, I do hope that you and her could last for a very long time man....

Yeah...would you believe that? Aiman, the Lurve Doctor...haha. Anyway, banyak lagi conversations that I saved in my computer that occured through ym...this is like my greatest hits la... Matters of the heart...really complicated and abstract don't you think? And yet, these people ask for my opinion regarding the matter...haha.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 38th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Shake That Ass

2009-12-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hold the fuck up bitch, ain't gonna get no shit from you till you listen to what i gotta say fool. Throw the crack away from your hands and shove your fucking ears up my ass bitch! You ain't wanna piss me off you shithead...so sit your ass down and shut your pile-hole up ait...

Translation: Please do not randomly speculate the contents of this entry untill you actually read it and interpret the contents inside. Please do not be a stereotype and make random conclusions based on less than 5 seconds of observation. I will be offended if you do that...so please make yourself comfortable and read this entry ok?

I'm ma tell you something ait, this lil homie of mine, Adlan, we smoked weed and bang some asses the other day in my hood. So he came to my house with this badass ride of his and put the stereo on max. The lil nigger popped the question asking whether I still remember the tune playing in his ride. It was shitty so I just shit around saying it was Eminem's with some shit I forgot. He told me that it was Eminem and Nate Dogg's Shake That Ass. It took me back some years back before the shit all came back to me...the song was tight!!! The song was dope!!! The song crap the shit out of me thinking about all the years that had passed.

Translation: The other day, my friend, Ahmad Adlan came to chill at my house to kill time. When he arrived at my car with his aunt's Honda City, newest version, he came with the stereos set on max. He then asked me whether I still remember the song, the song was blurry and yet so familiar so I just shoot saying it was

Eminem and some other artist because his voice was distinct and easily recognisable. He told me it was Eminem and Nate Dogg's Shake That Ass and the song made me all sentimental and all emotional inside because I used to like that song a lot, back in my f1-f3 days and with that song coming back all of a sudden just like that, yeah, emotions were running riot inside of me.

Haha...my point of writing in two versions, is because I was trying sooo bloody hard to be that type of guy not so long ago; hip-hop influenced, tried so hard to rap, talk like them black men, watch black men movies...haha, you get what I'm trying to convey here? Thinking back, if 80s music weren't there to pull me out, I may be a totally different type of guy...lol.

And another thing, the reason why I was so emotional was because that song reminded me of what type of dude I used to be....crap. Anyway, here's the lyric, it's dope and to be frank, I could rap this song pretty good too...haha

If you think the video is somehow awesome yet explicit at the same time, here's the lyric to free you of that sense of curiosity of yours regarding the words used....oh, these rappers, diorang gune metaphores yang tersangat la mendalam dan berputar belit maksudnyer...hahaha. Oh, and nak warn awal2, it could get pretty hot and horny while you're reading it...haha

Lyrics to Shake That :
(feat. Nate Dogg)

[Intro - Eminem ]

Shady, Aftermath
There she goes shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control

[Verse 1 - Eminem]

Get buzzed, get drunk, get crunked, get fucked up
Hit the strip club don't forget ones get your dick rubbed
Get fucked, get sucked, get wasted, shit faceted
Pasted, blasted, puke drink up, get a new drink
Hit the bathroom sink, throw up
Wipe your shoe clean, got a routine
Knowin still got a few chunks on your shoestring
Showin I was dehydrated till the beat vibrated
I was revibed as soon as this Bitch gyrated
And hips and licked them lips and that was it
I had to get Nate Dogg here to sing some shit

[Verse 2 - Nate Dogg]

Two to the one from the one to the three
I like good pussy and I like good trees
Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe
And I get more ass than a toilet seat
Three to the one from the one to the three
I met a bad bitch last night in the D
Let me tell you how I made her leave with me
Conversation and Hennessey
I've been to the muthafuckin mountain top
Heard muthafuckers talk, seen 'em drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock
And when I bust yo ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat
Don't let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close cause strobe lights lie

[Verse 3 - Nate Dogg]

We bout to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin it up

[Chorus - Nate Dogg]

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me

[Verse 4 - Eminem]

I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist
Open your mouth for about four or five minutes
Take a little bit of this fluoride rinse
Swish but don't spit it, swallow and I'll finish
Yeah me and Nate d-o double g
Looking for a couple bitches with some double d's
Pop a little champagne and a couple E's
Slip it in her bubbuly, we finna finna have a party

[Verse 5 - Nate Dogg]

Have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (Go head shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl I can fuck in my hummer truck
Apple Bottom jeans and a big Ol' slut
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I want a bitch that sit at the crib with no panties on
Knows that she can but she won't say no
Now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be
Tonight I want a slut, will you be mine?
I heard you was freaky from a friend of mine

[Bridge - Eminem]

Now I hope you don't get mad at me
But I told Nate you was a freak
He said he wants a slut, hope you don't mind
I told him how you like it from behind

[Chorus - Nate Dogg]

Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Cmon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Cmon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be givin it up

[Outro - Eminem]

There she goes, shaking that ass on the floor
Bumpin and grindin that pole
The way she's grindin that pole
I think I'm losing control
God, come one

[Eminem makes noises]
I ain't leavin' without you bitch
Coming home with me
And my boy, and his boy, and his boy, and his gurl
haha, Nate Dogg

[deep breathing]

My favourite part...

" I'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygienist
Open your mouth for about four or five minutes
Take a little bit of this fluoride rinse
Swish but don't spit it, swallow and I'll finish "

and this

" Two to the one from the one to the three
I like good pussy and I like good trees
Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe
And I get more ass than a toilet seat "

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN....haha.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 37th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

The Definitions of Love.

2009-12-14T03:53:00.000+08:00

Wait-wait, don't go into your "Stereotype Mode" just yet, this particular entry, it ain't gonna be all cheesy and romantic, it's about what my friends, relatives, and acquaintances and their definitions of love. So yeah, make sure you're all warm and fuzzy inside or just tag along because you don't have any other better things to do.

1. "Cinta itu buta..."

2. "Entah...aku ni umur 16 jer kot..."

3. "Ko ni pehal tibe-tibe tanye aku bende ni wey?"

4. "Love is like air; it's everywhere around us, cume tak nampak je.."

5. "Jap2, aku tengah dota ni wey....saba jap..."

6. "Love is like MnMs....it'll not melt in your hands, but in your mouth."

7. "Cinta tu satu je; Allah dan Rasul. Yang laen2 tu semua sayang..."

8. "There's no such thing as love....it's only physical attraction on steroids..."

9. "Love is all about making love baby!!!"

10. "Love is respect above hustle plus loyalty!"

11. "Love is fearing evil as a whole."

12. "Benci tu sebenarnyer cinta diterbalikkan maksudnyer."

13. "Love is roti telur plus milo ais in the morning..."

14. "Love is passionately caring someone unconditionally."

15. "Love is another noble way to say "PLEASE FUCK ME!!!" "

16. "Tengok la mak bapak kau tu...tu la erti cinta dowh..."

17. "Cinta? hahahahahahahahahhahaha..."

18. "Cinta tu sebenarnyer cam citer kat Nur Kasih tu..."

19. "Love is cars and motorcycles and chics and booze and drugs and money..."

20. "Cinta tu kaple la kan...kalau tak, kaple tu abende?"

21. "Aku tak penah kaple dowh...camne nak tau..."

22. "Love is when you can't stop thinking about a particular person; whether it's well being or whereabouts."

23. "Cinta tu time kau dah kaple lebih daripada 23 kali..."

24. "Geli la dowh kau tanye aku bende-bende ni..."

25. "Love is like addictive drugs, makin banyak kau dapat makin banyak la kau nak."

26. "Cinta tu hisap rokok tambah shisha..."

27. "Love is basically a fancier way to say "My first time for everything..." "

28. "Love is something yang takde expiry date."

29. "Cinta tu adelah satu perkataan yang bermaksud BERTANGGUNGJAWAB KEATAS ANAK YANG TELAH DILAHIRKAN"

30. "Love is being stuck with someone for 35 years..."

Ok, I think that's about it...at least the ones that I remember about what the many people that I knew told me regarding their view on this particular word called love. And if this particular entry lacks quality, I'm so bloody sorry because for these particular days, something/someone kept on occupying/influencing my head/actions and I'm terribly sorry if some of you feels that this particular entry is rubbish....I'll try my best to enhance the quality in the next one.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 36th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

You know what I saw at Alamanda the other day?

2009-12-07T00:24:00.000+08:00

I arrived at Alamanda last thursday around 8.45, to go bowling and chill with some of my friends. After parking my car, I went up the escalator and you know what's the first thing I saw upon arriving the new level, it's the MPH bookstore. That's not the thing that I'm gonna share with you readers in this particular entry. The thing that happened inside the bookstore that was somehow dumbfounding, hillarious, and a little bit pathetic...maybe a whole lot pathetic...judging on how you interpret it.

Ok, I then went inside MPH to get my hands on the December's issue of Four-Four-Two, it's a football magazine from the UK by the way and it cost me a cool RM 10. I strolled over to the magazines section and took a copy from the shelves. At first glance of the current issue, I was pretty disappointed as the cover on the magazine was Liverpool's Steven Gerrard...probably a story about him, Rafael Benitez, and Liverpool....hoping it was gonna be about Arsenal or something...ceit.

Anyway, I then walked to the counter to pay the RM 10 when a particular sight of a particular woman/girl with a particular red t-shirt that I was so familiar with that commanded my attention for a sec or two as the writings on the front of the shirt, for me, was somehow familiar and the cause for the temporary moment of disbelief at that particular time. I was hoping that the woman/girl would stay long enough in the bookstore so that I could check her out more closely, regarding the shirt and the writings on it of course, because there were 2 more dudes in front of me queueing to pay at the counter. I was nervously looking at the counter one moment, and was frantically looking and searching the sight of the woman/girl with the red t-shirt the other....didn't wanna lose the sight of such magnitude and importance to the point that I'm gonna make at the end of this entry.

I paid the cashier and then gave her a lil smile, because she was a chic, and after that I went straight back to find and locate the woman/girl. A few seconds spent monitoring the whole place before realising that she was situated at the inner part of the bookstore. I tried to act all cool and casual while slowly approaching her, because I don't wanna raise any suspicion from the others that were near her at that particular time and of course, don't wanna give her this idea that I was like actually STALKING her....haha.

We were at the same alley and after realising the identity of her red t-shirt and the writings that were situated, well, very convenient, expedient, and fittingly on her chest area, I began to laugh, like 2 or 3 feets away from her, apparently with no people around me not too loudly...I hope. Guess I need to put that dream of becoming an international super-spy on hold then huh? haha.

She looked at me, gave me a swift "what the fuck?" look and it was very clear that she was finding the whole situation kinda weird and uncomfortable...who could blame her right? haha. Anyway, I made the first move by talking to her so that, when she is at home or with her friends, they won't be talking about this particular big, weird, stalking dude at MPH Alamanda that laughs at books and stationaries for no reason whatsoever...it's kinda emasculating and hurting my street-cred...haha.

"Bukan ape, tadi saye tergelak sorang-sorang tu sebab baju awak. Tu bukan baju ori Liverpool ke?" I asked her.

"Oh...ye, ni baju ori. Ade problem ke dengan baju saye?" She asked me...apparently sounding a wee bit too defensive.

"Tak, tak de problem pun. Sebab banyak member-member saye, ngan die hard fans Liverpool kat luar sane tu, diorang nyer jersey semua bukan nyer ori pun. Tabik wey..." I complimented her...trying to break that little wall surrounding her.

"Awak pun fans Liverpool ke?" She blurted out, and pointing towards the new FFT magazine that was in my hands.

"Oh...tak lah....saye Arsenal. Arsenal FC, we're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen...haha." Up till now, I still do not know the reason on why I sang that lil fan song all of a sudden...but, I think it didn't hurt too much because she finally gave out a lil smile.

"Ala, Arsenal tu, bukan nyer power pun...kalah ngan Chelsea, buat malu jer..." Apparently, because she's a chic, she could get away just like that after giving criticism that's unfounded and a wee bit harsh for my liking...damn my soft-spot-for-women genes!!! lol.

"At least la kan, team Arsenal kite ni leh maen second round Champions League...bukan cam satu team tu kan....ape, Europa League? " I sounded all gedik because didn't want her to go back on the defensive.

"Nasib tak baek jer tu....awak ni duk mane?"

"Saye duk bangi, seksyen 3, awak?"

"La, orang bangi...same la...saye seksyen 7."

"Oh...abis tu, awak selalu tengok match bola katne? Saye kat seksyen 15..."

"Biar betul...same la..."

"Haha...kalau tak silap saye la, nanti lagi dua minggu, Liverpool lawan Arsenal lak...mane tau, leh la jumpe ke kat mamak seksyen 15 tu..."

"Oh..." She blurted out. I took that as a signal of she feeling bored or something. Besides, it's kinda frustrating for me because conversations should be a two-way thing....

"Ok la, saye ni pun ade member tengah tunggu nak maen bowling ni...saye mintak diri dulu ye."

"Ok..." She responded. I gave her a lil smile and strolled past her while checking out the writings on her shirt for the last time to make sure what I saw was the real thing. A few feet into my journey, I heard something from her direction which at that time, was at my back.

"Awak, name awak sape?" She asked.

"Oh, Aiman...awak?"

"Haliza..." (Not her real name...haha.)

"Oh...ok la Haliza, nice to meet you..saye gerak dulu...member dah message ni."

"Oh...awak ambik nombor saye dulu boleh? Sebab handphone saye tertinggal kat dalam kete...nanti lagi dua minggu, leh contact lepak tengok match Arsenal lawan Liverpool tu same-same."

I was like "what the fuck?", but, you expect me to say no?

"Oh, boleh jer..." I took out my handphone and began typing in her number.

"013-64369XX" What, you expect me to give her number out just like that? HELL NO!!! Besides, 8/10 numbers, try to contact her if you're feeling lucky...haha.

"Ok, dah save dah...nanti saye message awak. Saye mintak diri dulu ye...bye."

"Bye.." She blurted out.

I walked out of the main entrance of the bookstore, still trying to digest the fact that I got a number from a stranger, a CHIC, just like that. Why can't life be this much easier much more earlier? haha... But I'll be frank, it was never my intentions to get her number(yeah right...) even though she scores a respectable 7/10 in my Chic-O-Meter. I checked her out simply because of her shirt and that plus the fact that it was put into overdrive by my sense of curiosity...besides, I already had someone else in mind.

So, what is it that's so special about her shirt you ask?

I don't know about you, but, for MOST of the Liverpool jerseys out there, there's a pretty simple way to determine it's authenticity. For fake ones, the writings on it that was situated at the chest area would be LIVERPOOL. But, for original ones...

it's...

....

wait for it...

....

not enough hype...

....

a lil bit more...

....

CARSLBERG!!!!

Now do you readers understand why that girl is not my cup of tea? Well, for those who still don't, I'll put it in mathematical equation form because it's easier to understand.

Malay girl + Muslim + Tudung + Short-sleeves T-Shirt + CARSLBERG = GO FIGURE!!!!!

I was walking on my way to the bowling alley when a thought came crashing into my mind, like a speeding bullet, that left me dead standing on my feet in front of Famous Amos.

"HOLY CRAP!!!! I think I just invented a new pick-up line!!!"

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 35th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

She's a maniac.

2009-11-27T18:47:00.000+08:00

Wait-wait, just hold your rage-induced progesterone and estrogen for a sec, this particular entry of mine, I ain't gonna diss any particular girl (read this statement of mine very carefully you sexist jerks), it's actually a shout out, or should I say a tribute to a particular genre of women; them ladies who are not afraid to reveal, display, or exhibit their different characters and personalities when socialising with others at that pivotal early stage. And because I'm a dude who loves controversies and hullabaloos being thrown around like a free-for-all, yeah, I'm gonna write this entry based on my level of exposure with the outside world, in particular with those that are of the opposite sex.

The way I see it, men will only talk to women and of course vice-versa, it's because either man/woman find something attractive, no matter how ridiculous or absurd that thing is, in the person that he/she is talking to. Each person's definition of attractive is different, so let's not touch on that matter ait...

The reason why I am stressing on the critical early part of any socialisation process is because, to me, if the first stage could be done and completed with both sides not afraid to express themselves firstly in terms of language; because to me, the way someone write either in blogs or IMs or in any other written literature form will practically be the same way to how they will interact with others verbally, secondly in terms of self-belief; because if you lie about the things that you believe or have faith in to impress the other half, sooner or later you'll eventually get frustrated and bothered because that other half is interested with someone that you are not, and lastly in terms of your moral compass; because nothing pisses me off and draws foul words and thoughts from my mind more than seeing a woman who wears a head scarf plus a pair of tight-ass jeans and them short-sleeves t-shirt...everyone's a hypocrite, EMBRACE IT, then I'm pretty sure that the next and latter stages of socialisation and bonding between the two parties will go on smoothly because both are attracted to each other's charateristics and are willing to tolerate and abide to each other's flaws or imperfections. That's why people say that relationships are about sacrifice...go figure.

I always watched movies and listened to my friends talking about this mystical, powerful, thrilling feeling that when two souls talk to each other, they'll suddenly find themselves in this situation where they clicked instantly. Probably because of the many different things contributed to that particular feeling, although illogical and absurd it may sounds for two different souls to feel that as if they knew each other for a long time when they just talked for like only 10 minutes, I guess that's why people also tend to use the term mystical to describe them too huh...

And the effects of this rare moment would be further amplified if the person you're having a conversation with, is talking to you with nothing held back in terms of the presentation and contents....and you find that attractive!!! How pure and original could that particular conversation be!? I mean, that's like conversation on steroids!!! To me, personally, nothing beats that type of conversation...first time talking to each other, you two instantly clicked, even though it's not 100%, but yeah, 90% is a pretty big number right?

Some might argue that these sort of conversations and meetings are random and happens only in the movies. But I believe that everything is intertwined and there's no such thing as randomness in this universe.

"To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

I truly believe this quote right here, even though it's a scientific quotation from Newton's third law of motion, that everything in this universe is connected and there's no such thing as random chaos. Who knows, maybe a distant star from a far-away galaxy should blow up to contribute for your find of that illusive conversation. Or maybe someone in Ohio are having sex right now that might contribute for your find of that rare conversation.

This is why I say, my dear readers, make it easier for that particular mystical conversation to find you by making your presentation and contents more original. Talk to that particular opposite sex that you're interested in like how you interact with your particular best friend. If he/she finds them petty things in you a factor of deterrent and restriction from getting together with you and know you better, then I say go to hell with that.

My point being, that particular feeling of instantly clicking with a total stranger and finding him/her attractive at the same time regarding his/her presentation and contents at that moment of getting to know him/her better, IS LEGENDARY!!! Find all them superlatives to describe something positively, mash them all up, glue them all up, multiply them by infinty and you still couldn't exactly define what are them feelings that you're experiencing.

What does all of these got to do with the title of this entry? Well, one thing's for sure, society deems these bad, rebellious, sophisticated, mysterious, open-minded women as a maniac. Men find these type of women challenging and one too big of a daunting conquest to conquer. But for guys like me, we are loving these sort of women. That is why, I'm begging on bended knees, to any of the other girls out these that are reading this, please, you guys may want to portray this image of a perfect little princess while on your search for that particular knight in shining armour, but trust me, this feeling of finding this particular man who accepts you for all your imperfections that society thinks they are, and actually shares the same imperfections with you and be open about it, I tell you, IT IS TOTAL EPICNESS!!! Heck, I think I might had successfully discovered the true definition of love!!! haha..

Oh, and this is a particular song from the 80s, with the same title as my entry that I think might concluded the things that I want to present today...oh, and I am willing to bet my ass that you guys will love it too...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 34th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

For Azryn Asyraf Toreq

2009-11-22T13:53:00.008+08:00

Yesterday, the venue was my house and we, the whole family, did this little eating ceremony to commemorate my little brother's circumcision (kenduri doa selamat). Anyway, the scene that day was pretty awesome...many of my mother's friends were there....our relatives all the way from Johor were also there...but the disappointing thing, the friends that i invited, seciput jer datang...buto la korang... Pastu tak datang tak nak gitau...bengang wey...sumpah bengang.

Anyway, this particular entry, it'll be about my little brother. His name is Azryn Asyraf b. Toreq, 11 years old, and he's kinda a little wuss...being the youngest and stuffs...always having the protection and blessings from my parents...so yeah, a wuss alright...lol.

But, in a few hours time, he'll be embarking on a new journey, as a young man, where he will be entering that particular doorway, walking down that particular hallway, to meet that particular witch doctor, and have his masculinity upgraded...ten fold!!! In other words, to have his foreskin on his penis removed...also known as lil elephant evolving into lil azryn...just like lil aiman...haha.

I don't know when will you be reading this post of mine, or when will you understand the meanings of the writings here...but when you do, I just want you to know that by crossing that line of no return, you'll be exposed to many things that are both good and bad. I am sure that you'll be doing just well, but I just want you to know that I'll try my best to offer you the protection and guidance that I seldom had in the past.

My little brother....only standard 5....holy crap? You bet your ass he is...

Ni possible scenario when he's in form 1....celaka nyer budak...haha

Ni probably time form 3...lol

And this maybe time abis SPM...stress...haha. But muke adik aku tu cam serious gak kan? lol

Hmmm, before I end this little entry, I just want you to know, my little bro, I will try my best to stop you from being even a 0.0000001% of a person that I am...because my dear little brother, I love you very, very much and I want you to fulfill your potential and be the man that I never once had a chance to be....

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 33rd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

For Jasmeen Jumain

2009-11-19T12:11:00.004+08:00

Yeah, as the title suggests, her name's Jasmeen Jumain. And this particular entry, will of course have something to do with her....

Before you readers start speculating on anything, I will give you the 4-1-1 on her. Well, based on the info stated on both her Myspace and Facebook account, she's comfortable with people calling her Meen, she's 16, she goes to JESS and she hates JESS by the way. What people don't know is that she's a metal-junkie, as in them hard metal songs yang jerit2 tu....wow. She listens to old school rock songs...double wow. She's now a huge fan of the 80s song from A-Ha which is Take On Me...triple wow. And the coolest shocker of them all...her bday's on the 16th March....mines on the 15th...QUADRUPLE WOW!!! lol.. And she thinks Guitar Hero players suck balls.....but then again....nak citer pasal note ngan chord tu tak meen? hahahahaha...

Anyway, the reason why I write this particular entry's because I was challenged. That little dudette challenged me to write a particular entry about "loyar buruk"...don't know what it's called in English. Well, at first, I had this "Writer's Block" syndrome...but after a while, dapat inspiration, so yeah, I'll try my best to make this a quality entry. And besides, my balls are a little too big to be undermined and emasculated by any 16 year old girl...haha.

Hmmm, for this particular entry, I'll be showing examples on when this little dudette was being all loyar buruk with me through our conversations...

1. " eleh-eleh, mane pergi minah ni konon. you yourself haven't updated much:) "

haha...ni baru level 1....

2. " badan sekeping je, just flat. segan la doh. "

hahahaha...kalo nak compare with me...=_=' Oh, and seriously, tak terlintas pun dowh dalam kepale otak aku ni pasal "just flat" tu......iyo lah...haha.

3. " alah kalau stakat pegang satu dua chords je, tu kucing belakang rumah pon boleh buat. "

haha..buto!!! nak citer tak ni meen pasal notes and chords tu? hahahaha...tak yah la kan...aku tak nak ko emo...lol

4. " eleh, apa kau ingt kau sorang je la dengar sume ni. and yes, i do love rock songs and im definitely not your typical 16-year-old little sister. "

elelele.....dah ko ni first girl that I know yang layan lagu2 camtu...how should I know kan? kan? kan? but yeah, you're not that typical 16-year-old sister...kembang2...cekik kang...haha.

5. " ye la, sbb kau je, i missed my lovely dinner and my homeworks. bahaha "

ye la meen...I'm honoured to have received your attention...lol

6. " but then, die ckp a-ha tu mcm lebih kurang new-wave, so x best mama pon =PPPP
hahahahahahahah "

hahaha...suke hati ko lah jasmeen...lol

7. " mmg la dorang famous tp kalau new-wave buat apa-.- x de la best mana pon. "

BUTO!!!! hahahahahaha...

8. " im just stating that the song is just so-so. it was okay but nothing more. "

tergelak dowh bace statement ni....haha.

9. " ye la it's all your fault la aku dah ulang lagu a-ha tu dah dkat 6 kali dah. gaha mcm dah addicted sengal betol "

hahahahahahahhahahaha...ade heroin dowh lagu tu...haha.

10. " kau ni-.-kan awl awl dulu aku dah ckp aku mmg suke led zepp. tentu tentu nye la aku lyn stairway to heaven doh. ape brg la kau ni weh? "

haha...time ni tengah bad mood meen...baru kene marah...lupe...

11. " hahahahahahahahah diamah you know, even my sister is blaming you now.

die ckp,

"weh lagu ni ade dadah ke ape hah? tgn aku ni mcm tergerak sendiri je nk tekan replay"

hahahahaha....adik dia pun layan wey lagu Take On Me....hahaha...

So, I think that's just about it la kot....record of conversations between us kat myspace...haha. Ade gak time kat ym...but kat situ ade bende2 sensitive yang I think that should not be shared randonly just like that....meen, sayang aku lebih wey pasni...haha.

Oh, before I forget, this is the music video of the song that is taking over her world by storm and the one that rocked her senses to the core......tul tak meen? kening2...haha....

And kepada sesape pasni yang dah sangap lagu ni, like our little jasmeen over here and her sister, ingat, you first heard it from Aiman Toreq...ceh2, cam kat 2012 tu...haha.

Oh, and is it sooooo bloody obvious that I'm trying to impress this chic? buto!!! hahahahaha....ni first time writing a blog entry for a particular chic ni wey...lol. Oh, and I'll be waiting for my rewards now meen...haha.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 32nd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....especially minah yang bername Jasmeen Jumain ni...haha...cheers.

Apabila diri ini dianggap dan dilabelkan sombong...

2009-11-18T20:17:00.003+08:00

Saya dapat tahu daripada pihak-pihak tertentu yang mempunyai infomasi dimana terdapat pihak yang mengatakan dan melabelkan saya ini sombong, dayus, tidak mempunyai sifat patriotik dan sanggup menjual maruah bangsa hanya kerana saya ini seorang manusia yang lebih gemar menggunakan bahasa Inggeris daripada bahasa Melayu apabila berkomunikasi sesama insan samada ketika menulis blog ini ataupun ketika berkomunikasi secara percakapan.

Saya tidak tahu dimana anda mendapat buah fikiran ini dimana seseorang itu bersifat sombong dan sanggup menjual maruah bangsa hanya kerana dia lebih gemar menggunakan bahasa asing daripada bahasa ibundanya sendiri. Saya telah membuat kajian, membaca buku daripada pelbagai sumber, dan telah mencari jauh dan luas di alam maya ini untuk menentukan dimanakah anda mendapat buah fikiran ini. Hal ini kerana saya memang sedikit kecil hati disamping meluat terhadap pihak-pihak tertentu yang melabelkan saya begitu kerana manusia-manusia ini bukan sahaja tidak mengenali saya, bahkan, mereka jarang bersemuka dengan saya. Mereka membuat pertimbangan dan konklusi ini hanya berdasarkan pertemuan maya antara mereka dengan saya di laman-laman web sosial seperti Myspace, Facebook, dan Friendster. Anda boleh juga menambahkan Blogger jika laman web ini dikira sebagai suatu tempat untuk manusia bersosial sesama mereka.

Bukan apa, anda memang berhak untuk melakukan pertimbangan sedemikian, saya tidak menafikan hak anda. Tetapi adalah sangat tidak adil kepada saya jika anda membuat pertimbangan itu hanya berdasarkan kefahaman terhadap diri saya yang hanya sedikit jika dibandingkan mereka yang telah lama mengenali saya dan hasil daripada komunikasi sesama kita di alam maya. Saya boleh memahami kehendak anda untuk membuat konklusi sedemikian, tetapi saya masih tidak dapat memahami logik anda disebalik konklusi yang telah dibuat.

Perkara yang saya buat ini, bukanlah untuk memaki hamun mereka yang telah sedikit sebanyak menyakitkan hati saya dengan konklusi-konklusi yang mereka telah buat. Ini adalah tindakan saya untuk mempertahankan diri dan maruah saya daripada pihak-pihak yang berfikiran cetek dan tertutup terhadap konklusi-konklusi mereka terhadap diri saya. Saya tidak faham, jika anda bijak sangat, mengapakah anda tidak cuba untuk menyembunyikan buah fikiran anda yang menyakitkan hati itu daripada diketahui ramai. Hal ini kerana terdapat ciri "message" di Myspace ataupun Facebook dimana orang lain tidak akan mengetahui buah fikiran anda ini. Adakah anda rasa buah fikiran anda ini tidak menyakitkan dan menyinggung perasaan insan lain? Jika itu adalah apa yang anda anggapkan, ia sama seperti saya memaki hamun ibubapa anda dan beranggapan perkara seperti itu hanya kecil dan tiada orang akan tersinggung perasaannya, termasuklah pihak yang dimaki hamun itu. Adakah itu bijak? Walaupun saya ini telah lama meninggalkan sekolah, dan tidak pernah belajar matapelajaran Sivik ketika dibangku sekolah, saya rasa adalah sangat berbahaya untuk anda berfikiran sebegitu. Kerana silap hari nanti, jika anda menyinggung perasaan seseoran insan yang panas baran, anda mungkin DIBUNUH atau DITUMBUK sehingga MATA, HIDUNG, dan MULUT anda bergabung menjadi satu! Ingat, perasaan marah tidak mengenal jantina, lelaki atau perempuan, SAPU SAHAJA!

Saya hairan kenapa pihak-pihak sebegini bertindak sedemikian...adakah kerana saya ini bukan kaki pukul? Adakah disebabkan saya ini tidak cenderung akan perbuatan-perbuatan ganas, mereka ini berasa selamat untuk melemparkan apa sahaja yang mereka suka kepada saya? Ini tidak boleh jadi sekiranya saya terus diambil kesempatan sebegini kerana saya juga manusia, mempunyai perasaan. Jikalau begitu, saya rasa lebih baik saya tumbuk dan sepak sahaja manusia-manusia sebegini. Saya tidak akan berasa sakit hati jikalau anda memberitahu terus kepada muka saya tentang buah fikiran anda itu daripada bercerita buruk dibelakang saya dan menyebarkannya kepada pihak lain. Tidak mengapa, sekurang-kurangnya sekarang saya tahu anda ini manusia yang bagaimana. Anda ini memang bahaya!

Matlamat utama saya menulis perkara ini adalah untuk memberi amaran kepada pihak-pihak yang suka bercerita buruk dibelakang orang lain. Hal ini adalah sangat bahaya kerana ia boleh bertukar menjadi pergaduhan jika pihak-pihak yang berperangai keji ini telah menyinggung perasaan insan yang panas baran dan tidak berfikiran terbuka dan menerima ia dengan hati dan minda yang terbuka. Kepada mereka yang berperangai sebegini, sedar-sedarlah bahawa bukan semua manusia di muka bumi ini adalah penyabar. Hari ini mungkin adalah hari anda tetapi manalah tahu, mungkin keesokan harinya anda akan mati dipukul oleh mereka yang panas baran, kaki pukul, dan meluat akan perangai anda yang jijik itu. Dan tolonglah cari sumber yang anda telah dapat dimana ia mengatakan bahawa menggunakan bahasa asing daripada bahasa ibunda adalah satu perbuatan sombong dan ingin mendapat publisiti murahan. Malahan, anda menulis bahasa Melayu ketika berkomunikasi juga menggunakan istilah-istilah pendek dan itu juga sedikit sebanyak telah mencemar maruah bahasa Melayu.

Sebelum saya berhenti, saya ingin membuat jeritan keluar(shoutout) kepada mai(utterrubbishfrommindlessdude) kerana telah memberi sumber inspirasi dan kekuatan kepada saya untuk menulis blog ini dalam bahasa Melayu. Saya mendapat inspirasi daripada perbuatan anda yang mencuba untuk menulis dalam bahasa melayu walaupun tahap penguasaan bahasa Inggeris anda adalah pada tahap tahi suci(holy shit). Mai, jangan kembang sangat hidung itu...gelak kuat-kuat(lol).

Oh, and susah giler tahap tahi suci dowh nak tulis karangan bahasa melayu yang proper cam time kat sekolah tu...hahahahaha. Ape, chupato!!!?? lol.

Itulah dia lelaki dan perempuan, dengan itu, habislah sudah penulisan pertama blog saya yang ke-31 dalam hidup saya ini. Diharapkan anda menyukainya...senyum.

Things I learn after throwing a party...

2009-11-15T11:56:00.002+08:00

There were some ups and downs, highs and lows, goods and bads of throwing a party. After throwing a bbq party last night, I think it should be shared for everyone's pleasure.

1. Meat should be sliced very, very, very thinly.

2. Meat and chicken should be left marinated overnight, not just 3 hours....damn.

3. Never, ever feel ashamed or afraid to ask for help from friends...thanks hakim, adlan...MVP dowh korang...

4. Malaysians tend to be late for at least 15 minutes, remember that Aiman.

5. Be ready for some unexpected company...damn little children...lol.

6. They were some unsporting people...suh ikut theme pun susah. Tak de baju konon...porraahhh!!! haha...

7. Them sporting people, you guys are sure to be on my list for any party I'll be throwing next time.

8. Girls are so insecure and cruel. Last minute cancelation la....no friends coming along la...tak de baju so can't come la...takut nanti tak de gang la... The point of going to a party, IS TO MEET NEW PEOPLE AND HAVE FUN!!!! celaka...

9.Place to get food and place to chill should be placed not too far of a distance.

10. Have enough food; prepare for more than what you'd prepared...lol

11. Need to have something serious to dare with kalo maen game...JILAT!!! JILAT!!! haha...

12. People should say goodbye to the host when leaving the party...tak yah la tibe2 menghilang terus...

13. Girls don't trust me...celaka...

14. My social circle consist of mainly boys...celaka...

15. Pretty much of the lads are cool, sporting ones...great to invite to a party.

16. I never knew that people don't have at least one pair of rock oriented clothes at their house.

Last but not least...

17. Tight-ass jeans will at first kill and suffocate your balls, but, lame2, it feels kinda comfortable...lol

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 30th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Don't blame me, blame my gender.

2009-11-10T10:07:00.002+08:00

Heads up, before this thing starts, yeah, this post, will indeed have something to do with my gender; being a male, having testosterone, doing manly stuffs, FANTASISING and other things that are within the realms of your imagination.

Note the bolded word, yeah, gonna talk about that now. Before reading this, don't be a bloody killjoy, don't close your mind, break away from your stereotype-mold of a person, and lastly, DON'T TRY TO BE ALL NAIVE.

Every time I see a pretty lady walking past me by the street, I WILL MAKE HER KNOW THAT I'M CHECKING HER OUT; with my eyes slightly arched downwards, with my mouth closed, with my eyeballs slowly and surely following the direction of her movement, and when she walked passed me, I turn around to check-out her rear view, and also to see whether she turns back to make sure that I was checking her out. All of these are done under the main condition that she was walking alone, with no male counterparts walking besides her that society deems as her mate or partner...so that there won't be any misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or bodily harm...haha.

There were lots of different reactions that were pretty amusing and at the same time, awesome.

There were women that looked back at me, with their eyes arched upwards, smilling, making a cute face, and their heads slightly tilted to the left or right, as if asking me the question: "What do you think?"

There were women that looked back and after realising me looking at them, quickly turned their heads back around as if saying: "Stop it...you're making me blush.."

There were women, of course, that gave no reactions at all...arrogant bastards...

There were women, don't act surprised, that walked back towards me and asked directly: "Were you checking me out?"

There were women, again, don't act surprised, that walked back towards me and shouted at me: "Pervert!!!"

I could go on and on about them different reactions but decides to stop now for the good of mankind...haha.

Everytime I see a nice pic, either beautiful, cute, sexy, classy or any other superlatives that you could find to describe a woman in a good manner, in Myspace or Facebook accounts of the opposite sex that are my acquaintances or not, I would of course share it with my fellow peeps and comment about it.

"Nape la dia ni cun sangat.."

"Aaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!"

"Bapak cun la sial!!!"

"Holy SHIT!!!"

"Curves dia...maut bhai..."

"Tak leh lagi putih ke muke dia ni.."

"Mata japanese anime wey..."

"Mesti best kan balak dia..."

"Aku rase mak dia ni pun mesti cun gak..."

The conversations stated above are some of the many examples of the things that use to come up when I share nice pics of women with the lads that.....appreciate the beauty of women the same way as I do and the fact that they are showing it for us to look, yeah, ni kira cam favourite past-time hobby kitorang gak la...haha. Oh, and the pics weren't restricted from social networking sites only, female artists yang cun2 pun kitorang layan gak...

Everytime I meet a friend or any new acquaintances, that are of course of the opposite sex, I would thoroughly "scan" her to see which part of her body that she is showing off and screaming to the public, especially men: "Do not touch the merchandise boys..."

When she is trying to push out her facial features by enhancing them details that make them stand out, like great hair, red-blood lipsticks, thick black mascara, or anything elses that make men notice her face, yeah, I will notice it alright. When she thinks that I'm not looking, yeah, I will in fact make my imagination work overtime. I will imagine her with different types of hair, different length, different styles and different colour. I will imagine how she would look like without her makeup, with different colour of foundation, blusher, and different colour of lipsticks. I will imagine her with glasses or with contact lenses.

If she's wearing them tight-ass jeans, yeah, you guessed it alright, I would focus on her arse when she turns around so that I would get a clearer picture of the shape and proportions. And the same thing goes if she was pushing the two elements up north. I would curi2 check her breasts out, just to get an idea of the shape and size. To determine whether it was appropriate with her body frame or not. A short-framed woman with a big ass, yeah, if could sometimes both be a blessing and a curse....depends on the situation of course. But I just couldn't find a fault when it comes to women with plenty of mammary glands to go around with. Again, don't blame me, blame my gender.

My point being, I told some of my female friends of mine that are pretty close to me about this habit of mine, many of them gave mixed reactions...both almost all agreed that I should keep it to myself. But, knowing that I'm just too curious to know on how people would react if they knew this, I must admit that it's just too hard to keep it in...haha.

Some might argue that I'm a pervert, but seriously, dah diorang nak tunjuk, dah diorang nak people firstly recognise them by the physical characteristics that they want people to firstly recognise them with, I think it's pretty unfair to give me that passive-aggressive treatment if I don't even had a chance to start with don't you think?

Oh, and don't think that I'm the only weirdo that's with this "disease". If you women wanna show it so badly, we men will in fact receive it, helly yeah, enjoy it with open arms. Don't be pissed off because frankly speaking, we men are secretly admiring you and are indeed attracted and is giving full attention towards the "attributes" that you women are showing off and wanting us to give attention to in the first place. And think this as favor from me to you women that are reading this because basically, I am telling you ladies the things that are sometimes in the minds of men everywhere.

Damn it...I would probably have more male enemies after this for revealing our deepest darkest "secret" to you guys of the female species... Oh, and any House fans out there, regarding the title of this entry, could you guys tell me which episode it came from? haha...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 29th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Am I just that pathetic or just too cool?

2009-11-09T02:44:00.002+08:00

Haha...one bloody month since my last post... Anyway, let's cut the foreplay. Back to the topic of my entry...hmmm, I don't know how to put it, or where to put it, this is because I think I spend too much time alone...all by myself....with nobody else in sight. Don't believe me? Well, please take some of these few cases into account then....

Case 1

Believe it or not, it'd been quite a long time, 2 months to be precise, since I had breakfast with someone other than myself sitting on the same table. Yeah, 2 months... I don't know if it's any big of a matter to any of you but I don't know la...for the first few days, I felt nothing was wrong. Eating alone all by myself in the morning is a perfectly normal thing to do. 2 or 3 weeks later I was starting to check out other people with their partners or friends that are having breakfast around you...in terms of their newspapers, their clothes, their shoes, the things they eat and all them other petty stuffs. After that period of time, I was starting to think about stuffs. I started to doubt my communicating skills, I started to lose focus, strangely, lost some of my appetite and yeah, up to a certain degree, I started to wonder whether I was just not that normal to start with....haha.

Case 2

When my mom told me that my room was starting to smell like me, I gave little attention to it. I brushed it aside thinking that it was another one of my mom's lame attempt to clean up my room....haha. I don't know how, after coming back from playing football one evening, I went straight into my room to take my towel before one defining odour stopped me on my tracks. I thought that something was up so I went back out of my room and yeah, the odour went away, just like that. So I came back in and boom, the scent came back. I think I am able to define the smell, break it up to smaller segments so that it would give you an idea of what I was dealing with at that time. You know that new car smell right? That plus some scent of men perfume that your father always use and that hair-gell smell...haha.

So I frantically checked my room to search for any old clothes, towels, bedsheets or things that contributed to the smell but found nothing. I was mystified, frustrated, and up to a certain degree, quite angry actually because I am pretty sure that my sense of personal hygiene is not that bad. Suddenly, words of my mom the other day was ringing in my ear. That smell....was that my smell? haha...pikir punye la pikir, I couldn't find some logical sense to turn it around and over the particular puzzle so yeah, I accept jer la.. But seriously, other than this particular huge mountain of unfolded clothes, a layer of dust, visible through the naked eyes, that was covering the furnitures and tiles of my room, and books that could need a wee-bit more effort of putting away, yeah, I think I was doing quite okay actually.

While I was looking around, just l like that, boom, I think I know why my room has this so-called "my scent" lingering in it...yeah, you guessed it, I spent too much time in my room. There's 24 hours in one day, I spent approximately 14-16 hours a day in it doing stuffs that are private...haha. Maybe my body odour kinda got stucked onto the bed, the floor, the furniture....I don't know la...could anyone tell me? haha..

Case 3

I couldn't remember when was the last time I went out to hang out together with people that are not as the same sex as me...in other words, with girls...haha. The things that you're thinking in your head right now, those are not the reasons behind my worries. My main concern is whether the opposite sex would think me of someone that is not...normal...haha. I asked the lads, yeah, the say I'm normal. I asked them lassies that I know pretty well, yeah, they too say that I'm normal. My view and desire towards the opposite sex never changed, and I never see guys in ways that are....aduyai...lost for words... Mai, fill in the blanks with some fancy word that you know...haha.

Do girls find the tendency of wanting to be alone somehow freakish? Weird? Because seriously, I need to break this "lucky" streak that I'm in right now...haha.

Case 4

What will happen when you watch a little too much comedy shows all the time? You'll start to think that everything is funny and starts to take your foot off the pedal a little bit more. Yeah, it's not wrong to not take everything so seriously...but what's concerning is when you take matters that are supposed to be dealt seriously a little too lightly. My brother, he skipped sekolah agama one time too many, and I busted him. Instead of busting his head off with loud and harsh words, I smiled at him...at gave him a little laugh. I don't know what was his reaction seeing me laughed because he was expecting something else...haha.

Because you see, I love to kill time by watching comedy tv shows. Someway, somehow, that is enough to make me forget my loneliness, and make me think that being alone is not that bad of a thing to be in. But, I don't know la...you guys tell me.

Case 5

You guys ever had this feeling of don't want to be in the same room with that particular person? I don't know how to say this...but I think I am uneasy to be in the same confined place with people that I know. I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond in my mom's room, my mom came in, and like an immediate automatic reaction, I stood up and went out of the room....haha. While being in a car travelling long distances, if it's with my mom, I must be the one who's driving in order for my mom to fall asleep...haha. If not driving, I would plug in my earphones to listen to music or play my handheld...to take my mind away from the current moment and position... 10 or 15 minutes of doing nothing and having empty conversations, yeah, that's fine with me... But longer than that, I often have trouble coping with it...aduyai...

Guys, the things that are mentioned here, I am indeed aware of it being a problem. But because of me enjoying spending time alone by myself, I just don't know how to react or cope with it. Could anyone please help me ease this pain and get it off my back?

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 28th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Haha..I'm a Wilson....

2009-10-06T19:31:00.003+08:00

Snapshot Report Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 93
Subscale percentile = 34

According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is slightly below average. People who score like you do feel that their ability to understand and deal with their own emotions and those of others is just barely acceptable. Emotionally intelligent people have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are generally able to control their moods. It’s easy for them to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons. They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. They also report having an easy time offering support to others; likely due to an empathetic nature and a solid ability to offer advice. Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others.

Haha, I read a post from Mai, utter rubbish from mindless dude(she's a dudette by the way), and yeah, I must admit that I was curious to see how well I would score due to the fact that I never took these sort of questions and some way, somehow, deep inside me, I was starting to get all confused with what kind of character I would be in House Land due to some complications happening for the past couple of months. I thought and hoped that I would be a House but damn it, I turned out to be a pretty decent human being after all, emotionally at least...LOL.

"People who score like you do feel that their ability to understand and deal with their own emotions and those of others is just barely acceptable. "

SPOT ON!!! Yeah, I was screwed up pretty badly a few years back...so I guess I'm on the right track then huh...

"Emotionally intelligent people have an easy time overcoming difficulties in their lives and they are generally able to control their moods. "

Yeah, this sounds pretty much like me...if not consistently being in this sort of state due to the fact that sometimes, when I'm angry, BOOM!!! Just like that everything went off. When I'm disappointed and sad, instead of crying, I watch comedy..that's just comical... When I'm stressed out and can't always get what I want, I would be in that silent, lifeless, emotionless mood...responding with sort responses like yeah, don't know, oh, hmmm, haha, stuffs like that. Oh, and yeah, I would curse and curse and curse and be angry at everything behind the backs of them people that are frustrating me...but thankfully, it will last for like a few minutes....haha.

"It’s easy for them to motivate themselves to overcome obstacles and reach their goals. "

Haha....out of 10 times trying, I would be successful for like only 2 or 3 times....haha, so yeah, I'm a work in progress.

"In addition, they find social interactions to be quite easy and fulfilling, for several reasons. "

Hahaha...for several reasons...yeah, it's true alright. I will communicate with acquaintances just like saying hi and other shitty stuffs, usually for a few minutes...nothing deep and long. If they do intend to stay, I would probably just listen and let them do all the talking. But if communicating with people that are friends and beneficial beneficial, in terms of giving me a good time, laugh, flirt, gossip, listening to their problems and offer solutions thus making me feel all good about myself and other stuffs like that, yeah, I'm pretty good at that.

"They are comfortable allowing themselves to get close with others, and feel comfortable being vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. "

This is true when it involves people that are of the same gender. Notice why all of my top friends in myspace are boys? LOL. Hmmm, girls, on the other hand, I don't know la... I tried to pick up their signals, interpret their signs, but seriously, for those that I meet for like the very first time, they couldn't see past my physical being. Other than those who have decent sense of humour, I couldn't see other ways on how to communicate with them. So, to them girls that know who they are, yeah, COUNT YOURSELVES PRETTY LUCKY...or is it that's lucky...haha

"They also report having an easy time offering support to others; likely due to an empathetic nature and a solid ability to offer advice. "

Haha, true indeed. All thanks to House. Seriously, I don't know where I would be without that bloody TV show. But I'm not sure about the whole empathetic nature thing though. I give out advice based on logic, not random feelings.

"Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others."

Haha, couldn't agree more. I kinda know where my weakness is, like being all lazy and will easily give up on matters if the fire isn't there anymore, but strangely, instead of dealing with that, due to my laziness, I am just way too lazy to deal with that...probably due to lack of motivation...see? Told you right? My other problem is lack of motivation but because I'm too lazy to find motivation....I'm kinda like stuck in this bloody vortex where I'm spinning round and round and round furiously, but ends up getting nowhere...lol.

Oh, and only now I realised that I'm a Wilson....stuffs inside my head are only theoretical...only when the moments come, under severe pressure and being all desperate will I do all them bad and gutsy stuffs. And what character in House do you think you are?

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 27th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

The reasons to why I celebrate Hari Raya.

2009-09-16T23:48:00.004+08:00

Hmmm, it's philosophical alright, the reasons to why we celebrate Hari Raya. I mean, everyone should have their own reasons to why they are looking forward to the particular day, and every single one of them reasons should be different right? With that in mind, it is the thing that had been bugging me all week, to know which one of them many reasons, are the ones that can be considered...logical.

For as long as I can remember, the two main reasons to why I am so eager to celebrate Hari Raya is first money, and then second, the food....yeah, I'm that shallow... Actually, I don't know how to rank these two in terms of which one comes first. Comparing money and food...it's like comparing a threesome and a foursome...lol

Anyway, I'm not talking about them shitty RM1, 2 or if you're lucky RM 5 duit raya...them things are childplay... I'm talking about the motherload...RM100 here, RM200 there, and if you're really, really, really lucky, RM...

wait for it...
....
....
....
a lil bit more hype...
...
...
...
RM 500!!!

I still remember a few years back, on that particular Raya, I made a record high of RM 1000 just from receiving money from grown-ups... Were they feeling somehow obligated to give that much money just to prove a point and to feel good about themselves? I mean like yeah, they do give me money everytime I went back to Kluang, like maybe RM50 and stuffs, but RM500 on a single day? Had they done something terribly wrong that it's worth RM500? But what the heck right, their guilty conscience renovated my pocket to be a little bit more deeper and harder to burn through...haha.

I do think that this reason of mine, is indeed logical simply because to earn some extra cash. But strangely, weirdly, I never knew what happened to all that money though. I was still immature to handle that amount of money at that particular time so my mom, like any other typical, good mothers out there, decided to keep the money for my future's sake....yeah right. haha...

But damn it, this year, I only made....RM 150.

DAMN YOU AMERICAN CAPITALISTIC TRADING SYSTEM!!!! BECAUSE OF UNCLE SAM, I AM SUFFERING!!!!!!!

Moving on, second reason is the food. Oh my god, the food, I tell you, it's like tasting a teenie tiny microscopic bit of heaven.

Ketupat=RM 2.80

Sambal kacang= RM 2.00

Rendang daging= RM 4.50

Kuah lodeh (this is what us javanese call it..ala, yang kuah putih tu)= RM 1.50

Combine them all together= PRICELESS.

Am I being too critical here by stating that them raya food are indeed better than sex, drugs, and alcohol COMBINED? No, no...what am I saying. Nothing beats them three...haha.

And dudes, in particular the dudettes, I MAKE MY OWN BLOODY KETUPAT...yeah, as in find the bloody tree where I can get them bloody ketupat leaves, anyam them bloody ketupat leaves to make it all cute and square, and boil them bloody cute ketupats so that I can later fill ma stomach with them. So girls, what do you guys think of me now? kening2...lol.

And don't get me started with them kuih-muih. My favourite, them cornflakes with honey holding them little flakes together, sprinkled with sesame seeds and little pieces of fruits. ESTACY!!!

BUT WAIT!!! I discovered a new version, cornflakes with chocolate sauce. That's not the thing that I'm so eager to tell you though, you eat both of these two versions TOGETHER.

The taste?
Honey+chocolate...
LEGENDARY!!!
LEGENDARY I TELL YOU!!!

Haha...anyway, guys, these are the two main reasons to why I celebrate Hari Raya.

But wait, what about them forgiving each other and stuffs you ask?

What about them forging stronger relationships with your relatives and stuffs you ask?

What about them religious side of raya and stuffs you ask?

Chill, I will touch on them more sensitive matters in my hopefully, next blog entry. I'm still in festive mood to write stuffs that are sensitive and provocative.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 26th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

Tonight's top 10 are....

2009-09-08T14:37:00.002+08:00

Tonight, we would see 10 questions that I'd personally encountered that ranked as my personal best, in terms of being the most bizzarre that is. And sekarang tengah sangap Late Show with David Letterman...kira parody la ni...lol. DRUMROLL FRANK!!!

10. Eh, you are not the father? I thought your father was the son leh....

9. Were you on tv last night?

8. Is Obama really your uncle?

7. You and Brian, both from the same mother?

6. You're speaking Chinese or Mandarin?

5. You're not married?

4. Mister, is your baby a boy or a girl?

3. Eh, how come your mother is bigger than your father and you are bigger than both of them?

2. The condoms are on sale sir, how many boxes do you want?

AND MY NUMBER 1, ALL TIME BIZZARE-EST QUESTION THAT PEOPLE HAD EVER ASKED ME...

1. People tell me the reason you grown so big is because of your circumcision(berkhatan)....is it true?

We'll now take a break for the commercials but don't go anywhere, the Late Show will be right back...lol.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 25th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

You know what comedy is?

2009-09-02T10:11:00.002+08:00

hahahahahahaha....I'm writing this particular entry with terabytes of laughter to spare after reading some of them postings from my fellow dudes and dudettes(a female dude...), going through some myspace profiles, going through some of the pictures that they have, and so on. Without wasting anymore time, let's move on to the good parts...

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise the fact that some of the dudettes that I know have this very, very, very, VERY SOFT underbelly towards the needs of affection, attention, "love" and care from the dudes that they know. I mean girl, you're like less than a bloody month after your recent break-up, and now, after all the crap, shit and nonsense that were clearly stated for everyone in the world wide web to clearly see about you not needing a new dude, you found yourself a new guy...a guy that you deem as your messiah to save you from all them bloody needs of yours.

Yeah, I am a non-believer of true love, hopefully that fact will change, god's willings, but you're another prove that further justify my stand that there is no such thing as true love. Bloody hate me all you want, but I could still clearly remember all them alleged great things you said of your former love. AND I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE THING YOU SAID ABOUT YOU CAN'T FORGET HIM AND STUFFS. Is it just me or could women be these great mythological beings that are able to fully control their feelings regarding their past words and actions so that they will constantly feel good about themselves?

Yeah I'm jealous, jealous for realising that women are afraid of me, jealous that I could never be that dude that girls fancy, jealous that this whole bloody world is all about first impressions and superficiality and mundane constructs talking about mundane matters when it comes to the art of courtship... But hey, I come accustomed to the fact that I can't always get what I want... Because of that, I will admit that writing this entry is one of the ways to voice out my frustration...besides meeting the shrink...lol.

Kepada sesiapa yang terasa, first thing in your mind must be "I think this dude must be so bloody pathetic that he is way too bloody lonely and way too bloody stupid to have any bloody friends moreover a bloody girlfriend..." Hahaha...aduyai, suke hati la wey. I'm just writing all these things as my personal source of humour, to see and let others know that people are willing to do stupid stuffs when they're "IN LOVE". Sape lagi yang nak hina and maki lebih, silakan, 013-6465028...lol.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to read a particular blog where the particular writer hates this particular person, writes it in the blog, with the name of the person that was being hated nowhere to be seen, and at the end of the blog, this particular quote appears:

"I really don't wanna fight with you, but because you're being such an arrogant ass, you leave me no choice but to write this in my blog. If you do eventually reads this, it was your fault that I write all these stuffs..."

haha...yeah, funny isn't it? You're involving yourself in a conflict but still opting to stay on the fence? Screw the other person for acts of asshood but screw you harder for not voicing it out to him. Screw the other person for being oblivious and obnoxious but screw you harder for not dealing it the right way.

But what about these things that i'm doing you ask? Hahaha, the acts of making an ass out of yourself as mentioned above are not worrisome complications for me...they're my source of humour and laughter. I have no problems whatsoever with the dudes and duddetes that I observed to have done them pretty funny things. I think that the things that you guys had done should be known by everyone...I should share the joy and laughter right? Keep on doing it, other than sex, drugs, and alcohol, you guys are the things that's keeping my sanity in check...haha.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise this particular person is trying too hard to be innocent. Do you really think that I'll accept the fact that you're saying you never, ever, ever, ever watched porn in your life? And you're saying that it's all disgusting and stuffs...and you're from KL...that's just pure comedy... Look at the way you dress, look at the way you act and talk, even a bloody guy that is visually impared can sense your hypocrisy miles away...

Come on la...we're bloody 18 year olds already... We can be open about our sexuality, we can talk matters that are "matured", heck, we can even get married for god's sake...

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise someone being something that that particular someone is denying of not being. You're saying you're not gedik, but look at how you spell them words in your blog, look at how you construct them words in your blog and look at the things you write about in your blog.

First time adding you in myspace, you're telling me not to forget to comment your pics. Aduyai...why are you so bloody insecure? And judging by them pics, yeah, it is safe to say that you are indeed gedik.

You know what comedy is? Comedy is to realise that things might not be as good as you had planned. You hate me, and you talk bad about me behind my back. And you act to be all friendly and nice in front of me. You think that no one would tell me about all the stuffs you tell them. Haha...too bad, they told me.

I guess if you're not talking to me after this, or you're fighting with other friends of yours that are my friends too, I think you had already read this particular entry and decided that it's time for you to drop the act.

Last one, you know what comedy is? Comedy is where you succesfully escape a RM600 fine from the police after committing multiple traffic offences by acting all poor, desperate, and innocent. Aren't Malaysian law enforcers just great, respectful individuals? lol...

Again, I would like to stress out that all the things mentioned above, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS WITH IT. I'm just sharing it with everybody so that they too can read about it and we all can have a good laugh together...that's all.

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 24th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it....cheers.

White lies....

2009-08-29T06:30:00.004+08:00

This thing had bothered me for quite some time now...especially after knowing a sensational revelation a few days back that I must admit managed to rocked my world... A white lie, something that is subjective yet ironically, people have this tendency to view it as an obligation of usage when it comes for the saving of a particular person of interest...especially when it involves feelings.

So my question is, what and where is that ultimate borderline which separates our conscience into telling that particular person that it is enough, it is time to tell the truth or ok, this thing I'm doing, is for the best interest of everyone, so it's not a bad thing.

You and this particular friend of yours, you guys are one heck of a bloody great team. You guys had been best friends through thick and thin. Both of you shared the joys and pain of life, both of you were there for each other when anyone of you needs the other half in desperate times. You two are like brothers or sisters, but only of different mothers. But, you knew all of the bad things that the other half had done. You told him or her that they should stop doing all them bad deeds. But no, the other half didn't listen...they kept on doing the stuffs that are morally wrong...and, they asked for you to unconsciously enable all them bad things that they're doing...example, by not telling his or her parents the truth about the things that their child had done behind their backs. In your mind, yeah, for old time's sake, for best friends sake, a white lie won't harm anybody.

Another situation, you and your bf or gf had been together for quite some time. Amidst the joy, fun and thrill of having a soul mate, you think that the special one is perfect....no flaw is possible in front of your eyes that might depict him or her in a negative manner. One particular date together, your mate tells you that it should be time for both of you to try out "something new". The possibilities of the term "something new" is abstract and broad...it's up to you readers to judge what are the possible "new" things that are morally wrong, and most importantly, against what your religion is all about. I will not touch on matters such as these. Your mate asks you whether you're ok with it or not, you wanted to say no, but in your mind, yeah, for coupling's sake, for the sake of being in the moment, for your mates sake, for the sake of trying new things out, for the sake of not being dumped, you say it's ok, a white lie won't harm anybody.

Different situation, you found out that one of your siblings had done something bad, something horribly bad that it's simultanaeously horrible and disgusting. If that particular sibling of yours is older than you, he or she will just give you that look of "DO NOT BLOODY TELL NO ONE ABOUT THIS...IF NOT, YOU'RE SCREWED!!!". If you're older than that particular sibling of yours, he or she will just give you that "Please don't tell anyone about this....I'm begging you, nobody needs to know. Please have mercy on me..." look. Your conscience is telling you to do the right thing, but in your mind, yeah, for siblings sake, for the sake of having mercy, for the sake of not humiliating your siblings, for the sake of being a supposedly good older influence, for the sake of not being hated for the rest of your life, for the sake of not receiving the cold shoulder treatment, you shut that conscience up, and say that it's ok, a white lie won't harm anybody.

Last one, your friend uses your other friend in order to get something out of the victim. After finally achieving the aim, your friend is starting to have doubts and guilt over the whole thing that had happened to the victim. But the victim didn't realised it, so your friend is asking you not to tell the victim over what had happened to him or her without they knowing it. Your conscience is telling you to do the right thing, but in your mind, yeah, for friends sake, for the sake of not hurting anybody's feelings, for the sake of some things should just be kept secret, for the sake of not wanting to make matters worst, for the sake that time itself would be enough to heal the wound and cover up the mistake, you shut your conscience up, and say that it's ok, a white lie won't harm anybody.

People, what is it that drives us to succumb to the whispers and allure of this particular conception of being a saviour, or being a soul that needs saving? Is it trully possible to save anyone based on lies? Can the definiton of a lie be altered only because you think it's not a bad thing to do so? Could the consequences of dealing with lies be thrown away simply because of our intentions? Is it possible to get away from the true consequences of lying? And most importantly, is it ok for you to lie in order to escape another police ticket?

Oh, and don't get me wrong. I do deal in lies...EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Lying to me is like porn, without it, MY LIFE IS INCOMPLETE!!! haha... I'm asking because yeah, I am just that curious.... And damn it, don't make it look so bloody obvious that you're trying to judge me as a bad person...I admitted before of being a hypocrite, we all are, the only difference is whether we show it for others to see or not. At least now I can watch porn with this bloody monkey off my back...lol...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 23rd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

People with power.

2009-08-09T01:43:00.002+08:00

Well, my heart opens up to write on the above subject as to the fact I was pulled over by two cops while on my way to Alamanda last night. I had always been wondering, for them people who are influential in something, any particular thing, do they actually know that they're in some way, somehow, playing God?

Back to the cops thing. Ok, I was pulled over by two cops because apparently, they somehow blocked this secluded road on route to Alamanda by pulling over people that they SUSPECT to have broken the law only by glancing upon them for like only 3 or 5 seconds. And I thought that because the road was supposed to be secluded, what are the chances of meeting a bloody cop right, furthermore two of them...but yeah, somehow, all the 8 planets managed to allign themselves, all the powers in the cosmos banded together so that on that particular night, on a particular road where it was supposed to be secluded, on a particular road that I always took before this without bumping into any cops, on that particular trip to Alamanda, precisely at that particular moment, yeah, they're this two bloody cops...damn it... Oh, and I was riding with a friend as my passenger...double damn it...

They asked for my license and IC, so I gave it to them without any complaints...they got two bloody guns for God's sake. My fist strikes hard and fast, but not faster than a speeding bullet... Anyway, up till that moment and time, I could only hope that I wouldn't get a ticket because my license was only L and I pasted no L on my bike. Crossing my fingers, I was preparing my mind to think out of an elaborate excuse, A.K.A a white lie in order to flee another ticket. Mind you that I already had a RM 300 fine that was still waiting for me at home embracing me everytime I entered through the front door of my room with it's despicable and sarcastic laugh...celaka. And my mom doesn't know about it...yet...lol.

"Bang, L mane? Tak lekat pun kat moto.."

"Erm, ni moto second...moto first ade lekat...kat umah."

"Pastu L, tapi bawak orang. Mane leh camtu dik..." It seems that after looking at my IC, only then they realised that I was only a bloody 18 year old...lol.

"Tak, dah buat P dah...baru jer last week buat. Tak dapat lagi..." Yeah, a white lie...

"Dah setahun baru nak buat P?" Oh shit, he's right. Come on Aiman, THINK!!!

"Tu sebab ade dua bro. Pass lesen kete lu...baru moto." REBOUND!!! lol...

"Abis tu, tak kan la banyak kali kot fail moto..."

I swallowed my pride...

"Lima kali bro...haha... Tak power ar pasal moto ni..." I was trying to make him feel that I'm this dush, so that he'll think that I'm inferior than him, giving him this illusion that he has authority over the whole situation....yeah, I'm an evil genius!!! Fist bump.....

They gave this little expression to each other that I was this budak kampung or something. I was kinda disgusted, but anything to escape a fine...lol.

"So bro, ni kene saman ke tak ni?"

"Nak kene ke tak?"

"Kalo boleh, bagi warning je boleh tak?" Fingers crossed, I kept quite and hoped for the best.

"Ok, dah, gerak. Laen kali aku jumpa ko tak lekat P, siap ko..."

I told my partner to get back on the bike, and we both continued our journey to Alamanda.

After that little thing with the police, with the law to be precise, I wanna ask my dear readers, what makes people think that they can play God all of a sudden? To be frank, first of all, I'm jealous with people with power...because I don't have as much power as they do. Secondly, I pity them because they're such a pathetic reason of a human being when they abuse their power and authority. Lastly, they use their authority and influence to make decisions that could alter a person's life.

I still remember my MARA loan interview last March, for the final question, they asked:

"What question do you want to ask us my boy?" I was kinda hoping that this sort of question would come out because I practiced in front of the mirror with the question a bloody lot of times. When the question came, yeah, like Barney Stinson seeing Asian girls with big boobs in bars, my mouth became all watery all of a sudden...lol.

"Erm, no offence, but I want to ask that what makes you three people think that you guys are capable and qualified to judge a young boy or girl based on some 5 minutes interview and a resume on his past achievements in school? Is it because you guys are much older than us? You guys are more experienced than us? You guys had done this thing for such a long time that you guys are experts in decoding any person in 5 minutes time? I mean do you think that you guys are willing to hold responsible to answer to The Big Guy above one day because of the answer between a "YES" or a "NO" could somehow effect a person's life, possibly denying a person of a better future because you guys managed to succesfully decode a person in 5 minutes time into being eligible or not into accepting this loan?"

Yeah, they answered...but I wasn't quite listening because I was pretty tired at that particular time and my mind was already set on getting to bed once I reached home....lol.

Dear readers, my point being, it had always intrigued me on how these people with power managed to sleep at night knowing that they're the only ones that are comforting themselves, telling themselves that they had made all the right decisions on matters regarding other people. I mean, do they actually have this power into controlling their conscience and manipulate them into telling themselves that they are indeed capable and have every rights to control such powers to determine the outcomes of others that were supposed to be carved out by the other people themselves?

My advice, to them aspiring leaders, just think about it very thoroughly when you're about to have power in your hands to decide the outcomes of many different important things that will effect many different things either directly or indirectly. I trully believed that I could be just one question away from not getting that MARA loan because to be frank, without the question that I'd just asked them, they'll probably think that I'm just this normal guy...no biggie...there are many people like me in this world...I'm just not THAT guy that they're searching for...not THAT guy that contains the X-factor...

Only now I trully understood the meaning of:

"With great powers come great responsibilities..."

Again, Hollywood, thank you....

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 22nd blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Something good from watching TV.

2009-07-26T15:08:00.002+08:00

I was watching How I Met Your Mother on the internet like 4 hours straight from 12 am till 4 am just now, after that, Stacked and then Whose Line Is It Anyway on StarWorld. Yeah...I love comedy. 5 hours of laughing your ass off early in the morning...alone....in a dark room...ahhh... Yeah Barney Stinson, UP HIGH!!!

Anyway, today's blog entry would be about relationships; how we do it, and how people in the West do it. Yeah yeah, I know, I'm not a big fan of writing stuffs about lovey-dovey things but sometimes, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... After watching HIMYM, which is a pretty awesome show, UP HIGH BARNEY STINSON, I must say that how most of us based serious relationships on foundations that are....shakey. Exemptions of my observations, shut up, this entry is not about you. NOTE THE WORD "most"...not "all".

EXHIBIT 1

Boy likes girl. Girl playing hard to get. Boy not confident, scared so he get the girl's number from her friend. The girl somehow overlooks that flaw and find him somehow interesting. They contacted each other, VIA MESSAGES, for a few weeks. Romantic poems here, daily cheesy messages through the phone, chocolates there, a little bit of pixie dust, bang, boom, pow, they're a couple, they love each other. AND THEN THEY DECIDE TO GO OUT ON THEIR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.

EXHIBIT 2

Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Both are scared and shy to make the first move. A friend play match-maker and introduced them to each other. Yada yada yada, bla bla bla, pixie dust, BOOM! They're a couple, they both love each other. AND THEN THEY DECIDE TO GO OUT ON THEIR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.

EXHIBIT 3

Girl likes boy. Boy's confident, handsome, hard to get, and flirtatious. Boy initiated the first move. Girl's practically dying due to over-excitement and will do and say yes to anything to the boy. Yada yada yada, bla bla bla, pixie dust, BOOM! They're a couple, they both love each other. AND THEN THEY DECIDE TO GO OUT ON THEIR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.

EXHIBIT 4

Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Both are confident. Both watch Hollywood romantic movies. Both are open-minded. Both like to take it slow. Both went to more than just one or two dates. Obviously, both have experience in dating and relationships before. Yada yada yada, bla bla bla, pixie dust, BOOM! They're a couple, they both love each other.

Out of the 4 examples, I am willing to bet that the last one would last longer than all the first three combined. That is because they take it slow. One thing about being a couple, we all wanna know our partners better, we all wanna know all them teenie tiny secrets and details that make our partners special. But through the phone? Texting? Words written and shown on a screen? Well, one thing's for sure is that we can only know whether that guy or girl is good with words or not...that's all.

In them first world countries, people get to know others that they are interested in better by going on dates. In fact, they are willing to go on many dates because to them, building a relationship with that special person is a process of trial and error which takes more than just once or twice. They need to kiss lots of frogs before finding the prince. To them, by going on dates, they can get to know the other person outside the responsibilities that are clutching them when you see them everyday at school or college. Because outside of these responsibilities, they will not try as hard as they were to act good, be nice, or be a saint because they felt that this is their time, their space, their rewards and they will use it their way.

They go on first dates. And if they like how their partners looked on the inside, they will be a second date. And things will move forward from then onwards if things are turning to be positive. And if the other partner decides to act like a person he or she is not, as we all know, these people might as well just bloody rot in hell.

Personally, I think that this is the utter most ideal way, or should I say, Idealest...UP HIGH STINSON, for a person to build new relationships, if not serious ones. Because this way, one can see their partners in more ways than one. One can view their partners in many angles as much as them handphones, myspace, or even yahoo messengers could only possibly do...but by going on dates, yeah, the angle is infinite. Am I sounding dirty on something...haha.

And furthermore, people who are serious about relationships care about this little thing I call I-Love-You-ginity. To these people, this thing is like their virginity. They can only lose it once. Because of this, they want it to be really, really, really meaningful and the person that will be receiving it, is one heck of a lucky fella. But for virginity, once you decided that you want to put a hole on someone, or let it be drilled by someone, whether you mean it or not, you will lose it forever. FIST BUMP STINSON...

I once asked my friend a question. I asked him that you said I LOVE YOU to this particular girl, many times, and because we are humans and we can't see the future, let's just say that if one day you two are to break up due to some unknown reason, what is the worth of I LOVE YOU to the new girl some 3 months, 5 months, 1 year, or even 5 years later? The dude is my friend...so I won't humiliate him....here at least...haha.

And words like BOYFRIENDS and GIRLFRIENDS mean something to these people too. They will not go on a first or second date and call each other their BFs or GFs soon after that.

But dude, the things that you are saying, those are for couples that are serious, that actually wanna get married to each other you say? And besides, you're not even in any relationship, what makes you think that you can give us lessons on relationships. Well, if that's the case, all I'm saying, view that three sacred words from a different view from now on. Or tone it done or something. The rights to date someone is totally yours, the rights to like someone is totally yours, I respect that. That is why I never told anyone of you to not like someone or not to go on dates. Most of my friends are either still in school, college, as old as me, or if older, would be at around 20 or 21, I'm just saying you guys should just tone it down a bit...the I love you part. Because people like me are a little bit offended if you guys keep on changing partners like changing condoms...how I wish those people can get AIDS or something...haha.

People, I might be a pessimistic, narcissistic, sarcastic, pathetic reason of a human being. But this human being still believes that love, true love is out there somewhere. In a place where it is surrounded by a tall brick wall, with sentries and dogs guarding and a mote surrounding it with alligators, crocodiles, and piranhas in it... =_=' A rare, miraculous natural phenomenon that occurs only when it receives orders from God personally to do so. A hypocritical romantic perhaps? Well, each and every one of us is a hypocrite so yeah, it's not too bad to be called a hypocritical romantic...or should I say hypomantical....yeah...totally nailed it...HIGH FIVE!!!

Readers, all I'm saying, there will constantly be people looking at those couples who are being soooooo bloody happy in front of everyone else with the green-eyed monster as their friend. They are at wits end thinking how on earth does this dude keep on changing partners..changing soul mates...changing the love of their life at a weekly or months basis. These people are the ones that should be given a chance to be with the partners or their friends, because they view love as something sacred and godsend. But because life ain't perfect, and that badass brick wall with sentries, dogs, crocodiles, and piranhas still guarding this little thing called love, and it have not received personal orders from God Himself to roll out, yeah, these people can only fantasize and hope something good will happen to them...eventually. haha...

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 21st blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Who bloody says that size doesn't matter, is a freaking bloody asshole...haha.

2009-07-17T13:20:00.006+08:00

Haha...as you guys may get some clue on what this following blog entry might be about, yes, it is, it's about size. Physical size in general and my physical size to be precise..haha. Oh, and I'm writing this particular entry because I saw many people out there, that had this same problem as me, but are powerless to voice out their opinion and rights. I'm trying to help out my fellow brothers and sisters... And I wanna see how many girls will eventually change their view on me after reading this particular entry....(fingers crossed) haha...

Anyway, if some of you guys, not the ones that I'd met, want to picture out on how I looked like...roughly, well, the first thing that I'm most proud of is my height. Imagine me being in the following information first...

I stand at a centimetre ruling of...

wait for it...

...

wait for it...

...

still not enough hype....

...

a little bit more...

...

this is gonna be legendary....

...

....

180cm!!!! HAHAHA...

I'm proud to say that I'm one of them few Malaysians left in this WORLD that actually reached that milestone height of 180cm because frankly speaking....most Malaysian men are short. And seriously, in Europe, 180cm is like the minimum height you need to be in order to pick up chicks in bars....kening2 ^_^ haha...

So, ladies, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS BLOODY WAITING FOR!!!?? THIS GENE IS LIKE THE HOLY GRAIL FOR YOU LADIES TO GET EXTRA TALL CHILDREN!!!! FAST!!!! And to the ones that I'm keeping my eyes to....you girls SHOULD FEEL LUCKY!!! YOU HEARD??? haha...

And now, let's move on to the physical side of my story that I'm not too comfortable with...my weight. I now weigh in at a kilogram measurement of....

wait for it...

...

wait for it...

...

a little bit more...

...

102kg!!!! hahahaha...haha...ha..h..ah...ha...

I guess the combination of Javanese genes from my mom's side of the family, and my dad's genes, which came from somewhere up north, results in this bloody huge guy named Aiman Aqeem Toreq...or better still, Aiman Toreq...haha.

BUT!!!! Before you close your eyes in disbelief and horror, I need to remind you that I was 123kg like some 5 years ago...back in form 1...waduh...THE HORROR!!! haha.. Aiyo, before this, I was pretty ashamed to let my friends know that I actually hit that dreaded 3 figures mark in the weight department...but after watching House, I must say that, sometimes, you really need to be able to laugh at yourself with other people so that you won't take all things too seriously.

Don't get me wrong...being overweight is a bad thing; you need to wear extra big clothes, extra big pants, extra big shoes, extra big underwears, control your eating in which is a bloody hard thing to do, and the worst thing that can happen, is that people making jokes about you. And I'm still facing the problems of a person that is overweight because the fact still remains that...I'm overweight...

I was pretty stressed out back in my younger years but after learning the fact that if you make jokes about yourself first and better than anyone else can do it, and people actually laughed along with you, people tend to think that you're funny, approachable, and to a certain extend, quite intelligent. I still remembered that when guys make fun of my weight, I'll say things like:

"Tayar pancit? Bocor la sengal..."

"Kete ni senget? Ye ar...aku turun sekarang...jalan kaki balik..."

"Nope....I didn't do anything.." (When the KTM train stopped or turned abruptly)

"Teet teeet teeet...overload.." (When entering a tuna can-like lift)

"Ye ye...aku makan besi angkat telo..."

"Wey...jalan pelan sikit....aku lapar ni...."

And when girls, some of them open-minded ones that actually do commented on my weight, I'll say things like:

"Geli konon...tau ar ko suke...."

"Ok...next time, aku pakai baju yang ketat-ketat cam korangnyer..."

"Wey...aku ade spare tyre tau if the car broke down or anything..."

"Gelak2...makan kang..."

and my favourite...

wait for it...

...

wait for it....

...

"Bising ar ko...malam tadi tak banyak bunyi pon...." ^_^ Get it? haha...

I still feel kinda upset and stressed out when people makes fun about my weight, but hey, at least I know how to improvise and make it less hurtful. Apparently, no matter what people say about not to give a damn on what others think about you, TRUST ME, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY GIVE A DAMN because first, you live in this place call society. Second, body chemicals that will constantly effect your body, emotions, and mind. And lastly, humans tend to be insecure.

ANYWAY...you guys must admit that a 20 kg drop in my weight is a pretty cool achivement. I still have that very, very, very old spare tyre that had been with me for a bloody long time, but at least the spare tyre is slowly and steadily getting smaller right? haha...gelak2...makan kang...

In the end of the day, I'm just saying that to the ones that actually made fun of me, with or without me noticing, with them fat jokes and everything, you guys just keep in mind that it is possible for ANYONE to lose weight....but NOT EVERYONE, in particular Malaysians, can actually reach that 180cm mark.

And remember, with the constant advancement in medical science and plastic surgery technology, in the future, they are bound to be more than one way for me to lose weight the easy way. Liposuction, sauna, gastric bypass, pills, drinks, and them exercise machines that helped you to lose weight even without you noticing are the techonologies that existed today are bound to be more advanced in the future. I lost 20 kg the hard way...imagine what will happen when I eventually do embrace the easy way of losing weight....yeah...I know...one word...LEGENDARY!!! haha..

But what about height enhancement technologies you ask? Oh...yes, first, you have this surgery where the doctor put in a spare metal section into your spine to make you have an extra spine column in order for you to grow an inch taller. Next you'll have the treatment in which they split your tibia into two, and then they'll screw the two section up with an iron bar. Lastly, my favourite. They'll make you go through this radiation treatment to your head in which they'll enlarge your skull, making your head bigger, thus making you look tall with a bigger head...

I have witnessed their capacity for insolence, we are indeed worlds apart, but not like us, there's little to them than just being skin deep. I am Aiman Toreq, and I send this message to any other pugilist out there that are feeling down, lonely, and on the verge of giving up: Don't give in, because if you do, it proves that they are right and what you had been fighting for all these while, are worthless, stupid, and crap.

Recognise that? haha.... It's from a movie...which I'd done a little bit of improvising of course..

Oh, before I forget, to the people that do accepted me for how I actually looked like on the inside, and managed to see through and get pass this 180cm and 102kg frame that so many people find so bloody intimidating about, in particular to them girls, from the deepest of this shallow heart of mine, God bless you...and thank you.

Anyway, to them pretty people that constantly think that they're better than anyone else under the false pretense that their physical appearance is the ideal model for everyone else to follow, thus giving them this illusion that they can give out shameful, hurtful, and shallow remarks about the physical being of others that are not similiar to them, to me, yeah, you guys can do that. I'm ok with that. Because it's your right, it's your mouth, and there's no legal constraint that are present to deny you of that right. I can only peacefuly retaliate by improvising things or to write blog entries about it...like this....haha..

But I'm just saying, this treatment that you guys are shoving to our faces with, maybe, just maybe, someday, it will happen back to one of your family members... Your brother perhaps...sister, mother, father, uncle, grandparents, kids, aunts, nieces or maybe your decendants 1000 years from now...who knows... My point is that, someday, when this shit do eventually happen to people that are connected to you, people that you actually care about, I just hope that you guys too would peacefully retaliate by improvising things or write blog entries....haha..

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 20th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

2 movies that made me cry.

2009-07-14T15:38:00.004+08:00

I am that type of guy that will never, ever, ever, EVER shed any tears when watching any particular movie....I'm a pessimist...pessimists don't cry watching emotionally gripping movies...no matter how gripping they are...haha.

BUT...I'm still human and those feelings are still within me...mainly sadness and guilt. I will admit that they are only two movies that successfully made me cry...not that whole bloody tears running like a water hose type of crying...just 4, 5, or maybe even 6 drops of tears slowly dripping down my cheeks and of course, that warm and fuzzy feeling inside that made me felt guilty about everything for about 2 or 3 hours after watching the movie...haha.

The first ever movie that managed to bring me into a state of "sadness" was Land Before Time. It's a cartoon movie where dinosaurs could talk and sing. The main character was a Long Neck called Littlefoot, yeah, I still remember the name of the characrter...haha.

Hmmm, I saw this movie in VCD at around 8 or 9 years old. Yeah, at that particular time, my interest in dinosaurs was like...LEGENDARY!!! Dinosaur books, dinosaur toys, dinosaur pictures, dinosaur posters, dinosaur pajamas, dinosaur bags, dinosaur pencil case...you name it...I GOT IT ALL...haha... To be frank, I knew a whole bloody lot about dinosaurs if compared to my friends and my parents combined. But sadly, they were not as interested as me in dead giant lizards, and as time passes by, the interest also faded away from me. And because I watched the first two Jurassic Park movies, Tyrannosaurus Rex; yeah, that big kickass son of a bitch of a bloody giant lizard with bloody sharp razor teeth and one hell of a mouth, at that particular time, was my 9 year old version of House...haha.

Anyway, moving on to the sad part. Hmmm, I was crying like hell when this scene, where Littlefoot's mother, was on her last remaining seconds of being alive after being attacked by a Tyrannosaurus Rex, told her son that she loved him very much and he must remain strong to survive and reach the new nesting ground.

Heck, I was so bloody sad that I was practically a different kid for like 3 weeks. I ate a little, I laughed a little, I played a little, and yes, I cried a lot. And I kept on watching Land Before Time over and over and over again. My parents were starting to worry so, instead of cheering me up by telling me to forget about dinosaurs, oddly enough, they bought the first Jurassic Park movie in VCD and we all watched it together.(I guess I got that perangai pelik characteristic from them.... =_=') And strangely enough, after watching it, instead of hating T-Rex for eating and killing so many people, oddly enough, I kinda worship that kickass dinosaur....haha...dari kecik perangai dah pelik...haha.

Moving forward to a much more recent time period, just now to be precise. I watched Titanic on Star Movies at 3 p.m. just now, and strangely, I felt that feeling that was all so warm and fuzzy inside of me which I hadn't felt for a pretty long time. In particular at the tail end of the movie where the ship was sinking. Strangely, I felt that unexplained feeling after watching that everyone was dying, or accepting the fate that whey will die.

A mother telling her two children the last bedtime story in this particular life....1st drop of tears came down my cheeks.

A couple of old people hugging together on their bed realising that that will be the final few moments they will spend together in this life...2nd drop of tears came down my cheeks.

The captain deciding to go down with the ship...3rd drop of tears came down my cheeks.

A band of classical music instruments players playing some sad music and stuck to their job even when the ship is going down....4rd drop of tears came down my cheeks.

A priest saying verses from the Bible to the passengers moments before the ship broke into two...5th drop of tears came down my cheeks.

Rose let go of Jack's hand to save herself after seeing the lifeboat, looking on to him while he slowly faded away down to the deep dark ocean....6th drop of tears came down my cheecks.

The older version of Rose telling the exploration crew on how 1500 people was in the water wating for 60 lifeboat to come back in which only 1 eventually did so thus rescuing her and 5 other souls...with 1494 others left to die....7th drop of tears came down my cheecks.

And lastly, Rose imagining her being with Jack, kissing in front of everyone of the victims and being cheered on...8th drop of tears came down my cheeks.

I don't know why I just started to understand this movie now. I watched this movie, on VCD like back when I was 12 or 13 years old. But back then, it was only to see Kate Winslet's naked body...haha. Kecik2 perangai pelik...besar2 perangai pervert...waduh. =_='

Anyway, to those of you who didn't watched Titanic yet, do watch it. The acting of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio was realy, really convincing. For a moment, I believed that true love was still out there somewhere...only briefly though....haha..

So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. With that, I'd finished my first ever 19th blog entry in my entire life. Hope you guys enjoy it...cheers.

Second try driving the big ass Toyota Fortuner...haha..

2009-07-04T15:50:00.003+08:00

Haha...today was finally the day that my mom trusted me again with the keys to the Fortuner....after that little incident where I accidentally scratch the whole bloody right side of the car because I wasn't quite experienced... And I think rm 300 was really the right lesson for me that when my mom says I am not ready...she's right....she's always right...damn it...haha.

Anyway, I drove the SUV to Alamanda at around 9.30. And I swear to God, seriously, my mother can sometimes be a real annoying pain in the butt.

Aiman, where's your seatbelt!!??

Aiman, area seat tu adjustkan ikut abang...selesa ke tak.

Aiman, jangan maen gear!!! It's AUTOMATIC!!!

Aiman, signal mane signal?

Aiman, JANGAN LAJU!!!

Aiman, today's speed limit is only 40...

Aiman, round about ni...stop kat depan tu...jangan laju..

Aiman, salah tu...jangan makan lane orang laen..

Aiman dah bagi signal ke tak tadi?

AIMAN, SLOW!!!!

Aiman, focus...nanti accident susah...

Aiman, JANGAN MESSAGE!!!

Aiman, don't play with your handphone..give it to me.

Aiman, parking atas...bawah ni mama tak confident sangat.

Aiman, tu, ambik spot tu. No cars left and right. No chance for you to hit anything...(GERAM!!!)

Aiman, dah tarik handbrake belum?

Aiman, dah tutup radio belum?

Aiman dah kunci kete belum?

My ass was like itching left, right, up, down, centre...SEMUA ASYIK GATAL JER!!!! If this is only 30 minutes of driving, imagine, when my mom said:

"Time balik kampung nanti abang bawak....mama nak training abang.."

=_='

Anyway, time kat Alamanda, breakfast MCD, and then my mom went somewhere to do some girly stuffs... And I'm stuck with my brother...AZRYN ASYRAFF B. TOREQ. First thing that crossed my mind...ARCADE. So arcade it is.

I played Battle Gear...he played Daytona. I played Dance Dance Revolution...he played Rock Fever Ex. I played Superbike Racing...he played some dumbass tank game...budak2...haha. And biler time nak balik, he said:

"Abang, nak maen yang dinosaur tu boleh?"

"Duit mane duit?"

"Ape senyum-senyum? Tak de...bazir. Mahal tu... 2 ringgit...nak maut?"

"Ye la..."

I felt kinda guilty...

"Ayin, jom maen tembak zombie tu nak?"

"Buat pe? Malas ar..." (Merajuk konon...tampar laju2 kang...haha)

"Ye2...abang belanja.."

"Yey..."

Yang sengal nyer...bende tembak zombie tu, one more round, rm 2. My brother mati bukan maen banyak kali...and I end up using...

wait for it...

wait for it....

rm 20...

of my own money...

for him...

We reached the subway level....and to think of it, the dinosaur card thing, would only cost me rm2, instead of a bloody 20... Could it be possible that my brother....outsmarted me?=_='

Anyway, lunch pun MCD...but I cam paw jer my bro nyer makanan...dah pokai..celaka. Tu pun use my mom's money...bertuahnyer anak...haha..

We went back from Alamanda at around 3...and as usual, my mom punyer nagging, BERKURAB BONTOT I!!!! haha...

Anyway, there's this question in my mind. We use Myspace to meet new people right? To make new friends... To rekindle old ones... BUT, the one bloody thing that I hate is that, when I wanted to add a particular person, mostly girls, they will ask for e-mail first... SUMPAH ANNOYING... SUMPAH SAKIT HATI... SUMPAH BANGANG...

What the fuck la wey... It's only your bloody Myspace account for God's sake. You think I can trace you phone number, your home address, and be a stalker by adding you up, looking at your pictures and reaading your "About Me" section? If you do, my God, I do not know what to think of this world anymore...talking about being insecure...

Myspace is about meeting new people and creating new relationships...if there's so many barriers and forcefield for someone to get through first in order to meet and get to know you, you might just as well spend your time in bars waiting for men to start flirting with you...

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, with this, I'd finished my first ever 18th blog entry of my life. Hope you guys enjoy it...

Tribute to Michael Jackson.

2009-06-26T12:33:00.000+08:00

I was preparing myself for a brief trip to Alamanda with a couple of my friends early Friday morning, after finishing the chores my mom ORDERED me to do, we finally ride Alan's white MyVi to Alamanda to buy Transformers tickets for later that day.

We were 5 minutes into the trip when Alan said

" Ko tau tak Michael Jackson meninggal pagi tadi...pukul 5.. " I was shocked and flabbergasted to know the news. At first I didn't believe it...

" Serious? "

" Ye...kul 5 pagi tadi... "

" 5 waktu US ke Malaysia? "

" US...kalo ko x caye, ni, semua radio pasang lagu Michael Jackson.. " He turned up the radio, and Michael Jackson songs were almost on all the radio stations.

I was shocked...the very core of my soul were rocked due to the fact that...another entertainer, if not the greatest of all time, which had brought joy and wonder to millions of people worldwide with his songs and music videos, will never ever grace the entertainment scene any longer.

He's MJ, you're Aiman....you don't have anything to connect with him, he doesn't even know your existence, why are you making such a big fuss out of this you asked? Yes, you're right...he's famous, he's THE Michael Jackson and I'm just some dude from Malaysia who he doesn't even know exists...but his death brought sadness in my heart due to the fact that his songs...connected to me in many different ways that managed to brought many different feelings into life for the past 15 years of my life.

But still, you're just another fan, like millions worldwide...MEDIOCRE. So don't think that you're special in any way possible you say? Haha...well, if you only know two of his songs, which I can tell is Beat It and Smooth Criminal, then I'll say you're in no position to say anything.... Besides, this is a tribute, so don't mess it up only because your ass is too big for your mouth to swallow.

I still remember my first ever Michael Jackson song, the Earth Song. I was chilling watching NTV 7 early in the morning with music videos that they aired. I was 9 at that particular time and the music video, with all things going backwards. Destroyed buildings, fallen tress, dead animals, African natives, and even a dead person coming back into life...that music video and song just stuck in my head, stuck in my heart till now and that was the catalyst for me to learn more about MJ and his songs, thus becoming a huge fan of his.

I still remember going back to Kluang with my family, them road trips where I would tell my mom to bring out MJ's Thriller album where we, at least me, would listen to songs like Beat It, Billie Jean, and Thriller all through the 2 hour trip over and over and over again...kesian diorang...haha. I can still remember me playing air guitar, along with Eddie Van Halen when his guitar solo part comes in Beat It... I can still remember trying to eat my sister and act like a zombie when listening to Thriller...haha. I can still remember of trying to dance like Micheal when listening to Billie Jean. I was around 10 or 11 so I didn't know much about the lyrics and its' meanings..I was only enjoying the sound produced by the great entertainer.

I listened to Bad and Smooth Criminal when I felt sexy, good and mischievous...haha. I listened to Man in the Mirror when I was feeling about doing some soul searching. Catchy love songs like It's The Falling in Love, Pretty Young Thing, Baby Be Mine, I Just Can't Stop Loving You, and The Way You Make Me Feel are what I listened to when I was pumped full with testosterone and crazy about girls...haha.

Give In To Me, is the song I listened to when I was determined to own something..haha. Dirty Diana, the song I listened to when my heart was broken many times and when girls disappointed me...I sang along with Michael, only changing the Diana part with the names of the girls that I was frustrated with...somehow, it's cool yet pathetic...haha.

I listened and sang along with MJ's You Are Not Alone when I was feeling sad and lonely. I listened to You Rock My World when I was dreaming about impressing girls...haha. And lastly, I sang Black or White when I was chilling with my African friends at Lagenda...haha.

You see fellas, whether Michael is a bad or good guy, with his whole child molestation thingy, one thing is for sure, because when it comes to entertaining people with songs and powerful lyrics, throw away all the negative talks because he is trully, The King of Pop.

Micheal, whether you're looking on up or down on me, I just want you to know that it had been a privilege for me to listen to your songs. You managed to influence my life through your songs and even my mom could rarely managed to do that..and she's my mom!!! haha.

I will miss you dearly... Your songs, your dance moves, your music videos will forever be in my heart if God let me to. And I will try my best to bring the joy and wonders that you'd managed to bring to me through your songs to my friends and families so that they too can appreciate your works. See you again Micheal, hopefully, in the Afterlife. And may you rest in peace....

Love, is it over glorified?

2009-06-22T22:51:00.000+08:00

When a person is questioning the power of love, he or she is regarded by society into being either homosexual, bisexual, transexual, paedophilliac, or a serial rapist because he or she could no longer find love or affection in a way that is normal...haha. That is my definition...to this conundrum that had been bugging me since I know that 13, the hot female character from House M.D, was bisexual...damn...haha..

Anyway, why this topic came into hand is because there was this one time, a bloody long time ago, that I thought love was a sacred thing. Based on the books, novels, and movies that I encountered before, which were largely influenced by Hollywood, I always thought that I will end up being a knight in shining armour, riding his trusted steed, off rescuing my dream danzel in distress where we will eventually fall in love, have lots of kids(WHICH IS A MUST..haha), and live happily ever after. Ahhh...good times...but thanks to House, that was a far cry and now, I kinda despise those who are in love...no offence...haha.

I came across a few of my friends, which led a different life from me, in which they told me that they had already had...wait for it,

....

this is going to be legendary...

SEX!!!

And what was more shocking than the fact that most of them were as old as me was that their partners...girls as young as 13 years old, whom are just knowing the harshnest of live, had been penetrated by the male organ of love... I asked them that they do know that they can be sent to jail by having sex with a minor...and their replies were:

" Dah diorang nak dulu..aku pon tebok jer la.. "

" Ala...diorang tu yang nak sangat...mula-mula start raba...pastu diorang nak lebih, aku pun sapu!! "

" Tebok x pecah...tebok setakat cocok-cocok jer... "

And I was like.... " WHAT THE FUCK... "

I wasn't being judgemental...well I was just a little bit...haha. I was trying to understand what was the feeling of doing that, what are the causes because I never experienced it, HONEST!!!, and I was quite curious...haha..

BELIEVE ME!!! I AM STILL A BLOODY VIRGINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

" Bapak ar korang...best giler... Ko tau zaman aku, nak pegang, nak sentuh, NAK BAU PERFUME DIORANG pun susah ko tau tak!!?? " was my reply....haha..

" Tu la ko...sape suruh x nak try...best wey... "

" Aku nak tanye, pompuan sekarang murah ke ataupun korang power....sebab budak umor 13 tahun pun korang leh dapat... "

" MESTI AR KITORANG POWER!!! Haha... "

" Serious!!?? " haha...kantoi cam tu jer aku x caye...

" Hmmm, betul kot cakap ko...mungkin la yang pompuan sekarang ni...dak2 sekolah sekarang ni..murah... "

Seriously, I was flabbergasted. I thought all these while that these stuffs that were happening, are only in AMERICA!!! Not in Malaysia... My God...

" So camne? Best x? "

" WO!!! KETAT!!! Nangis2 diorang.. "

I gave out a brief smile...and a laugh to hide the facts that these people, are living practically behind my house. In the same residential area...damn. I never asked them whether they felt guilty or not because I never like having a conversation with others regarding religion...

Anyway, that's the first case. Second case is where I find this particular profile in Myspace. A few days ago, I was doing some of them paedophilliac activities, browsing through Myspace searching for my next victim...seriously, I didn't do that...haha...just trying to see whether you guys are still with me. Anyway, I came across this particular one because the default pic was quite cute. I thought the girl was like in form 2 or 3. But she was only....

wait for it...

...

12 years old.

The one thing that struck me so hard that I can felt it all the way through my ass was...

wait for it...

...

SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND.

THERE ARE IN LOVE.

SHE LOVES HIM VERY MUCH.

SHE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM.

SHE'LL DO ANYTHING FOR HIM.

AND THEY WANT TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....this is too funny!!!

And it turned out that her boyfriend, was also a 12 year old...because he always play football in front of my house and I know him. Sweet Lord...two 12 year olds...already committing like married couples...with marriage vows...I don't know what to think anymore...

Third case, I came across lots of profiles in Myspace where couples, in particular girls, declaring their love out loud for the public to know... Profile siap are gambar partner masing2, ayat jiwang2 and geli, and yang paling annoying, bende kecik kat tepi tu, ade gambar katun laki ngan pompuan tengah jalan across a ruler or something, stating that they had already been together for how long...

First few times, I thought it was funny. When it isn't that funny anymore, I tried to figure out a reason on why these people are doing it.

My conclusion:

They are trying to stamp out a statement to society, to the public, to their social circle in particular, how much is their "value". It's like rappers these days showing off their Humvees, their tricked out Escalades, their blings and stuffs. What they are trying to do is that they are stating that they are powerful, famous and rich.

This goes the same to them couples that are showing off their partners and " their power of love " for everyone to see.

Check out my girl man...she's so bloody cute and pretty, I'm sure that I'm better than you because I have her and you don't and if she decides to leave me, I can get girls out there that are way hotter if not as pretty as her.

Bitches, be jealous. This dude is mines...look at us with anger and envy because what you want, is what you can't have. You are trying to be like us, LIKE ME, and that's pathetic...

I admit that I was jealous to know that a certain guy could get one heck of a bloody girl, but beneath that, I know that these people who are doing these things, are trying too hard to cover up their superficiality until they don't know how to lie. Give me one good reason, in regards to love, on why they are doing these thing...JUST ONE RATIONAL REASON, and I'll take all my words back.

To everyone that are reading this, I'm not being bias, maybe just a little bit, but I am trying pretty hard to understand the reasons on why these things are happening, that are slowly but surely compromising and tarnishing the good name of love.

And girls, please do not take any of my words personally. I love you guys, EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. I respect you guys because I have a pretty powerful, influential, and great woman in my life that had proven to me what women can do but I'm just trying to be as open as possible, as reasonable as possible, on discussing these problems. I am wondering, for the first case, is it really really really true that school girls these days....are more open about their....sexuality and willingness to try new things if compared to their conservative counterparts 3 or 4 years ago? When a 12 year old knows these things, it will really make you think things...haha.

I want to believe that love is still sacred, love is still strong, love is the reason on why the Earth is spherical, that makes the world go round, but with the few examples that I had given you, I really do hope that it would make you think twice on this thing that we take for granted, it's true meaning and value.

So there you have it...ladies and gentlemen, with that, my first ever 16th blog entry in my life is finished...haha.

The things that girls had done to me...

2009-06-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, but for these past few days, weeks in fact, there is this one bloody thing that keeps on circulating in my mind over and over and over again. This thing is stuck in my head thus leading me to write a new entry about it. Since you guys had read the title, SPOILER ALERT, it's about women.

I kept on thinking about them, like...more than once a day. Don't know why... And mind you, it's not due to me watching to much porn...or is it? haha..Seriously ladies, it's not because of that...

Anyway, after a few days doing some soul searching of my own, I decided that it is time for me to do a tribute to the women that had rocked my world, either physically or mentally, or sexually or not sexually...haha.

This tribute is written according to a timeline which starts from 1991 till 2009. I will try my best to remember all the girls and all the stuffs that they had done to me....sound so bloody horny..haha.

1991

-This particular girl gave birth to me. She nursed me inside her belly for 9 months, giving me all the tender loving care that every man should receive. But sadly, I can't remember a thing...haha. When delivering me is due on the 15th of March, the doctor decided that I was too bloody big and decided to let me die in her belly. BUT SHE SAID NO!!! She said she will risk a C-Section in order for me to live...and I did. You guys do know that I was just dramatising the last part right? To add a little bit of suspense...haha. Of all the women that I had met, this girl is the most special, awesomest, coolest, amazingest, and legendariest one...haha.

1992

-The girl I mentioned above gave birth to another important girl in my life. I envy her because she came out of my mother the natural way...damn. And I started to feel that she is taking all the spotlight and attention...haha.

1995

-A girl gave me my first ever birthday party that I can remember.

-A girl made me cried so hard because we were moving from Selayang to Kajang, leaving all my good friends there.

1996

-A particular girl gave me my first ever Lego set. From that day onwards, I know that I will eventually become an engineer.

1997

-A girl gave me my first bicycle. From that day onwards, I know that I will eventually become a Moto GP rider.

-A girl introduced me to another girl and then she introduced me to a boy that some people say is my twin but only of different skin colour...haha. And thank God, up to this day, I'm very thankful to have met that boy...

1998

-For the first time in my life, I met a lot of girls that are whiter and fairer than me. And they speak of a language that I do not understand.

-A girl speaks of a language that I don't understand, and blaming me for it...=_='

-They are girls that made me feel inferior and lonely.

-A special girl came into my life by teaching me the secrets and technique to speak and understand the language that once made me feel like a lesser form of life.

1999

-The first girl that I mentioned above, gave birth to a boy. And this boy, came out the same way I did..because he was too big. But not as big as me...haha.

2000

-A girl made me felt all warm and fuzzy inside, even though I do no know what it was at that particular time.

-Three girls helped carry me to meet a doctor after I had twisted my ankle...haha.

-A girl showed me that discipline is the only thing that is important to become a success.

-A girl whipped my ass...or is it hands, with a cane in front of everyone..haha.

-A girl made me felt afraid of her.

-A girl made me felt afraid towards Chinese spelling...haha.

-A girl made me felt inferior again...haha.

2001

-A girl kept doing the things from 2000...damn...

-A girl made me sat in a special place...DAMN...

-A girl made me start to hate her.

-A girl made me feel powerless.

-I started to treat a girl....differently from other girls...haha.

2002

-A girl kept doing the things from 2000 and 2001...not a word..

-A girl made me hate Mathematics.

-A girl beat me in badminton...it's not funny guys...haha.

-A girl showed me the funny side of English.

-A girl made me feel a little bit of hatred towards English

-A girl showed me the wonders of Chest...or was is CHESS...haha.

-A girl showed me the wonders of Chinese Chess.

-A girl made me act differently in front of her.

-A girl made me try to be cool.

-A girl made me wait besides her bus everyday before she goes home.

-A girl made me think things...

2003

-A girl, yes, you guessed it, kept on doing the stuffs from 2000, 2001, and 2002...=_='

-The same girl, stopped doing it by the end of the year...YEAY!!! haha.

-A girl made me loved Mathematics back.

-A girl made me felt that I could achieve a great result in UPSR...haha.

-I beat a girl in badminton...LEGENDARY!!

-A girl showed me the wonders of hip hop.

-A girl made me cry....damn...

-A girl showed me that, all the things she had done in the past, was for my goodness sake.

-I think I started to know what was the feeling I had for the girl back in 2000...it was called LO...no, a CRUSH...haha..

-A girl made me talked about her with my boy friends...haha.

-A girl made me had a little rivalry with a particular boy...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

-A girl made me said stupid and moronic things to a boy....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...the special one who's reading this, you know what is it right?

-A lot of girls were cheering me on as I was involved in a rope pulling competition...^^ haha..

-A girl made me felt so sad because it was time for us to say goodbye...sumpah bangang...haha.

2004

-I was in a new environment where all the girls, were pretty much that are of the same colour as me...and I was feeling weird...haha.

-I was talking to girls not like how I talked to them back during my late 90s and early 00s...haha..

-I started to have feelings for lots of girls...ye2, gelak la kuat2..celaka...

-At least two girls made me felt mentally inferior.

-I was appointed leader to all the boys and girls in my class..

-BUT the girls revolted and planned an uprising. The girls break through the doors of my house while I was sleeping, killed my wife and kids, dragged me with me only in my underwear, brought me to a execution square, where I was unjustly crucified and burnt my body for the reason that I was a devil worshipper...........no la, they just reported to the teacher and the teacher summoned me.

-Girls made me felt so ashamed of being incapable of being a leader.

-I let go of my post as I was too bloody angry with the girls.

-I started to hate girls...and began liking boys...no la...just the first part..haha.

2005

-I was shocked as I was picked as a candidate as class president...and to know that it was the girls that planned my downfall last term who were the ones that suggested my name, I was like....what the fuck?

-I won the fight for the presidency with another candidate who succeded me last term and to my amazement, it was the girls who planned my downfall last term that voted for me...celaka...

-And to further make things confusing, my vice president, was the same girl who was my vice president last term that was the leader to the uprising.

-I wasn't as straight forward as I was back then so I decided to keep it to myself, working cautiously with the girls in my class, especially those from the asrama...damn...

-As months went by, I started to actually thought that the girls had changed. And working together with them were actually quite fun.

-Girls think that I talked too loud.....so what? haha...

-Girls think that I laughed too much and too loud....HAHAHA???

-Girls think that I was too big...BLAME GOD YOU MORRONS!!!

2006

-I met girls who understood my humour...haha.

-I met girls who tolerated my hornyness...haha.

-I met girls who laughed as loud as me...haha.

-I met girls who were quite cool...and open.

-I was made class president again, made me thought that I HAD POWER OVER WOMEN! haha...

-I started to flirt with girls.

-I started to look at girls when they don't know that I'm looking...stalker? haha...

-I started to like lots of girls...ye2, gelak la kuat2 lakhnat!!!

-This particular girl made me felt like how it was back at 2000.

-A girl made me do stupid things...

-A girl made me embrace the feminie side of me...waduh...

-A girl made me went all romantic...haha..

-A girl became my first professional more-than-friends mate...haha.

-A girl made me bought lots of chocolates for her.

-A girl made me changed tuition centres because of wanting to be close with her.

-A girl made me confess my feelings via Friendster....hahahaha...dah2, it's not that funny.

-A girl made me thought that I was on top of the world.

-A girl made me feel loved.

-A girl made me thought that this happiness will never end.

-A girl made me being friends with her girl friends...haha.

2007

-A girl made me go to an all boys school....=_='

-I started to miss girls.

-I was starting to become crazy because of lack of girls....haha.

-A girl made me missed her very deeply.

-A girl made me dump her, via the phone.

-A girl made me felt lonely.

-A girl, made me hate numbers....ADD MATHS....celaka....

-A girl, made me hate PHYSICS...NUMBERS...CELAKA!!!

-A girl made me had my first ever single digit in an examination...damn...

-A girl made me looked at her butt when she doesn't realised it....haha..dah terdesak..and gersang..what can a man do?

2008

-A girl, two in fact, actually watched and loved HOUSE...haha.

-I met a girl whom last I saw her was back at 2003 when we were in an English camp, together.

-I met lots of girl who were of the same primary school as me.

-I told a girl that I think of her as a lesbian...haha...

-I told a girl that I think of her as a bisexual chick...haha...

-I tried to flirt with this one girl, but she was way too hot for me...

-As time goes by, confidence is back in me and to my amazement, she's open about my jokes and sense of humour...LEGENDARY!!!

-I looked at a girl constantly when she thinks that no one is watching her...

-A girl bought me my first ever motorcycle.

-I started to have feelings for this girl, the ones that are the same as back at 2000.

-A girl made me felt so nervous when talking to her.

-A girl made me felt that I was chewing on my toungue while talking to her.

-But the girl was oblivious so I kept my feelings to myself.

2009

-I watched too much HOUSE and HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, this led me to openly tell the girls that I like, that I was physically attracted to them.

-A girl thought that I was weird.

-A girl thought that I was a pervert.

-A girl thought it was cute...haha.

-A girl thought it was awesome.

-I told my feeling to the girl from 2008 and her reactions was...mixed.

-Oh, and I met girls from Africa, who made me felt pretty inferior...haha.

So, there you have it. Ladies and gentlemen, with that, my first ever 15 blog entry in my life, is finished. And it's about all the BAD things...and of course them good ones that the opposite sex had done to me...haha.

Tag Dari Ehsan

2009-06-12T19:56:00.000+08:00

Do you laugh when you hear the word penis?

No, I will ask the person, elephant form mate? haha...

Do you watch porn?

Yeah...it's like the air that I breath...the food that I eat...it's that bloody important to me..

What do you think about sex?

cu?Greatest gift by God to men...

How often do you think about sex?

Oh what? Sorry...I was thinking about me getting involved in a foursome just now...

What do you think about virgins?

Ah...greatest birthday gift, EVER!!!

Who will you tag next?

Them people who think that they are virgins...haha.

Lot's of info today...haha.

2009-06-04T20:16:00.000+08:00

Seriously, I do not know why would someone tried so bloody hard to pendam all the things that what he thought was wrongly done to him by his friends. How should I bloody know that what I'd done, like for example mengepau this particular fella, is an act that he interpreted as kurang ajar. Wait2, are you trying to say that it's ok for other people to talk shit about you, make fun of your family members, and call you stupid names but not ok when it comes to mengepau you with a can of drink? Hmmmm... And when I asked you why you said nothing, instead, you gave me riddles...you tried to act cool....you said all them other things that don't matter to the particular agenda at hand.

And funny part is, he thought that I wouldn't be able to accept that fact... I wouldn't be able to accept that I was being kurang ajar to him. For the record...I need to tell you guys this:

I WENT THROUGH A WHOLE LOT OF SHIT THAT I AM SURE PRETTY MUCH MANY OF YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE....

Yes...yes, keep that thought in your mind, about what could I'd possibly experienced that could be so bloody bad. Yes...yes...imagine it, and BOOM! It's a whole lot worst than what you'd imagined. I can say that it's around 3 or 4 people, probably 3 girls and 1 boy, knew this secret of mine... And that particular boy should really feel special...not everyday he can hear that type news from anyone, But now, I think I had doubts amongst 4 people I'd chosen to tell my secret to...damn.

And because of that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I would like to say that, if I'd done many bad things to you, probably the ones that I didn't noticed, I really, really, really do appreciate it if you would tell me. Don't keep it to yourself...I don't want you to EXPLODE in a particular day that would eventually lead to our relationship being uncomfortable. I had went through the worst experience that any person shouldn't had went through. And if you think that that didn't make me tough inside, then I think you should suck more DICK!!! haha.. Seriously, I can handle the truth. Because the truth that I handled before, is far worst than what you guys can possibly give me...far worst...like..wait for it...wait for it....LEGENDARY worst!!! haha... (I'm a Barney Stinson fan now...haha )

Hmmmm, before writing this entry, I read this other entry. It's about a girl... Hahaha...she just made a complete fool out of herself with her blog describing her with being other than a complete fool...haha...trying to censor this entry so that no one could possibly guess who the girl is... She's not too particularly conscious about the limitations of touch between men and women as describe in the Holy Quran, nor did the boy but she did wrote stuffs that I think would make her such a bloody, stupid, hypocratic bitch...damn.

Oh, and I want to thank to the people that made me so happy just now at Alamanda...actually i'm referring to a girl...trying to stir up something...haha....or do I???

Oh, and I want to make a shout out to that particular boy...haha. I know we are cool right now, but I just want people to judge whether who's wrong, you or me... I GOT A GREAT IDEA!!! Why don't you start an entry to respond to this one? But I think people would by then know that the people I'm talking about is you...bummer... HIGH FIVE!!! haha..

And one more thing. I predicted that this particular lovey-dovey relationship would last for a maximum of 6 months...but it turns out that it didn't even reached 3...haha...I'm giving that particular guy too much credit... Ni kira menyebarkan fitnah ke? Hmmm.... Anyway, it's fun sometimes to play God and predict the demise and destruction of the happiness of others...haha. It makes me feel......wait for it...wait for it...LEGENDARY!!! haha...

Semuanyer superficial...plastic...ceh.

And to that particular guy, suka hati you la...nak pilih yang mane. I'm not gonna be all sensitive and emo with you....or will I? haha...

So, there you have it. With that ladies and gentlemen, I finished my first 9th blog entry in my life...haha.

This past 5 years in my life....

2009-05-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

So, without me noticing, I'd been in college for like 3 months now. And hell yeah, I'm 18 now...haha.

To those asking whether it's good or not, bloody stop it. I'd only been in this bloody surrounding for only 3 months, you want me to compare it with 11 schooling years? haha...

Anyway, since this past few months, many things had happened to me; many interesting things, many pathetic things, many fun things, many lame things and so on. I must admit that I found it pretty hard to adjust myself to my new surroundings, especially financially...(damn it). But seriously, after I watched this particular movie, Rocky Balboa, this special quote managed to somehow pull my spirits back up..

ROCKY BALBOA: "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

So guys, my friends especially, Abdul Aziz B. Abdul Rahman to be precise, read this quote over and over again and you'll know what I mean.

And I must say that to all my friends that managed to get their hands on any scholarships, I am deeply happy for you too. And guess what, I am also quite proud of you guys too. BUT, I must also admit that I am quite jealous...oh well, as House use to say...

HOUSE: "You can't always get what you want."

Anyway, my main problem for these past few months, for quite some while actually, is feelings towards the opposite sex a.k.a THOSE GREAT CREATURES CREATED BY GOD TO BE THAT MADE BOYS FEEL LIKE MEN!!! haha... I'm proud to say that, after 5 years of watching House, all them philosophies, all them thinkings, all them views on how House views life had been burried deep inside my heart, and my mind. Few incidents and actions from the past had successfully made me a true student on Houseology...haha.

But, as time goes by, I must also come to conclusion that I am also human and House is only a fictional character that was created to make a medical drama exciting. I....I....I....feel lonely as each passing day as I found it hard to trully believe those around me, I found it hard to accept smiles and good deeds from my friends and those around me towards me, and I don't know who to trust with my life and feelings.

Back at school, since form 2, I never believed in the existence of best friends anymore. I could never trust anyone anymore. I see everyone as hypocrites that are making the world a worse place to live in. I only see comedy and humour as a way to interact with others and keep this growing feeling inside me.

By form 3, I accept the fact that everyone is a hypocrite, including me. I was living a life which was a far-cry from what the Prophet Muhammad preached more than 2000 years ago. But I done no drugs, smoked no craps, and yes, I'm still a VIRGIN..haha. At this particular time, my testosterone hormones were working overtime. Girls were running riot in my mind. And the fact that my friends around me were coupling left, right and centre, I must admit that it got me curious. So, I tried to woo this girl. But this girl kinda like this other guy. Maybe it was only me but she kept on giving me mixed signals. One day I decided that she's a bitch who's aim is to spread AIDS through courtship so I changed my target to another girl. This girl was cute, and I think she realised that. This is because she almost seemed to be trying very hard to show the whole bloody class that she was cute. But I think my size kept her away from me...(damn bloody genes..haha) I was kinda angry but hey, watching House reminded me to not be faithful and hopeful as it is not worth it. After a week or two, I was back to my old self.

I must say that I was quite agitated, jealous and angry towards my friends, with some of them changing girlfriends with each passing month...haha. So, I gave it one last try and I targeted this girl. I don't know why but we were pretty great friends so I harbour little feelings towards her. But I still remember that particular day, after sawing her acting in a way that made me think that :" My God, this girl is classy, she's great, shy...and I think I'm in love.." haha...

And bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla...we were a couple. Bla bla bla bla bla....friendster...bla bla bla bla bla...chocolates..bla bla bla bla...messaging...bla bla bla bla...feeling happy...bla bla bla bla more chocolates and I think we were doing quite good as we lasted for 1 year. I don't know if she still remembers it but the day when we made it official was 040506 and the date it ended was 050607...haha. I must say that my first relationship, lasted for a BLOODY YEAR!!! haha.. The reason to why I wanted to leave her is because I think at that particular time is that, the fire was gone. Throughout that one year period, do you believe me when I say that we never, ever, EVER, went for a date....=_='..haha.

She was a great girl, one of the best that I ever met because throughout that one year period, we never hold each other's hands, we never walk close to each other, she never revealed her hair and the best part was, she never gave me dirty messages through the phone!!!! NEVER!!! haha... The fire was gone maybe because of those things that we never do. I was kinda like a wild child, staying up all night partying while she's the typical good girl next door who will never lie to her parents...and people say opposite attracts...celaka...haha.

In certain ways, I must say that she kinda changed me. She was this good angelic girl while I was covering my inner Satan with hypocritical acts. One day, she gave me a message through the phone that changed my life. After that message, I was, in certain ways, were much more connected to God if compared to the last 14 years that I was alive on this Earth. My House influences were reduced dramatically. I began to trust, I began to love, I began to view the world as a place that is not all doom and gloom.

But all good things must come to an end. Thinking back, it was pretty pathetic for me to trully believe that our long range relationship would work while grown-ups had tons of problems with their short range relationships...haha.. I was enrolled into SaSer in Seremban and the only ways for us to contact each other, was through messaging. And I think that was the biggest factor that put out the flames of passion between us...haha...

Oh, in form 4, many things happened. At that particular time, I was quite unsure with myself regarding my abilities because, that place was filled with people who are better if not as good as me. And of course, the introduction of Add Maths lakhnat...and Physics celaka weren't making things any good. And there, after my split with my first gf, I used to see House as a source of solving all my problems...that is his philosophies and thinkings of course. And by that, Houseology were back in me...haha. Oh, and that place were full with jackasses, assholes, and pussies in terms of how they act. I never see so much hypocrites in my life before. And because the environment is like that, and with my inner Houseolgy, I did pretty well to cope with most of the assholes there.

Enter form 5 and I was required to leave SaSer due to a medical complication....haha. Take this into record that I never liked the school, but I loved my classmates. Maybe I am being pathetic and dumb by saying that my classmates, were some of the best guys that I'd ever met. If you're thinking I'm lying, take into account that I'd already revealed this much, why should I lie so that I wouldn't hurt the feelings of some parties? haha...

So, I was dragged into JESS, Jalan Empat Secondary School in the middle of the year, around May or June. At this particular time, my Houseology were at its peak due to 2 years living in a pretty hostile place...haha. But I didn't walk back down that path of living as far away from God as experience taught me that, trying to live without God, is the stupidiest, moronic thing that one person can ever do. Atheist...ceh, tu semua sebab diorang ni insecure, trying to prove something in a way that many do not dare to do so just to show that they're special than others...BANGANG!!!

In JESS, the first few months were slow...I was thinking that maybe, my classmates were thinking me as a gay because I was coming from an all boys school. So one day, I decided to straighten up the record and after that, I must say that things were much better...celaka ar korang..haha. Oh, for the first few months, I was quite close with my Chinese friends... I knew a few of the guys in JESS, example Raja and Khairul Syakir. And all these other Malays, when they see me speaking and hanging out with them Chinese, they were like, "Dia ni melayu ke cina ni..." =_=' What the fuck la wey!!! haha... And after that, I think I managed to break through that barier with my new classmates..but I stayed away from the girls...and so do them...again because of my size..(DAMN BLOODY GENES...haha). And most probably, I feel a little bit strange and awkward in front of girls...sebab dah 1 and 1/2 years in an all boys environment...sounded so bloody gay right? haha...

Anyway, in my brief 5 months stint at JESS,I got the chance to meet and be friends with some pretty great guys; Azlan Latiff, Ramesh, Amir Fitri, Syukri, Lutfil, Hilman, Ekhlas, Aizat, and many more.. So sorry if I didn't mention your names... You guys know who you are, ya'll need no recognition...

Oh, and I meet some pretty great girls to, which I have great confidence in to being great women, fine wives, and a loving mother...right...haha. No la..just kidding...they're Faatimah, Munirah, Dayana, Miera, Shazni, Syadza, Fadhilah..and banyak lagi...

Lots of things happened during my 5 months there. Ada gerai PS2, ada pertandingan lawan tangan, ada menari2, ada videos, and of course...MICHAEL JACKSON!!! haha.I'll never forget that dance routine guys...seriously..haha. And don't know why, I started to like a few of the girls in class. It's normal right? But my definiton of liking is that I feel so attracted to that person that it makes me fantasize constantly about her...not that typical I love you and I wanna couple with you stuff. That's plain boring...haha.. But hey, past experience told me that these things aren't so significant. Add Maths on the other hand, is a bigger pain in the ass...

Oh, and the class, especialy the girls, thought that me loving House so bloody much into a form of fanaticsm, is a bad and weird thing... I say, with all those Korean dramas and Japanese anime running aroung, you guys don't hear me complaining right? haha...

This 5 Dinamik in many ways are pretty much the same like my 4 and 5 Sigma. Minus the girls and the coupling of course...haha. If I had to choose, of course I'll choose no one and stay on the fence...haha. And staying in JESS gave me a new experience that is racial intergration. I never racially abused anyone in SaSer and with the opportunity presenting itself in the form of Ramesh, hell yeah I took it pretty well down with my stride...haha..kesian ramesh...but he's immune to it by now...GO HINDRAF!!!! Oh, and I have this ability to be Chinese by day, Malay by evening, and Indian by night. The perfect MALAYSIAN!!!...haha.

My point being, for these past 5 years, Houseolgy saved me from the many disappoinments experienced by teens the same age with me. But my mistake was that I tried so hard to be like him, in the same fact that he's an atheist. I thought that it was possible to live without God but the big man upstairs proved me wrong. And I also realised that 18 year old logic, and 15 year old logic, we'll be much safer with 18 year old logic. I'm looking forward with my life ahead as now I realised that, the past won't matter as much as the present or the future. And to all my friends, which still remembers my definiton of "friend", good luck to all of you. Let's see sape leh dapat lagi banyak anak...haha..

With that ladies and gentlemen, I finished my first 8th blog entry in my life...haha.

Something for my friend....

2009-04-30T06:12:00.000+08:00

Every now and then I fall in love,

Every now and then I think I'm head over heels for you;

But when I see how free is the flying dove,

I must now say that I think I just like you.

But wait I think I'm not quite sure,

Maybe it's just my hormones messing with me;

So I asked my friends just to be sure,

But I think they're just messing around with me.

Even though your friend tried to warn you,

They're busting their ass just to save you;

But you decided that love conquers all,

Until reality knocks and hit you hard in the balls.

And yet you still think it's just a game,

Where everything revolves around you;

She kept on talking and mentioning your name,

Makes your pee-pee working overtime for you.

Seconds turn to minutes and then to hours,

From hours it slowly changes into days;

With weeks you finally think that things couldn't get sour,

Until sickness kept you in bed for days.

Because of that you didn't contact her,

Because of that she thinks you don't like her;

So she moved on with another guy in order to please her,

But you, were left out with memories about her.

But you think that this is not what you want,

And you think that this is certainly what you need;

But I told you before that you can't always get what you want,

But if you try you'll get what you need.

So you tried hard to make things good,

You tried even harder to make things better;

But my friend sometimes we are like football boots,

Where the expensive ones are made of leather. <---(WTF?? Idea raja...haha)

When things turn bad you think it's still not too late,

You tried hard to save everything for true love's sake;

Your friends tell you to find another mate,

Or how about we just buy one for you to make.

You're still defiant you're still ignorant,

You're still thinking that it's still not too late;

But you made a move that were so stupid and blatant,

Now everything you do couldn't undo that mistake.

So now you say that you're over her,

You're ok, moving on, and forgotten all about her;

But suddenly you gave me this shit about giving cupcakes to her,

Seriously, you're making an ass out of yourself for someone like her?

Dude, I'd done all things humanly possible for you,

Just hoping that you would stop going down this path;

Cause I afraid that if something happened to you,

I can't always be there to lend you my back.

Hahaha...one month since my last entry, and I come up with this shit...

The Coolest JPJ dude, EVER!!!

2009-03-25T09:28:00.000+08:00

Damn...I never thought that this was possible...but, this morning, I opened my laptop and realized that my baby is covered in a layer of dust!!! CELAKA...sebab dah 1 week I left my laptop on the table...AND NOT USING IT!!!

"Ala cayang bucuk2...kecian dia..berhabuk. Meh sini...abang bersihkan.." I told my laptop. =_=' Imagine what I will tell my wife if I didn't see her for one week...haha..

Anyway, it'd been really some time since I updated this account with a new post. And since today is Wednesday, I think it would be a pretty good day because it'd been a week, 1 WEEK SINCE I PASSED MY BLOODY JPJ TEST!!! Woohoo...I can legitimately run over a person after this!! haha... And I wanna give a tribute towards the coolest JPJ dude, EVER!!!

To be frank, I was quite paranoid...and of course traumatised by the event I suffered 1 month ago. So, for precautionary steps, I made sure that I will not play any bloody futsal that morning with any bloody friends, in particular a guy named Ihsan Aminuddin. I also made sure that I checked the bloody blue paper thingy that I received the time period that I'll be taking my test.

BUT SHIT!!! The thing is not at the Mazris HQ, it's at the Cemerlang Driving Centre. So, even though my session is either on the morning of evening, it doesn't matter as THE BLOODY BLUE PAPER IS AT THE DRIVING CENTRE!!! So, I called up Raja to ask whether he can check if my session is in the morning or evening. He said he already tried and the people there gave him no conclusive answers but I do think that he simply didn't give a damn...haha.

Kantoi Raja...

Anyway, on the way there, memang cuak giler!!! Time naik motor, bawak 40-50 jer...haha.

On the way, I was pretty focused on the road as the last time I passed through here en-route to the examination, right in front of my own eyes, I saw a monitor lizard being ran over by a freaking car!!! You can call me superstitious or any other thing but I do thing that that sign last month, was an early indication of what bad luck I will go through through out the day. At that particular moment, I thought it was cool to see a living creation of God being mercilessly had it's brain and intestine splattered all over the road but now, thinking back, lizard brain isn't so cool after all.. =_=' Seriously, who wouldn't right?

And furthermore, I was wishing like crazy so that I woulnd't come across other people being involved in an accident as I saw one, with Zafril Amzar, last month, together, as we were riding on my bike to the driving centre. See how pathetic and irrational I'd been? =_=' Sumpah kalo House tau, memang kene sarcasm macam celaka....

Anyway, I didn't came across all those omens and arrived at the Cemerlang Driving Centre with a huge sigh of relieve...haha. Upon arriving there, I went straight into the office and to my satisfaction and happiness, my test is during the morning session and I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

After that, I met up with Raja and together we queued up along with 50+ other hopefulls. We were talking and suddenly, I saw this unmistakable physique of two chinese niggers with mp5s on their hands...haha. No la, it was Brian and Alex and today too was their Day of Judgement on their quest of obtaining that illusive P sticker on every deserving car...haha..

So, macam biasa la. Dah jumpa Brian, I pun tergelak2 la ngan dia pasal bende2 bodoh... =_=' And Alex tu, always with SUK ANN!!! SA, SA, SA, SA....STEALH ASSASSIN! haha. So, after getting our numbers, we waited by the next hut near the exam site to kill time, wait for our turn, and of course, LAUGH AT THE DEMISE, HUMILIATION, HATRED, DISAPPOINMENT AND UTTER

DESTRUCTON AND ANNIHILATION OF OTHERS!!!! HAHAHAHA...

So, sampai turn Raja, memang cuak giler babi ar muka dia..tapi nak control gak...haha.

"Raja, kerrggghhhh....kerrggghhh!" I blurted out a sound resembling a car having troubles changing gears trying to scare him... But unfortunately, I also got the unexpected attention of others that were in their car...and they all were quite annoyed...haha.. Anyway, Raja passed, DAMN, and when he got off that car, his smile was soooooooo bloody wide sampai ada nampak sikit2 cam Joker..cis..

So, it's my turn now. I must admit that I was a little bit nervous BUT!!! I will not let this be another dark day for me where I eventually be left disappointed, ankle twisted, and bruised from a motorcycle accident!!!

So, ni la dia... Kete kancil lakhnat tu... Imagine how much suffering I need

to go through just to go through those doors...haha.. Anyway, ni gambar internet...but you guys get my point right? Kete ni terenjut satu side babe bila I masuk!!! haha...

Slowly...yet surely...before entering the car...I was imagining things...I was seeing things...things that reminded me of heaven...things that made my stomach all funny inside...

First this....

After that, this...

THIS!!!!

Oh my God...this...

And finally...THIS!!!!

"Yes baby...let me hold you tight... We're gonna make sweet love tonight..." I blurted out to the car while I slowly slided myself into it... I felt the seat slowly rubbed against my butt and I must admit, that I was somehow aroused...haha.. =_='

FYI: This is my dream car... The Toyota Sprinter Trueno...yes...it is. Not the one merged with the bloody Kancil... Just ask anyone who had battled me in Battle Gear 3 and they will all say: NEVER MESS WITH HIS WIFE MAN!!!

"Oh come on sweetheart...I'd been loyal to you all week... Don't do this to me...you know you love me..." I slowly voiced out these few words as I put my left leg on the clutch and realised that it was pretty loose. Because I don't wanna take any risk, I decided to take off my shoes as I will directly feel the clutch under my feet...

"Bro...your turn now.." An old man gave me the signal.

"Yes babe, I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABY!!!" I gave a little shout before I start climbing that bloody hill... Masih segar di dalam ingatan akan bagaimanakah saya boleh terlupa untuk tekan break semasa berada di atas bukit itu satu bulan yang lepas... =_=' haha...

With that little war-cry, I slowly released the clutch and push on the throttle. 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 and finally I realised that I was finally on the BLOODY HILL!!! I gave a little smirk, apparently to no one, and pulled on the handbrake... =_=' Gosh I was really milking the moment pretty good wasn't I...haha..

The jpj dude asked my number and I told him my number. He finally gave me the signal that I can move down the hill and at that particular moment, I swear to God that my body went numb. But don't know why, the car suddenly shook violently and that snapped me out of my numbness.

"Sweetheart....I love you!!!" I blurted out after I quickly put my leg onto the the clutch moments before the engine could give up on me.

"I swear to God, I'm gonna make you cry TONIGHT!!!" I voiced it out slowly, again, apparently to no one, =_=' as I realised that somehow, beneath my current level of deduction at that particular time, the car somehow came to life and saved me from utter annihilation and humiliation...haha...

"Yeah baby!!! Yeah!!! Work it girl!!! WORK IT!!!" I blurted out, apparently again to no one while smacking the steering wheel as I finish the 3-point turn after finishing the parking test without even breaking a sweat... Nasib baek kete ni bukan pompuan...kalo x...haha..

I stopped onto the spot I got in before to get off the car after I finished my first level of trial in today's Day of Judgement.

"I will forever be yours Rose..." I put both of my index and middle finger onto my lips before putting it onto the steering wheel as a sign of gratitude and affection I had towards the car. And apparently, I was caught in the moment of where I will forever leave my sweetheart forever after all the things that she had done to me. And apparently, my mind choosen the name Rose out of the Titanic movie... =_=' See how pathetic I am at that particular time? haha...

With me passing the first level of judgement quite easily, I took a breather with Brian, Alex, and Raja, to regain all my composure in order to face the final judgement on whether I deserve that coveted P sticker on my car or not. Again we laughed aimlessly to kill time. And yeah, we talked about DOTA...haha... Brian...NERD!!!!

So, around 11.30, after gaining my brief moment of rest, I made my way to the other hut where I will make sure that this will be the final time I put my foot on this cursed land!!! I sat down, waiting for my turn along with others. The bloody part is that almost most of them got friends to talk to while I was sitting there, all alone...poor me..haha..

"51?" A lady yelled out my number. I raised my hand and went towards the designated car.

Ain't no mountain high enough,

Ain't no valley low enough,

Ain't no river wild enough,

To keep me away from you babe.

Somehow, Diana Ross's Ain't No Mountain High Enough kept on ringing in my head as I make my way onto the car. The Hollywood effects just won't stop, wouldn't it? haha...

"Abende ni...pakai headphone dengar lagu bawak kete ni... Aduh..." Those were the words blurted out by the JPJ dude as I first entered the car.

"Pedih...pedih...celaka!!!" I told myself as only now I realised, the Diana Ross song that kept ringing in my head, is due to me hearing it with my freaking headphones...without me noticing it!!! CELAKA!!!

"Meh sini bagi bende tu... Sape ajar ko leh buat bende camni... Aduh..." Those penetrating words further dampened my spirits even before the bloody thing even started. I gave him the whole thing and he put them onto his lap.

"Dah, dah...pakai seat belt, kita start sekarang.." He gave me the signal that I should start the test. I managed to finish my routine 5-point check of the car before starting the engine. I gave the signal to the right and both of us took off.

When we reached the first stop sign, he began to take a look at my phone and plucked out the earphones. I slowly took my time to reach that big hill out of Cemerlang when he suddenly asked: " Ni camne nak pasang ni...handphone ni. Nak dengar lagu jap.."

My first reaction was to help him but suddenly I remember my uncle telling me that these JPJ dudes love to play tricks on us.

"Erm...ni tengah bawak kete ni... Mane leh tolong..." I replied.

"Alahai...lek ar... Tak kan nak dengar lagu pun x leh..."

"Nanti fail x ni..."

"Orang nanti dengar radio gak kalo dah pass...fail abendenyer..."

"Sumpah?"

"Janji.."

Don't know why, without even thinking of it, I showed him how to operate my phone so that he can play the songs I got.

"Giler ar...BEAT IT SIOT!!!" The JPJ dude, who's name was Ali something blurted out, apparently in excitement as he sang verses from the song.

"Beat it....beat it...ta ra ra ta da ta da daa" Was what I managed to understand from his mumbo-jumbo.

"Beat it...beat it...show em how te de..tong is your fight..it te de mate whos rong or right.." Was what I managed to comprehend from his take on one of history's greates song. haha...

"Meh ar dik...join ar sekali..nyanyi..."

I was like..."What the fuck? Is this dude serious?"

"Ok dik, tukar lagu jap.....KU DIHALAMAN RINDU!!!!??? LAYAN!!!" He blurted out, again in sheer excitement and jubiliation...

"JOIN AR!!!!"

" Ditengah kepekatan..malam. Berdiri aku dihalaman..rindu. Dihembus kenangan lalu...." I sang out, apparently a little bit slower than he is...and of course..a little less energy than he is...haha...

"Hamko hamise chura lo..." Suddenly, my phone...keluar that ringtone..signalling that I had received a message.

"Badan jer besar...minat HINDUSTAN!!! haha..." He joked. To be truthful, I was embarrassed, but x de la sampai bluching giler2... Tapi memang lakhnat...CELAKA HOTLINK!!!!

"Ku dihalaman rindu...HANYA BERTEMAN...BUNGA YANG LAYU!!!!" Kita terjerit-jerit before entering the final corner entering back Cemerlang. Actually, the JPJ dude was more into it than I was.

"Dah, dah.. Simpan cepat...x leh bagi orang laen nampak ni..." He changed his body position backwards and put my phone, along with my headphone at the back.

So, after stopping right besides the hut, he was doing his JPJ stuffs, writing stuffs and signing those forms before he asked me: "Nak fail ke lulus?"

I could only see my legs as I was afraid to answer that question. I don't know whether all those things were him acting and causing me to fail, again.

"Nasib baek x jawab. Banyak orang, diorang ingat aku ni maen-maen time test. Ramah ngan diorang, maen handphone diorang, nyanyi ngan diorang. Pastu, diorang lupa yang aku ni orang yang bagi markah diorang. Pastu leh lak diorang kurang ajar...cakap lulus ar...fail un leh gak.. Tapi ko bagus...ko x jawab...ko hormat aku..."The JPJ dude kept on talking while I kept my head low and crossing my fingers hoping for the best. Swear to God that I think the people outside must have thought that I was getting a lecture...

"Nah...ambik ni..." He handed out a piece of paper that I was so eagre and yet so afraid to see.

19/20

What....the....fucking....bullshit....asshole....

I was thunderstruck...and every single one of curses that I knew went rampaging through my mind. I passed...I BLOODY PASSED!!!!!!!!

"Terima kasih encik...saya akan ingat nasihat tu sampai bila2..." My words terus jadi skema...haha...

"Dah, dah...turun... Ada orang nak test lagi..."

I made myself out of the car and slowly digest the fact that I passed the test. I met Brian and after a few moment chilling out with him and telling him stuffs, I ride my bike back to Bangi while on the way, I kept on thinking about the stuffs that the JPJ dude, Ali said. To me, he deffinitely was a pretty interesting guy. The way he view the world, a little bit of House, a little bit of Cuddy, and a little bit of Wilson. haha...

Anyway, so there you have it ladies and gentlemen, my first ever 7th blog entry in my life is finished. And it'll be one of those that I can't never forget...haha... And sorry kalo terlalu panjang...tiba2 ilham datang mencurah-curah...haha..

Ken Follet, Daytona USA, Bowling, Dr. Manhattan and a cheesecake.

2009-03-18T13:07:00.000+08:00

Hahaha...I'm not exaggerating things when I say that I really forgotten that it was really my birthday. Not until Amir Fitri gave me a message that is. So, I'll give you guys a rundown on what I did that day. Oh, and I am so sorry for not writing more because I'm really busy these days...

Anyway, I'd been at Kluang since the day before and yes, I can speak a lil bit of Javanese... Wes mangan ye pak? haha..

So, the day started pretty much like the same. I was thinking that it was probably 10 or 11 of March...see how pathetic I am? I lost track of 4 days of my life... =_=' haha... Anyway, I woke up around 10 or 11 as I slept at 3 last night...reading a particular Ken Follet novel titled Pillars of The Earth until I lost the track of time. But anything to escape the pain of watching Akademi Fantasia with my grandma and other cousins...

So, after I took my bath, I pun selamba jer la sembahyang Subuh at around 11.30. It was lucky that my grandfather wasn't there as he will, like all good grandfathers do, give their grandkids a 30 minute lecture on things that I done wrong, and of course life...haha. After watching Dirty Jobs at Discovery, I was starting to get bored so I decided to take the 135 LC that my grandma have, and mines only a 125 WAVE =_=' , to go to town to kill time.

To be frank, Kluang ni bukan kampung abis... Here got around 3 pretty decent shopping complex and Bangi have only 1...or is it 2...maybe it's also 3.. Anyway, due to having to much time and a tank full of gas, I decided to go around these 3 shopping complex and see what's people in Kluang do in their spare time.

Tapi memang celaka la tempat2 dia...BORING!!!! Got this arcade, but semua game budak2!!! Boleh ke diorang letak Battle Gear 2 jer...kan lakhnat tu nama nyer... And then Daytona, I swear to God that I almost burn the bloody place down to the ground. I pilih manual, and then after that turn where I changed gears, the whole thing went auto... =_=' And I was racing with these few girls, quite cute, so I pun decided not to get beaten. BUT SUMPAH SIALAN BENDE TU, and of course those 3 girls like team up and ran my car through the wall...4 kali lak tu... =_=' Don't know what to say...and with my car looking like hell, I pun pandang dia, admit defeat, and senyum... The girls, all Malays, pun pandang la balik gelak2... I then quickly draw myself out from that place...thank God no one was around...especially dak2 BATTLE GEAR BANGI...haha..

After that, I went to the bowling alley in one of the shopping complex. Thanks to Amirul, who had taught me the art of bending that bowling ball, I must say that it had now become quite an obsession...tapi ada gak masuk longkang...haha.. But I must say that the bowling alley was quite a disappointment. Got only 18 lanes...and the balls, I think was second hand balls... Memang celaka.. And those three holes inside the balls, was like too small... Seriously, hampir tercabut JARI I!!! So I played 2 games...scored 70 and 89 for each game...hahaha..memang noob. But one accident that caught my eyes, and one I wanna share with you guys, is this girl...probably 20 something...pakai punye ketat....badan kira ok la...not to slim, no extra baggage. And kawan2 dia semua lebih kurang pakaian diorang...don't know who they wanna impress because those who are bowling at that time were family men and old people...

So, the girl that I was paying attention to, probably the one with the tightest jeans and shirt were about to throw her ball. I was only expecting to see how good she was with the pins but I think I saw something more. As she was waving her hand back to gain momentum with the ball, at that pinacle final moment, at the point where her right hand was at about her shoulder height and the bowling ball could possiblly be jam packed with the most amount of potential energy, my eyes suddenly caught sight onto a small thing that popped out around her right chest. With moments before she brought the ball down on the lane, I sharpen my view, focused my eye sight onto something that I was sure but not 100%. Eventually, I know that I don't have double vision and came to a conclusion that what I saw, was what some of us boys from JESS called....50 cent.

I will be frank that I was a little bit aroused by that so I paced my bowling time so that when it was time for me to go back to my seat, I will be facing up to that girl who will just about to throw the bowling ball in order to see the 50 cent again...haha... The second time was also a successful one as when I was pacing my steps back to my seat, she was in a position where her right hand was at around her shoulder height and THAT thing popped out...again. I must say that I was somehow happy, relieved, and horny there. So, I sat on my seat while trying to accept the data coming from my eyes on the fact that I JUST SAW A WOMAN'S NIPPLE FOR GOD SAKE!!! After some while, I accepted it while think that it was my luck...

"Dah dia nak tunjuk...layan jer la.." I told myself...

Not only that, while I was siting, it was her turn again to throw the ball and suddenly, this bloody, crazy idea came into by retarded mind to see whether the girl was wearing anything under that tight jeans or not as to her being naked under the tight t-shirt up north.

"Tolonglah...tolong la..." I wished when she was about to run down the lane, stretching her legs while releasing the bowling ball in her right hand in order to expose the outline of whatever she's wearing underneath that tight jeans of hers. I readjusted my view, focusing 200% on her butt, =_=' yes, butt, in order to satisfy my curiosity on whether the girl was wearing anything underneath that tight jeans of hers.

After that throw of hers, I took my sight away from her arse so that she wouldn't know that I was watching her...pathetic..=_=' While she was siting, I thought that I saw nothing that was being shown that resembles the outline of her underwear underneath that jeans of hers while she was stretching to her legs to throw the bowling ball. With that fact in mind, the first thing that came rushing into my head was that she was wearing nothing down south..only a pair of jeans!!! I must admit that I was excited but to double check whether my eyes weren't deceiving me, I looked up on the screen and noticed that this next throw of hers, will be her last. And her name was T KA though.. So, I pun bersiap-sedia for a sight that I might never see again until I get married.

She picked up her preferred bowling ball, which is purple in colour. I pun took out my handphone, konon2 nak message orang so that it won't be too bloody obvious that I was staring somone's butt to other people around there. She walked down the aisle, with her purple bowling ball on her chest. Two more steps from the platform and she released her right hand backwards while I was beaming with exictement. The final step and she brought her right hand forward, released the bowling ball, bringing her right leg behind her left's while stretching and tighting her ever tight jeans even more. My mouth were already watery while my eyes paid 500% concentration onto that part of hers that mant men found so fond off. That moment came and while my eyes were fixed onto that part of hers, I must come to a conclusion, before she changed her sight and looked back behind, under my own perfectly fine and normal sight and mind, THAT SHE WORE NOTHING UNDERNEATH THAT TIGHT JEANS OF HERS!!!!!

"Oh God, let it rain down on me now... Let water soak through that tight t-shirt of hears, let water run down her tight jeans and onto her feet...REVEALING EVERYTHING TO ME... Please God...I beg thee.." I told myself, hoping very hard that a miracle will happen, thus bringing me 10 seconds worth of happiness.

Eventually, there were no smoke so the sprinklers weren't turned on....what else would you think, PERVERT!!! =_=' haha... I was kinda disappointed but the fact that I saw something that most people, especially most men would never see in their lifetime until they get married, compensated more than enough to make my day. haha...

So, after that little 20 seconds of happiness, I made myself to the nearby cinema to watch a movie. I had choosen to watch Watchmen as from the internet reviews, they were saying good stuffs about it while my friends, said that they hated it. Don't know why but the cinema were like only occupied in the back two row only. I guess many preferred GENG rather than this. Finally when the movie started, I realised that the rating for this movie was 18PL. =_='

I expected a typical superhero movie with all those cool graphics and I wasn't disappointed. BUT!!!!! The thing that really shocked me were those ehem..ehem parts.. Silk Spectre and Dr. Manhattan ehem...ehem... Silk Spectre and Night Owl ehem..ehem...again.. WHAT A WHORE!!! haha... Time Dr. Manhattan tengah ehem..ehem tu yg paling celaka... And yang lakhnat nyer, I was sitting next to a woman...probably as old as me..maybe even older. Time ehem...ehem tu berlaku, I looked towards the woman next to me, rasa cam jangkal sikit. Boleh lak time tu, dia pun pandang gak kat I... I laughed a little and she laughed too... After that, I pun slowly yet surely cair ke seat I... Makin lama makin bawah...trying to hide this little sensation that was brewing like a thunder down south...haha... And memang terkejut I bila time first2 nampak whole body Dr. Manhattan. Camera rolling downwards and bila sampai part tu, censored...CENSORED!!!

"BAPAK BESAR!!!!" someone shouted from somewhere in the cinema...haha...celaka...

And boleh lak time tengah tengok movie, time tengah layan, ada orang wish happy birthday. I think the first was Amir Fitri. After receving his message, I was like what the fuck? I checked the date on my phone, the date on my ticket when I finally realised that it was 15th of March, and it was my freaking birthday... Haha.. To be frank, I was shocked, happy, sad, and kinda feeling stupid for myself for forgetting such a day. But to me, as House used to say about birthdays...

"Birthdays, usually I wear a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth managed to circle the Sun one more time. Thought that we wouldn't make it though but damn it if it weren't for those little planets...."

Anyway, bila dah tau, memang kinda sad because no one celebrated with me...sorang2 maen bowling...nampak nipple orang...haha... And when I reached home, the family there bought a cheese cake for me. I was shocked, but only little because I don't wanna over do it... Tapi memang satu, beli cheese cake only one..mana cukup!!!! haha...

Anyway, so there you have it ladies and gentlemen, my first ever 6th blog entry in my life is finished. And it'll be one of those that I can't never forget...haha...